Purpose
by phantomwriter05
Summary: Sarah agrees to save a life while in prison only to wake up in the future. Ryan Learns the truth about his mother, Cameron and Sarah is finally renunited with her purpose. Last Chapter!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys so I know alot of you are like **

**WTF Why arn't you working on Trials!!**

**I'am but I got this great idea from Salvation and DESTINYSARAH on the Terminator wiki chat so I decided to go for it.**

**so here it goes**

A Noble Sacrifice

_"I always knew my purpose in life: Protect my son; get him ready for the coming apocalypse."_

It seemed so easy for Sarah, jumping into that brawl with those cops to give John enough time to get away. It was what she did; it's all she has ever done since she was barely eighteen years old. She protected her son, John Connor, the future leader of the human resistance and her sole purpose in life. But lately her 'purpose' has been straying away from her, no longer needing either her embrace or advice. Now he looked to the machine for comfort and council; he no longer needed her anymore. So, she went to the priest and through other contacts to make sure that he knows not to come for her, to leave and never come back.

"CONNOR, Visitor!!"

Sarah was immediately taken out of her self reflection and back to reality by the booming voice of the prison guard. Sarah looked up from the dirty, dull gray floor toward the burly guard whose face was obscured by the thick cage-like bars.

Sarah stood up, thinking that she would be taken to an interrogation room to talk to one of two people: the priest, who would have word on John and Cameron, or the second, her legal council who would advise her to take the Attorney General's plea deal. She was hoping for the former so she could get some news on John.

She was, however, mistaken when the guards opened her cell only to let in a woman in a blue business suit. She was very pale and sickly looking with a cream bandana covering a bald head. The only color Sarah could see on the women was from her suit and her brown, sallow eyes.

"Hello, Sarah," the woman said in a gentle and weak voice, smiling sadly at her.

"You my legal council?" Sarah asked, sitting down on the cot, avoiding the ill woman's gaze. For reasons unknown to Sarah this strange woman's appearance brought up a sudden but passing fear that Sarah had not felt since she was a child.

"No, my name is Dr. Serena Kogen, I'm here to give you back a purpose, Sarah." Serena's words brought Sarah shocked eyes to the tired brown ones of the doctor.

"What do you mean, 'a purpose'?" Sarah tried to ask neutrally, but shock laced the question. Serena smiled slightly and sat next to Sarah on the cot. Sarah scooted down a bit as the woman sat in Sarah's personal space.

"I'm a genetic scientist with… a company, and you have came up as match with a certain subject's blood type. We were wondering if you would agree to give up some of your bone marrow to us for our experiment." Serena explained with almost a desperate tone in her voice. Sarah stared down at the floor in thought for a minute and sighed as she looked up at Serena.

"No," Sarah stated firmly, returning her gaze to the floor. Serena stood up immediately looking at down on Sarah with an expression on her weary face closely resembling anger.

"This will look favorable in a jury's eye Sarah!" the woman offered, trying to elicit a positive answer out of her.

"I don't give a rat's ass what a jury thinks. I've done my living and now it's over," Sarah replied with no emotion in her voice.

"Maybe you don't care about killing a man, but you can save a baby's life by doing this, Sarah!" the comment caught Sarah's attention, causing her to pause a moment.

"A baby? You told me it was an experiment!" Sarah asked, looking at Serena with alarm.

"This experiment will save the infant's life for sure" Serena assured, placing a hand on Sarah's shoulder. "Please!" Serena pleaded with Sarah squeezing her shoulder desperately. Sarah looked once again into the women's eyes. The look was one Sarah recognized immediately as one of a desperate mother.

"Is it your baby?" Sarah asked

"My grandson," Serena replied without hesitation.

Sarah stared at the cell wall, lost in the memory of a chubby two year old John cuddling into her arms with the sounds of the jungle as his lullaby. Sarah smiled sadly closing her eyes with one tear staining her beautiful face.

"I'll do it."

***

Several days later Sarah was lying down on an examination table in a completely white surgical room. Sarah felt vulnerable and uncomfortable as she was only in her bra and panties; there were no gowns she could put on according to an old female prison guard with a lecherous look on her face as she watched Sarah from a gallery window.

The door opened and and a man in a lab coat entered. He had a blank look on his face and walked stiffly without any wasted movement.

"Hello Sarah, How do you feel?" Serena asked from behind a surgical mask she was putting on.

"Cold," Sarah answered, shivering a bit.

"Don't worry, Ms. Connor, this will only take a moment." The man that followed Serena inside the room replied just out of Sarah's vision. Sarah nodded looking up at the gallery to see that the perverted female guard was gone.

Sarah suddenly felt cold hands grip her wrists and pin them above her. Sarah looked up, alarmed to see Serena looking down at her, holding her down tight. Before Sarah could react she felt a sharp pinch right under her rib cage. Sarah turned her head to see the other doctor pulling a syringe out of her. Almost suddenly Sarah vision began to blur.

Sarah stared at the male doctor with panic as his eyes glowed red.

"Don't worry Sarah you have made a noble sacrifice," were the last words Sarah heard before she blacked out.

**Okay so some foot notes.**

this is AU from "Born to Run" in that Sarah leaves prison before John and Cameron can break her out.

the pervert prison guard is a writing tool that was suggest to me to give the readers a feeling of uncomfort like Sarah.

**Okay Peeps R&R **


	2. OZ

OZ

A rush of cold air was the first thing Sarah felt in what seemed like forever. She tried to open her eyes but her lids felt so heavy that she thought they were made of lead. Her body ached all over. Sarah groaned slightly as she sat up, rubbing her raven haired head. Breathing was hard but slowly got easier. She opened her eyes slowly to find the world still fuzzy and dark. However, as she felt the air shift an intense heat suddenly covered her naked body. Though her sight was still fuzzy at best she could see a glowing orange blur right next to her.

"_Fire?_" thought Sarah as she felt the heat return with a rush of air. "_Wind... am I outside?_" Sarah stood up. As she looked away from the orange blur everything returned to dark "_its night"_. Sarah took several steps before she tripped over some thing. What she fell on was very cold and metallic. Her sight had retuned just in time to see a greasy and scorched T-800 endoskeleton missing its limbs look up at her. Only one eye on the Endo glowed red as it used its still functioning teeth to bite at Sarah.

Sarah gasped in fear and stumbled away from the Endo and on to what felt like a person. Sarah turned see a blank look of an Asian man who had a six inch hole in his chest that had been cauterized. Sarah let out another gasp of fear as she got to her feet. Panic started to set in as she looked up to see that the field she woke up in was littered with bodies of men, women, and metal. She turned around to the spot where she woke up to see a burned out attack helicopter inches from her resting area. A vicious, frigid wind whipped its way across the glen, sending a paralyzing chill across Sarah's exposed body.

"_Clothes…I need some clothes and then I can freak out._" Sarah made her way through the killing field looking for some clothing. But each body's clothing had holes or burns through them. Finally, Sarah found a semi-intact chopper with a dead pilot whose clothes were still intact. Sarah pulled the man out of the wreckage, striping him of his leather bomber jacket and fatigues. Sadly, the man's shirt was covered in blood and his feet did not come with the rest of his body.

Sarah pulled on the pants first. They were loose on her so she used the belt attached to the bomber Jacket as a belt for the pants. Next she slipped on the jacket. Sarah felt warm almost immediately after. Sarah pulled her wavy hair out of the jacket and tucked it behind her ears.

As she moved her hands toward the zipper a strong, hard hand griped her shoulder. Sarah snapped her head to the side just in time to see one of the biggest endoskeletons she had ever seen throw her across the field. Sarah slammed hard against a downed HK, feeling as if all the air in her lungs disappeared. The ground began to shake slightly as the battle- damaged Terminator walked menacingly toward Sarah, crushing and snapping the bones of the dead with each step. Sarah slowly got on her hands and knees looking for a weapon to defend herself with. Fortunately, she found a Desert Eagle sticking out of the bomber jacket. Sarah checked the magazine, took aim, and fired on the advancing machine.

Sadly, the fifty caliber pistol did little to slow the hulking monster. The 600 was only inches away when it reached her. Out of bullets, Sarah stared up at the eight foot terminator defiantly.

"DO IT, YOU METAL BASTARD!!!" Sarah yelled, looking certain death in the eyes.

Just as the 600 moved in for the kill, a flash of light impacted with the terminator's skull, incinerating it. The body of the metal fell backwards, causing small tremors in the ground beneath. Sarah breathed hard as she tried to put together what just happened.

"Don't move," a man's voice called out to her from the shadows of the night. Sarah raised her hands to show she was unarmed.

"What's your serial code, Soldier?" the voice asked from the darkness.

"I… don't know … I don't have one, I'm not a soldier" Sarah responded, rushed and still confused about what exactly was going on. She heard what sounded like an automatic winding down.

"Huh… that's good, 'cause if you would have given me one I probably would have blasted you," the man responded non succulently, coming in to the light of a nearby fire. He was young, no more then twenty or twenty-one with wavy, brunette hair. He wore a worn, dark brown leather jacket with a red sash tied around his left elbow. The collar was popped up and several buttons were missing. His fatigues were black with some sort of pads sewn into the knees. He had brown motorcycle boots that reminded Sarah of the ones she once owned.

The young man made his way down the hill toward Sarah with his plasma rifle raised slightly. He stopped several yards from Sarah looking the terminator over.

"Wow that was a T-600, I didn't know Skynet still makes those anymore" the man said with a bit of surprise in his voice. He sighed then turned his attention to Sarah who was also looking at the decapitated Endo.

"Ummm … where are your … clothes??" the man asked confused. Sarah looked at him strangely for a second before noticing that she was exposing her bare upper body to him due to never getting to zip up the jacket which she did immediately. She gave the young man a reproachable look to which he blushed and lowered his head in shame.

"Well I guess since that rubber skin was after you so you're not metal." The young man stated changing the subject. He walked past her and out over the wreckage to a View of a vast no mans land.

"Wear am I?" Sarah asked a bit panicked walking up next to the young man.

"Well, as far as I know we are in Baja California hundred miles from Home Plate" the man said with a sigh sling his rifle behind him oblivious of Sarah's tone.

"No the date, what year?" Sarah asked desperately grabbing the young mans sleeve and yanking.

He grabbed her hand pulling it off him and in one fluid motion Judo flipped Sarah on her back. He had a murderous look in his eyes as he looked down at her but slowly faded and he let out a sigh.

"Don't grab people, alright." The man said slowly letting the adrenaline drain. Sarah nodded and the man offered her a hand to which she took. He pulled her up in one effortless motion.

"And to answer your question, It's …" the man stopped and looked off in the distance for a moment as if he was reading something.

"December, 12 2029" said the young man looking back at Sarah puzzled. Sarah stepped away from him quickly. She felt sick to her stomach and light headed. Sarah repeated the date over and over until she blacked out.

**Some more Foot Notes**

**So I was trying my best to describe the leather Jacket that the Resistance soldier is wearing as the one Dean wears in Supernatural.**

**I have observed that Sarah likes to grab people violently when she is trying to make a point which is not a good habbit when in a post Jday world. LOL**

**Also a warning to all Anti Jameron people this FF will have Jameron in the future so just sayin.**

**Please R&R guys I need to know what you think.**


	3. Fireside

**So hey, I'm gonna have to say sorry for chapter one sucking. LOL**

**I know it wasn't that great so thank you for sticking with the story so far.**

**Fireside **

_Sarah Sighed heavily as she entered her tent. Ten grueling hours of patrolling for Communist government soldiers in the jungle was by far one of the most dangerous jobs she has ever had that was for sure._

_She sat her gear down on the floor and striped off any other clothing that blocked her from receiving the rare cooling breeze of the jungle. Just as Sarah turned around to begin dinner the sound of little feet made its way into the tent._

"_Mommy, Mommy look what I!! …" the sound of an enthusiastic little four year old called out toward her but was cut off._

"_Not now John…count to ten" Sarah said sternly as she began to build a fire for the quickly approaching evening._

"_Mom, I got something to tell…" john argued back desperately_

"_John!! TEN NOW" Sarah snapped at the small child. she swore she could almost hear the boy's embarrassment of being yelled at._

"_1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10" little John resided quietly rubbing his eyes slightly to hide the tears forming. Sarah turned her head slightly to get a look at John. she felt sudden and immediate guilt as she saw the small puffy eyes of the little boy staring dejectedly at an old beat up book in his hands with the title __The Wizard of OZ__ in Spanish. _

_Sarah finished building the fire cleaning her hands on her pants, she walked over behind John. Sitting behind him she spread her legs so john was sitting between them. Then she wrapped him in a hug pulling him close to her. _

"_Hey, I'm sorry for snapping at you" Sarah looked at john from the side. The boy only smiled at her with puppy dog eyes._

"_Meh It's nothing to cry about" John said confidence retuned to his chubby face. Sarah just laughed shaking her head, kissing him on the forehead. _

_***_

Sarah woke up slowly from her unconsciousness. She felt comfortably warm like someone had been holding her in her sleep. she felt a sleeping mat under her and a leather Jacket under her head for a pillow. She heard a crackle and a voice.

"Home plate come in over"

"_We're receiving you Phillips, report" _Sarah could tell that the voices was female and coming from a radio.

"Operation Angel Wing is a bust; the strike team has been wiped out, and captives executed"

"_How many survivors Captain?"_

"Two, a civilian woman and … me, that's it." The man said with a pang of sadness.

"_You win some you lose some Kiddo. Be thankful you're still alive, I know I am" _the female voice responded with a maternal tone of consul. The man gave a small smile at her comment.

"So hey, I could use a ride" the man said with a slight playful tone.

"_Forget the way home after all these years Boy wonder?" _Sarah could hear the humor in the female's voice.

"Well, It has been a while Blair" the man said with a small chuckle. The female on the radio gave a coded response that Sarah didn't understand then the radio cut heard a long sigh come from the man.

She slowly sat up and looked around. Sarah noticed they were no longer in the middle of a glen like before but at the bottom of a large rocky hill. There was a medium sized fire a few yards way from her; it also separated her and the young soldier who was sitting opposite her.

"Welcome back miss." Greeted the young soldier with a nod of recognition. Sarah nodded back then continued her survey of the area.

"Where are we?" Sarah asked looking for any signs of familiarity.

"We are 3.2 miles from where you fainted." the man addressed Sarah looking at her with interest.

"How did… did you … carry me all night?" Sarah looked at him with surprise. The man looked at her with an arrogant smile.

"I don't sleep… much anyway. No one is ever safe out here" he replied taking a swig from a canteen. Sarah shot him a puzzled look.

"Then where did you sleep?" Sarah asked fixing him with a suspicious look. The man gave her a wry smile.

"Hey my sleeping mat too" the man said brushing something off his navy blue T-shirt. Sarah gave him a murderous look.

"Oh, don't worry I didn't do anything just shared body heat that's all" the man waved her off none succulently. Sarah toned it down to just a glare but she still looked plenty pissed. But for some reason the way the kid carried himself reminded Sarah of John.

"What's you name?" Sarah asked

"Phillips, Ryan Phillips Captain 112th Tech Com" the man answered raising the canteen in a Toasting manner.

"Sarah, Sarah Connor" she responded absently fingering the leather jacket she had been using as a pillow. The jacket was brown leather, soft and well used. It had a thick red sash tied to one of the sleeves elbows and a patch with a broadsword with falcon wings by its side sewn on to the opposite sleeve.

"So what's your story Connor?" Ryan asked suddenly with great interest. "Cause when I found you, you had barely any clothes on. You are also by far the cleanest person I have met in along time. Last and most importantly you look to be thirty two, thirty one and you don't seem to have a scar on you." He stared at her with a hint of curiosity. Sarah scoffed at the statement

"I have plenty of scars, Trust me" Sarah responded with a "_you have no idea" _face. Sarah slightly unzipping the Bomber jacket exposing her bare shoulder to show him the mark were the T-1000 stabbed her. However Sarah was shocked to see that the horrible wound that took years to heal was no longer there. Sarah immediately put her hand under the jacket feeling her bare back for another scar given by the liquid metal's Bladed arm. It was also not there.

"_What the hell is going on!!?" _Sarah screamed in her head as she removed her hand from under the jacket. She gave a small panicked look toward Ryan who was staring with interest at her reaction.

"_If he thinks I'm metal that's the end of me" _Sarah thought quickly.

"Huh, Guess they healed" Sarah covered quickly looking the young man over trying to find something to deflect the conversation. She looked at his face trying to find something.

He had mocca brown eyes, which reminded Sarah of something or rather someone she could not put her finger on. He had light stubble that reminded Sarah of Kyle's a little bit. But what got Sarah's attention was a gruesome thin facial scar that marred his other wise handsome face. The scar ran across his right eye and ended in a V shape on his cheek.

"That's a pretty good scar" Sarah commented turning the attention away from her and right at him. "Machine?" She asked with fax interest hoping that it will derail his train of thought..

The young man turned his head away from her toward the fire as if conflicted about what to answer. There was a pause before he spoke.

"Yeah, Machine" the man answered looking up at her sadly as if he was coming to a hard realization. There was a pause in the conversation afterwards. Both turned there attention back to the dancing flames of the slowly dying fire trying to figure out the problems plaguing both individuals.

"_Think, Sarah, think TDE got to be the only answer I can think of that might explain how I got here. But what about my scars there gone, but how? … Oh god, John, where is John!!" _Sarah turned white as it was the first time she had seriously thought of John since she woke up in 2029. She turned her head toward the soldier about to ask about John when she stopped herself. _"He's already suspicious of me if I ask about John Connor then I'm just asking to get blasted."_ Sarah's thoughts were interrupted by a duffle bag landing on her lap.

"Here, there are some of my extras in there including socks and boots. We got a lot of ground to cover today before we reach the extraction coordinates, so hurry up." Ryan said walking toward her. He grabbed and put on the leather jacket Sarah had been holding and began to pack up the sleeping mat. Sarah got up and moved toward a large rock that was several yards away from there campsite. Once behind it she opened the bag.

The inside of the bag smelled like foot powder and granola which made Sarah's sense of smell cringe. In the bag was a pair of combat boots which was caked with sand, and A grey tank top wrapped in a fur lined, Leather flack Jacket with the same patch on the sleeve as the one on Ryan's jacket.

Sarah unzipped the bomber jacket dropping it to the ground. For the first time Sarah examined herself since waking up. Her entire upper body was completely unmarked. No scars or blemishes, it was as if Sarah's body had been treated to a spa her whole life. A cold shiver went through her a she felt her perfect smooth skin being reminded of Cameron's flawless appearance. "_What's happened to me?" _Sarah Thought as she began to place a shaky palm against her chest afraid of what she would feel.

"Hey, what are you doing back there, Hurry Up!" Ryan barked breaking Sarah out of her fearful trans. Sarah took a deep breath of relief as she felt her heart beating in her chest.

Sarah bent over grabbing the tank top and slipping it on it was a bit too big for her but still modest. Sarah was happy to find a pair of socks in one of the boots. After putting them on she turned her attention to the sand covered boots.

"What's with the sand on the Boots?" Sarah called from behind the rock.

"Just got back from Algeria I haven't had time to clean them" Connor shouted back at her. "You can always walk barefoot if you don't like them Tunnel rat!"

Sarah scowled as she put them on. After tying the laces she pulled out the Flack Jacket and in a show of defiance at being called a "tunnel rat" she tossed the duffle bag over the rock hitting the soldier in the head to which he grinned cheekily.

A small rectangular piece of paper slowly floated down from the sky. Sarah caught it as it slowly danced in the cool wind of the early morning. "_Huh_, _must be from the duffle."_ Sarah thought as she placed it in between her teeth as she pulled on the jacket. Once it was on she pulled the paper out of her teeth and looked at it as she turned to walk from the rock. It had a date that had faded writing on it, 12/24/14. She studied the faded white back ground a moment before she turned the piece of paper over which it reveled a photograph. Sarah let out a surprised gasp "John!"

The first light of dawn revealed a picture of a smiling John Connor in the exact flak jacket Sarah was in now, who was sitting on a car hood with his arm lovingly placed around a smiling Cameron who was dressed in fatigues. But what shocked Sarah more was the appearance of a smiling chubby 4 years old boy sitting on Cameron's lap with familiar Brown eyes and Sarah's moppy raven hair.

"Hey, you ready to go or what?" Ryan asked beyond annoyed coming behind the rock. Sarah looked up from the picture at him.

That's when she saw it, he had Cameron's Brown eyes, Sarah's raven hair; Johns bone structure, and stubble.

"What?" Ryan asked with a look of suspension.

**Heh I told you there would be Jameron**

**Okay so ... to all Jameron fans Sarah is still the main focus of the story. So most Jameron will be told through childhood storys of Ryan.**

**Okay there were hints through the chapter at Ryans paternity. His last name, His comments about sleep and safety, and his attachment to his Leather jacket. ****Anyone who watched salvation will most likely have called it with the flack jacket.**

**I know Alot of people are asking "Where is badass Sarah?" well she is there it's just that Sarah is a contemporary girl. this is the future so while sarah will not run from a fight she might not know what is going on. **


	4. Trust

**Hey so I know this story hasn't been updated in a while but the truth is I don't think this is a very popular story but I push on ahead anyway.**

**LOL I love how when my good buddies Veran and T.R. Sammuels do pregnancy storys people are cool with it but when I do one people want answers now. **

**Don't worry peeps it will be explained in due time.**

**Trust**

Though the mid day sun was bright on the bare tundra of sand and ash the air was quite cold as the beaten planet slowly recovered from nuclear winter. Sarah walked with great care as she continued to stare at the back of Ryan Phillips as he Lead the way through the cold plain.

"I thought it wasn't safe to move around during the day" Sarah asked suspiciously.

"What do you think this is 2018? Skynet got cleaned out of this sector years ago" Ryan replied with a laugh shaking his head. "It wasted a huge amount of resorces with that sortie back there and I think it just signed it's toe tag with it."

Sarah watched him with a million thoughts swirling around in her head.

"_It's not possible, it's just not possible. Metal doesn't have feelings and sure as hell doesn't have babies." _Sarah thought as she stared a hole in the back of the young Captains head. "_Maybe this is some sort of trick and__** it's**__ leading me into one of those Death camps Derek and Kyle mentioned."_ Sarah pondered as she moved toward Ryan's blind side.

"Where are you taking me" Sarah asked sternly with authority.

"Where the hell do you think?" Ryan answered with a chuckle in his voice as he walked with no wasted movement that reminded Sarah eerily of Cameron. Sarah tensed up at his straight posture and meaning full steps.

"Why don't you tell me?" Sarah responded aggressively with mistrust laden in her voice. Ryan stopped in his place and tensed up.

"What the hell!" Ryan shot back at Sarah with a confused voice. "When did you pick up the bad attitude?" Ryan continued with a puzzled look on his face. Sarah was immediately reminded of John and his own face of confusion that she had became accustom to, it only put wood to the growing fire of Sarah's temper.

"When you refuse to tell me where we are going!" Sarah responded angrily. All the humor left Ryan's face as he looked Sarah in the eye.

"Can't tell you Just know that it's a safer place then where ever you had in mind" he responded turning back and started to walk away. Sarah didn't move.

"Not good enough" Sarah stated not giving an inch. Ryan stopped again sighing frustrated at her stubbornness.

"Look Lady, we have a hell of a long way to go today and I'm not in the mood for a bitch fit cause you have trust issues" Ryan replied with an edge. Sarah anger was pushed over the limit.

"Listen, I don't know **what **you are but I don't follow blindly and you don't call me lady!" Sarah countered with a harsh tone. Ryan tensed and turned toward Sarah with a cold expression on his face.

"What am I?" he said with a cold anger. Sarah immediately knew she struck a cord in him. Ryan walked toward Sarah hastily; Sarah didn't move a muscle holding her ground. Both were face to face and inches apart.

"You heard me, I won't follow a Machineto a slaughter house_" _Sarah spat in Ryan's face

"You listen to me bitch and you listen well because I'm gonna say this only once. I have orders from John Connor to bring any **tunnel rat** captured by the machines back to HQ, and I will follow those orders even if I have to drag you there by your hair." Ryan spat back. "As for me being metal, If you ever call me that again … Let's just say there was no order as to the condition I bring you back" Ryan looked Sarah dead in the eye. She saw burning hot rage in his eyes.

"_So he doesn't like being called a machine huh" _Sarah continued to stare down the young man. It felt as if she was looking into mirror. Just by the way there faces were contorted in anger was similar in many ways and it unnerved her more then a little. "_He's taking me to John; my pride can't screw this up"_

"Fine, take me to John" Sarah said walking past him. She stopped several steps trying to get her anger under control. She heard a long sigh of frustrated anger come from behind her and the sound of footsteps walk past her. Ryan continued on his way pretending not to care but walking slower then usual as not to be to far away from her. Despite her mistrust of the supposed Officer, Sarah couldn't help but grin a bit. It was such a John Connor thing to do.

***

"So tell me about your family?" Sarah asked after taking swig of water from the canteen. It had been several hours since the big fight and both hadn't said much since. Ryan came back from behind a rock after telling her several moments before hand that he had to "shake the weasel".

Sarah didn't really trust him, but she might find out as little more about the man and what kind of back story he would give her.

"What do you care" Ryan said bitterly slinging the plasma rifle behind him. "I'm a machine, remember" Sarah gave him a glare

"Just trying to make nice" Sarah stated standing up and walking next to him. He turned his head toward her to which she gave him a small reassuring smile. Ryan sighed and turned his head forward to look ahead of him. There was silence for a while before he spoke.

"My old man is a … Officer in the Resistance same as me." He answered her as if choosing his words carefully.

"You're Mother, what's she?" Sarah asked in friendly tone. Ryan shot her a look of alarm

"What do you mean?"

"What does she do?" Sarah elaborated fixing him with a weird stare.

"Oh … uh … she's dead, she was a soldier and she was captured on a mission" he replied with a sad voice that made Sarah feel a twinge of guilt.

"I'm … sorry" Sarah said fighting the Sudden urge to pull him into an embrace.

"_He's not John, he might not even be human. So cut it out." _Sarah told herself as she lowered her head watching the ground.

"It's alright it was a while ago" Ryan smiled slightly as a way to reassure her that it was fine to talk about it.

"How did your father take it?" Sarah asked looking up with a maternal concern betraying her better judgment. Ryan however seemed to be lost in his own mind and didn't notice her tone.

"It nearly broke him .He became obsessed with the Metal _Monster_ that took her; we searched three years." Ryan said dazed as if lost in the memory. Sarah's heart felt like someone had smashed it with a hammer.

"_It nearly broke him" _the words devastated her in a way only mothers can be.

"Did you find this "Metal Monster"?" Sarah asked not aware of the concern in her voice.

"It found us…" Ryan paused as if to find courage to continue.

"My dad moved on and got married to a Beautiful doctor, her name was Kate she loved him. She made us forget the pain for a while. They we're even going to have a baby. It was several days before her due date when **It** came back. I … uh was away from home at the time when it attacked." Ryan cut it off at that not saying anything else. Sarah didn't need to hear anymore as she knew what came next. Sarah felt warm tears spill over her eye lids as she could only imagine her boy's pain.

Sarah at that moment believed Ryan story. She had no proof or any idea how he even existed but his tearing eyes as he thought about Cameron was enough proof that he was no Terminator.

"_It's my entire fault, I should have been there for him" _she looked broken as she fell behind Ryan a bit. Sarah felt the entire weight of her failure on top of her as Cameron's words replied over and over in her head "_Loneliness will be John's Life someday" _Her boy Suffered and is alone and there was nothing she could do.

"Shit!!"

Sarah was brought back to her sad reality as she heard Ryan cuss.

"What?" Sarah asked looking at a cliff they just reached.

"Town" Ryan said taking a knee which Sarah took suite.

The town was medium sized and surprisingly well intact. It had a strange Norman Rockwell feel to it that made Sarah uneasy, and from Ryan's look he was not too delighted with the feel either.

"I thought you said that this area was clear?" Sarah asked confused.

"Look, just because there aren't machines don't mean that there still isn't danger …Sarah." Ryan responded pulling out a map. Sarah watched him look over the map for a moment.

"Damn!" Ryan sighed putting away the map.

"We've got go through it don't we?" Sarah asked. Ryan nodded while looking out at the town. Sarah watched him as he seemed to be studying the town hard. The sound of wiring caught Sarah's attention as she turned quickly but saw nothing. From the corner of her eye she saw Ryan's right eye glow blue as he watched the town.

"_Jesus, he's a machine!" _Sarah stayed frozen a moment looking for a weapon. She spotted his plasma rifle he had laid on the ground between them. In one fluid motion Sarah delivered a kick to the back of Ryan's knees sending him to the ground. Rolling she grabbed the rifle and pointed it at him.

"What the hell are you doing!!?" Ryan yelled with a hand raised.

"You lied to me!! You're a machine." Sarah accused pointing the rifle at his head.

"What are you talking about!?" Ryan yelled rolling on his knees. Sarah backed away some giving her some room.

"Your eye it glowed blue, I saw it." Sarah growled

"Yeah, and what it's a prosthetic!?" Ryan looked at Sarah for a moment before a realization came over him. "Holy shit, no clothes, no scars, and clean. You're not from this time are you?" Ryan almost laughed if not for the gun.

"No, I'm not but you won't live long enough to tell anyone" Sarah threatened

"Look, you are in the middle of no where in a different time. Plus I would put a month's ration that you don't know how to fire that thing." Ryan rationalized with Sarah standing slowly. Sarah gave him an aggressive look backing a way slowly.

"Trust me, I'll figure it out" Sarah responded not taking her eyes off him. She slowly inched her way toward the shattered town.

"Look I'll explain everything to you if you'll just give me the damn gun!" Ryan explained walking toward Sarah slowly with both hands up in front of him.

"I'm through with your stories!" Sarah said ruthlessly squeezing the trigger. However nothing happened, she tried again with the same results. Ryan gave a sly smile before snatching the weapon out of her hand.

"It has to be cocked, genius" he snorted shouldering the weapon. However Sarah had a back up plan. Grabbing Ryan by the shoulders she delivered a blow to his manhood with her knee. Ryan dropped to the floor in pain while Sarah took off in a sprint for the town.

Ryan lied there a moment collecting his thoughts, and his testicles. The young man stood finally after a minute using a bolder for support.

"Great how am I going to explain this one to the old man? Hey dad good news you know how you and mom always wondered what happened to grams well good news I found her! But the bad news is well… she kicked me in the balls and ran away. Perfect" Ryan shook his head grabbing his gear before slowly making his way toward the town.

"I didn't sign up for this" he sighed

**Let's put it this way would he have **

**1.) showed concern for a basic tunnel rat by spooning with her to give body heat or given her extra clothing unless she was family?**

**2.) Told her about the painfull memories unless he knew who she was. **

**anyway yeah Cameron is missing.**

**Ryan's posthetics have a big and tragic twist to them as well.**


	5. Because of You

**Because of You**

Sarah Connor had no idea what to be more afraid of. The half machine that might be her Grandson, or the Thomas Kinkade wet dream of a town she was now wondering the streets of. From a distance she saw that the town was a bit rundown, but now wondering the through it she saw that this neat, homely, and perfect little town was disturbing her calm.

It had coble stone streets that where lined with trees with autumn leaves that were sprinkled all over the side walks that Sarah now journeyed carefully over. There where perfect Victorian style houses with white picket fences and green grass, Ahead of Sarah stood a white and grey chapel with a bronze bell. The whole look of the place made Sarah's skin crawl.

As Sarah made her way down the street she noticed that there was a row of buildings much like an old historic downtown shopping area. Just then Sarah heard footsteps quickly Sarah darted for the chapel jumping behind its gate she held her breath and waited till the foot steps where almost right next to her.

"And just when you thought that Skynet couldn't get any creepier, it build this." spoke the familiar voice of Ryan Phillips. Sarah peaked through the spaces trying to get a better look at the range.

"Look, I think we got on the wrong foot, okay. You clearly have trust issues and I should have been a little more sensitive to that." Ryan stated exasperated plopping down with his back to Sarah on the other side of the fence.

"Before you ask I saw you running from like a mile away." Ryan said with a sigh. "Look I have something to tell you about us and this might be hard to hear because there really is some disturbing stuff involved with genetics and sexual prefra…. "

THUMP!!

While Ryan was trying to make up with his long lost intermediate family member, Sarah had been quietly dislodging a blank from the fence and just before his confession Sarah had brought down all her fury and mistrust on the unsuspecting Resistance officer with one foul swing.

Not waiting to see if it brought him down or not Sarah made for the historic side of the fax town in a dead sprint.

"She's gotta stop hitting me." The young man groaned as he watched Sarah disappear into the center of town before blacking out.

***

Sarah ran a mile before ducking into of all places a pumpkin patch. Sarah looked around her a moment with complete confusion. She was in between two Victorian style buildings where someone or thing had placed a pumpkin patch covered by hay.

"_This place is really freaking me the hell out." _Sarah thought tracing her hand gently on a large pumpkin.

From a distance Sarah could have sworn she heard music. She sat up cautiously trying hard to hear it. Sure enough she heard the strange sound of 50's style Rockin Roll from far off. Sarah sat a moment pondering if she should go toward the music or find a way out of the Thomas Kinkade "nightmare".

"_Well I have no Idea where I am, or where I'm going. It couldn't hurt to see where the music is coming from. I just might get some help." _Sarah thought crouching before hastily moving from the pumpkin patch across the road to a row of old style Mom and Pop stores that lined the stone street.

Sarah walked slowly sidling the covered sidewalk as the music got louder. Sarah finally found the source of the music, an old malt shop down the street seemed to be alive with neon lights and 50's music blaring from the inside.

Sarah checked several minutes before moving down the street she approached the front. It was a typical golden oldies looking malt shop. Sarah looked through the glass window to find the place filled with people all of which were passed out. Sarah slowly opened the door.

It was dark on the inside with a disco ball lighting the Black and white checker board tile of the restaurant. The seemingly unconscious people inside where dirty and dressed in rags. Some had on military like jackets with patches, several had on the same red sash that she had seen on Ryan's beloved leather jacket.

As Sarah made her way inside a hand grabbed her foot she looked to see a grizzly looking man in fatigues call out to her quietly.

"Get the hell out of here ma'am, It's a trap save your self." Sarah knelt next to the man.

"What happened here?" Sarah asked

"Me and my squad we're captured in Mexico several months ago we're taken here it's a Skynet village they set you up here it's like a prison. Then one day …." The man began but was cut off by the starting of "Earth Angel".

That's when Sarah noticed the figure of a girl dressed in a tattered sleeveless silken wedding dress in front of a jubox. She swayed to the music back and forth her long soft brown hair swayed to and fro on her bare shoulders. Sarah stood up ignoring the Soldiers pleas to stop and walked toward the figure.

"This is such a lovely song; I really hope that John can get here soon, so we can dance to it." A familiar voice said to no one in general.

"Ca… Cameron?" Sarah called out to the girl. The Girl turned around to see who was there, and to Sarah's surprise there stood a tattered but still quite breath taking Cameron looking her straight in the eye.

"Sarah? OH woaw I didn't expect you here." Cameron said with a surprisingly warm and gracious smile. "John is going to flip out when he sees you, But in a good way." Cameron said excitedly.

"But what he won't like is **rude **party guests!" Cameron called out sternly eyeing the people. Slowly people began to rise to there feet reminding Sarah of Zombies and began slow dance with a partner. Cameron smiled and whisked past Sarah toward the counter grabbing a glass bottled soda with a straw, sipping the contents as she watched the people dance. Sarah looked puzzled as Cameron once again began to sway to the song.

"Cameron, what the hell is going on?" Sarah asked storming over to the female cyborg.

"Oh, John and I just got married and this is the reception." Cameron said dreamily. Sarah looked around a moment watching the tortured looking people dance, some how she doubted Cameron's claims.

"Cameron, where is John!" Sarah asked trying to ignore the scene in front off her.

"He was still at the church; I think Ryan needed a change." Cameron smiled proudly. "Oh Sarah you have to see what me and John have made, he's so perfect." Cameron gushed.

"Ryan? As in Captain Ryan Phillips, Tech-Com?" Sarah asked as if missing something.

"Ryan is three months old; he's not a soldier yet Sarah. He's a few years off from "camping trips" with Nana Sarah." Cameron laughed shaking her head. Something about the way she said it made Sarah shudder.

"Cameron… what Year is it?" Sarah asked with a sinking suspicion that there was something very wrong with her.

"December 12, 2010" Cameron smiled taking another sip. Sarah stood there a moment watching her.

"That's not the date." Sarah said in monotone. "Its 2029" Sarah finished.

"What, you're just joking?" Cameron laughed patting Sarah on the shoulder. "You can't fool me."

"Cameron Connor! This isn't a joke!" Sarah raised her voice in a very paternal way. Sarah was a bit surprised at her very maternal scolding of the glitchy terminator and the use of her own last name in the same sentence.

"Sarah stop yelling, you're making a scene." Cameron said quietly.

"These people don't care, they need medical attention." Sarah stated firmly. "I want answers as well!" Sarah added berating the cyborg. Cameron stared at her like a scolded child before an angry face replaced it.

"Why are you trying to ruin are special day? What will John think when he comes in and you're yelling like this?" Cameron questioned as she made her way toward the front of the diner weaving her way through the dancing captives. Sarah pursued her quickly right on her heels.

"John's not coming, your broken there's a wire knocked loose." Sarah addressed Cameron who was now staring at the empty streets outside.

"You're just jealous because John wants to start his life with me and not you anymore!" Cameron accused with tears welling in her eyes.

"You're malfunctioning, because John would never start a life with you!" Sarah commented harshly. After years of drilling and training her boy Sarah was not ready to believe that he would ever fall in love with a machine.

KRESH!!!

Sarah Jumped back defensively as an enraged Cameron put her fist through one of the windows.

NO! John loves me, I'm perfect, and we're perfect! I love him and he loves me!" Cameron screamed angrily. Sarah was truly frightened she had never seen a Cameron put up such emotional behavior since the day with the trucks on John's birthday.

"We share a bond …A child!" Cameron continued desperately as if trying to convince herself as much Sarah.

"Alright… alright, I'm sorry." Sarah said calmly trying to defuse the situation before it got physical. Cameron had a look of pure aggression on her face. Both shared a tense and loaded stare down.

"Uhhh…. Hey can I come through here or do I have to bust my own window?" a confused Voice called from the shattered window. Sarah turned and gave an exasperated sigh when she once again saw Ryan staring at her throwing his thumb behind him. She turned back to Cameron only to find that she had walked back toward the counter with a troubled look on her face.

"Look, you really need to stop hitting me. I mean seriously it getting old and it really hurts." Ryan commented clearly missing Cameron as she walked away. Sarah gave him a warning look as he walked toward her. He immediately put his hands up keeping her at arms length. He took a look around the place and the people dancing.

"We need to get out of here" he said immediately grabbing Sarah's waist, trying to drag her out.

"No! I want answers" Sarah said not budging. Ryan gave her a weird look from over her shoulder.

"From wh…." Ryan was about to ask when he got his answer.

"John?" Cameron called from her place on the counter. She slowly walked up to the two. Sarah pealed her way out of his grip as Cameron walking stopped in front of Ryan.

"I've been waiting for you a long time." Cameron said in a shaky and emotional voice with tears washing streaks through her slightly dirty face.

However Ryan was gave her a disturbed face which was slowly being replaced with pure unadulterated Hatred. Cameron searched his eyes for something as she pulled him into a loving embrace.

"John?" Cameron repeated pulling slightly on his leather Jacket

"ALLISON… YOUNG!" Ryan said with hatred staring Cameron in the eye.

"wha…?" Cameron was about to ask before Ryan's fist connected with her face sending Cameron backwards.

"ALLISON YOUNG" Ryan yelled again sending a kick to Cameron chest. She fell over her a table and Ryan advanced bending over and picking her up the front of the dress looking her straight in the eye.

"John… Please!" Cameron continued but it fell on death ears as Ryan through Cameron through another plate glass window and into the street.

Sarah watched in horror as Ryan stalked outside in pursuit.

Cameron stood up and looked the picture of sadness and desperate.

"I love you! Please stop" Cameron begged the advancing young man.

"You're a Liar!" Ryan said hitting Cameron in the face. "You killed her! You killed her in cold blood!" with every word he hit Cameron. "Then you did this to me!" Ryan yelled showing her his left hand which chrome was now showing threw scrapped knuckles.

"No! I…" Cameron started but was thrown down. Ryan pined her to the ground and unleashed inhuman barbaric like beating.

"It's because of you that he is the way he is, because of you she's gone, and because of you I'm alone in the world!" Ryan screamed slamming Cameron into the stone ground.

"YOU RUINED ARE LIVES!" he yelled with tears in his eyes.

"I'm … I'm sorry" a twitching Cameron said as Ryan Stopped his breath was heavy as looked at her and realized what he had done he shamefully removed himself off of her and walked out of breath toward the malt shop sitting down on the side walk he looked at his hands. His left had showed skin ripped away and you could see clearly the cybernetics. His Right was scrapped and was bleeding profusely.

Meanwhile Sarah who had watched the whole episode in shock with the rest of the crowd now walked toward Cameron in the middle of the street.

Cameron had tears streaming down her eyes and was twitching. "Kill me Sarah! Please, he hates me!" Cameron glitched out through twitches. Sarah knelt next to the body and nodded slowly reaching for the side of her head and pulled her chip out.

Sarah looked over the chip, and did something that for some reason she could not control. She placed it inside of her pocket. Sarah had the overwhelming urge to destroy it but for some reason she couldn't. It was as if it was an impossible thing for her brain to comprehend.

Sarah didn't dwell on this to long as she walked toward Ryan who looked as if he was holding something inside him that needed to be let out.

Sarah sat silently next him, shoulders and thighs touching. Ryan was shaking with bottled up emotion staring at his hands. Sarah looked at him and realized just how much like John he looked, and it was at that moment she realized that he was not remotely machine where it counts.

Sarah slowly wrapped herself around Ryan in a maternal hug. She felt with her heart the emotional barriers crumble between them and Ryan broke in her arms shaking and crying while Sarah shushed him in whispers trying her best to consul him.

It was familiar; she was in her element, and for awhile as she held him tightly.

It was as if she had a purpose again.

**Foot Notes **

**So the whole Cameron look is inspired by the Corpse Bride **

**Ryan has huge mommy issues that will be adressed next chapter including how Cameron can have kids. **

**The Whole delusional Cameron in the malt shop is a shout out to Summer Glau's awsome performance in the 4400 Episode "Daddy's Little Girl" 4x09.**

**Just like Trials I would pay attention to the little things in this chapter cause it all fits in to the story. **


	6. A Life Never Known

**I had a hard time with this one. I think I could never get things to flow just right. **

**But I hope it's not to complicated ;) **

**A Life Never Known **

"_Allison Young!?" _

"_Cameron Connor!?" _

_A teenage boy questioned running people as they tried to escape the embattled navel ship. The boy only sixteen had disobeyed orders that came straight from the leader of the world wide resistance and had boarded the vessel that to his knowledge held his mother captive. _

"_Allison young!!?" the young resistance soldier shouted over the crowd he was moving against, But no one stopped or acknowledged the name._

_The young fighter passed steel cage after steel cage freeing captives. But none knew or had heard of Cameron Connor or an Allison Young. _

_A sense of desperation took the young private as searched the crowd for a thirty year old woman with beautiful brown eyes and a picture perfect posture. _

_Suddenly the deck began to shake in a rhythm. Ryan turned quickly to see the source. _

"_Oh shit!" the teen cursed as a T-600 charged toward him in a full sprint (he was the only armed human in the large crowd) _

_He took off, observing the area. _

_There were several cages in rows along the wall with chains connected to them. _

_Going for higher ground Ryan jumped and climbed onto one of the empty cages in one smooth motion. Once on top Ryan hammered the 600 with several slugs from the battered stolen family shotgun, though a relic in its own right the weapon sent the terminator backwards. However all of it was shock value for the force of the blast did little to harm the Hulk. _

_Ryan looked at his surroundings and noticed a lever that connected to the chain system. Looking up he noticed that there was trap doors that lead to the hanger deck. Suddenly a plan formed in the young soldiers mind. _

_Unable to shake the Fighter from the cage, the 600 moved to pursue by climbing the cell as his enemy had. The Terminator grabbed a hold of the top and pushed it's self up on to the top. Standing at full height the machine sized up its young opponent. Ryan raked and fired another round from the dented shotgun. The 600 threw its head back from the blast before readjusting it back. The Terminator advanced menacingly on the young hero who looked like he was counting. _

_Then with in a step of its goal, Ryan did an acrobatic flip off the cage. Landing on his feet Ryan kicked the lever to the pulley system. The Terminator felt a thud before the cage barreled strait into the ceiling. _

_The Terminator's head flew from its crushed body landing on the floor in front of a smug Ryan. _

"_All made possible by three generations of ballerinas and Grams lucky shotgun." Ryan panted for a second before kissing the weapon. _

_A turn in Ryan stomach snapped his head toward a doorway were a familiar silhouette watched him. _

"…_mom? …MOM!" Ryan Called toward the silhouette, but the figure eased into the darkness and disappeared. _

"_Dammit, MOM! It's me, Ryan!" he yelled in pursuit down the long dark Corridor. _

*******

Ryan bolted into the up right position looking wildly around to find himself on a sleeping mat with a field of stars above him.

"She's not here." Sarah's voice called from behind him. Ryan turned his head to the side to find Sarah sitting on the mat just inches behind him. Ryan felt a twinge of embarrassment to find that he had been asleep with his head in her lap.

"…Who?" Ryan asked getting his bearings.

"Your mom…Cameron" Sarah pieced out not sure how to say it.

"You know?" Ryan said with a sigh.

"Hard to miss." Sarah responded. "And how long did you…?" Sarah asked stopping short.

"Almost immediately, I carried your picture for a very long time. Dad use to say it had magic in it." Ryan answered with a fond smile that made Sarah feel warm inside at the sentiment.

Ryan stared miserably at the surroundings. Sarah had placed them in the weird pumpkin patch with the mat near one of the prize pumpkins.

"It's called indoors, you know." Ryan said sarcastically gesturing toward the buildings. Sarah gave him an incredulous look.

"It's called, I didn't want to move you too far because of the blood loss, you know." Sarah shot back.

"You weren't wrong." Ryan looked at the tightly wrapped white bandage around his hand and fingers.

"I wasn't sure what to do with the other?" Sarah nodded to his left hand. Ryan looked to find left also bandaged.

"Will it…grow back?" Sarah asked staring at his left.

"The skin and meat?" Ryan clarified.

"Yeah."

"No, I think I other need to find a tissue press or a glove." Ryan said with a sigh flexing the cybernetic hand.

"How much is there? I mean cybernetics?" Sarah asked leaning into a pumpkin as a back rest.

"My left arm up to my elbow, and my right eye." Ryan answered wincing as he flexed his right fingers. "Speaking of Weird did you ever find out what all this is about?" Ryan asked opening his palm as to gesture to everything.

"They say that its Skynet built, they called it a …lobster tank?" Sarah finished with a shrug.

"Oohh…I see." Ryan said looking around understanding what she meant. Sarah gave him a "waiting on the answer" look. "Lobster tank is a place were prisoners live sort of like a …what's the old expression?" Ryan said lost in thought.

"Cattle pasture." Sarah finished bitterly.

"Yep, that's it." Ryan said with a sigh.

There was a silence that hung over the two as Sarah processed things.

As the silence past Sarah gave several thoughtful looks Ryan's way.

"You're wondering how a machine can have a baby." Ryan stated. "You're just thinking of a way how to ask?" Ryan finished with a smug smile.

Sarah glanced up at him with a smile of her own.

"I've seen Dad give me that look when I went out on my first mission as an enlisted soldier" Ryan said with a laugh.

"So…how?" Sarah started with a look of confusion.

"The TOK 715 is an advanced prototype its main application is infiltration, Long term infiltration. It's designed as a last resort almost like Skynet's secret weapon. Made to be John Connors mate and lover it will sit with him throughout the war and when the time is right … "Ryan explained.

"It's a sleeper then?" Sarah asked

"Yeah" Ryan shook his head.

"But what does that have to do…?" Sarah started

Part of the design is to make sure that there is no chance for detection during years of undercover assignment. So it's outfitted with certain features." Ryan hung on the last words trying to push across his point.

"Reproductive features, like eggs?" Sarah said shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yeah among other things…" Ryan finished finding the pumpkin across from Sarah and lounging against it.

"So your real mother is ….?" Sarah asked confused.

"A beautiful teenage girl named Allison Young who was slaughtered because of a time paradox." Ryan gritted angrily.

Sarah gave him a deeply sad and guilt ridden look.

"You're not the first Connor born from a paradox." Sarah said sorrowfully.

There was heavy silence again.

"Hey, there is a difference. Kyle loved you …more then you'll ever know, he gave his life for you without hesitation. Allison… had no Idea why they wanted her or why she was experimented on like some god damn animal." Ryan's voice was became growled like crushed gravel. "She never knew love or happiness or what it was like to have someone who loved her unconditionally. All she knew was pain, sorrow and a name…John Connor." Ryan grew silent.

"You said Cameron killed Allison that she did this to you." Sarah observed quietly staring at Ryan who was mastering his composer.

"It was a the TOK but it wasn't Mom, at least not my mother." Ryan sighed coming back to his senses.

***

_The lights were dimmed in the rusty and dank bawls of the decrepit Air craft carrier. _

_The sound of a stupidly brave young private Phillips's feet thudded quietly down the stairs to the rusting and dank smelling engine room of the rumbling ship._

_The sounds of screaming and gunfire echoed through the lower levels unnerved the teenager, compelling him to bring his outdated and stolen Remington shotgun into a ready position as he stepped off the case and into the engine room. _

_A moving object by a Massive engine turbine long neglected caught the corner of his puerperal causing him to point the scraped and dented gun in its general direction._

"_Mom?" the boy called amongst the shrieking sound of ancient metal tearing above. _

_Ryan pressed on without fear till he reached the middle of the room surrounded by engine turbines. _

"_It's stalking you, Connor" a thick Scottish accent called to the young soldier in the dark. _

"_I knew you where behind this Weaver." Ryan called unsurprised with pure hatred laden in his voice. _

"_I did not plan this but I do find it amusing that you got yourself in such a position." Weaver's voice echoed through the rusted metallic setting. _

"_Where is she!?" Ryan demanded angrily continuing to pace his way deeper into the engine room. _

"_Your mother is a lot closer then you think, in fact I might watch out for her." Weaver said in monotone._

"_Why don't you come out and fight me you Terminator Bitch!" Ryan called stopping._

"_I'd watch who's calling who a bitch. Your Father was not skilled enough to stop me from taking your mother what makes you think your feeble fighting skills are any more of a match for me." Weaver lectured coldly. with that Ryan heard a whoosh and a slithering sound. He stayed quiet listening for several beets before continuing. _

_Ryan left the engine room and into another dark corridor. The twisting of metal caused Ryan to place his back to the wall and examine the floor and ceiling, but there was no bump or thick surface under his motorcycle boots. No liquid metal. _

_The sound of a scraping chair in one of the rooms caught Ryan's attention quickly he stormed toward the door. _

_He felt his adrenaline rush as a familiar voice called out "you already have." _

_Ryan was about to open the door when it flew off its hinges knocking him over. _

_Ryan shook his head racking the shotgun and pointing it at the figure standing over him. _

_A girl not over the age of seventeen looked over him with cold indifference tilting her head to the side. _

"_Mom?" Ryan said with disbelief. _

_The Terminators eyes glew Red. _

"_No" _

***

"Where's the Endo?" Ryan asked fighting the memory away.

"Back at the malt shop." Sarah answered. Ryan stood up gathering the gear and slipping on his faithful leather jacket lying in Sarah's lap, and began to walk back toward the malt shop Sarah followed.

Both walked side by side in silence making there way down the street. Every once in a while Sarah check to see if he was okay. Ryan said nothing gave no hint of emotion, straight posture, deliberate steps. Sarah wouldn't say it but he looked more like his mother in that moment then he would ever know.

In the middle of the street was a mini campsite where those captured by the machines where huddled by a make shift fire. When Ryan and Sarah appeared they all stood at attention.

"Colonel" one of the soldiers addressed.

"No Captain" Ryan said giving the soldier a puzzled look.

"Is Sergeant Washington still on guard duty?" Sarah asked a young woman in fatigues cutting in.

"Yes ma'am" the girl answered quickly.

"Good at ease then." Sarah said sternly they went back to sitting by the fire. Ryan gave a humored look.

"Colonel?" Ryan asked

"It's the jacket, officer's stripes." Sarah pointed to the sleeves. "Why is there a penalty for impersonating an officer?" Sarah asked as they walked away

"Not if your better then the real one." Ryan smiled as they entered the malt shop.

The shop was dark with only the jubox light on in the empty restaurant.

There on the bar counter laid a disconnected Cameron her eyes closed. Just like Sarah had left her.

Sarah had never thought of it but in the dim light of the empty malt shop and the way Cameron looked in the dress it reminded her of Sleeping Beauty.

Sarah watched as Ryan's hand traced the tattered silk of her skirt. He shook his head in disgust. "It's her wedding dress." Ryan said with venom.

"Her what?" Sarah asked.

"When mom was kidnapped her thing were taken. Her most personal things, The Purple leather jacket, and this." Ryan said lifting the skirt slightly.

"Then this is …Cameron then?" Sarah asked walking a little closer.

"No, it's not. Someone must have programmed this one with a certain memory." Ryan shook his head as he picked at sequence on the abdomen of the dress lost in thought.

"How do you know?" Sarah asked fixing her emerald eyes with a glare. Just then one of the soldiers appeared in the front.

"Cause I have her right eye and left arm." Ryan said in passing meeting the soldier.

Sarah turned back to Cameron looking at her motionless form.

She pondered what John was like on his wedding day. If he thought about what it meant marrying something not human or if he didn't even care.

"Don't worry sergeant I take it tonight." Ryan said out loud. The sergeant nodded handing him back his plasma rifle and walked away to the campsite.

"You'll take what?" Sarah asked with her back toward him.

"Guard duty by the river tonight." Ryan sighed checking the plasma rifle.

"I guess I come with you." Sarah said turning around to face him.

"Why?" Ryan snorted grabbing some supplies off one of the tables.

"Do I have anywhere else to be?" Sarah gestured slightly with her hands.

"Yeah, how bout somewhere safe. You're still a mission priority." Ryan said stuffing the last of the messenger bag with supplies. Sarah walked up to him taking the bag out of his hand.

"No one is ever safe." Sarah said directly before walking out the door.

Ryan looked over at Cameron's lifeless form.

"I guess your right." Ryan said sadly before walking after Sarah.

**Like I said in the beginning I hope this on didn't lose anyone **

**If you have questions about the chapter I'll pm you or addresses it in the next chapter. **

**Foot Notes **

**Ryan in the flash backs I wrote as an arrogant guy he sort of has the Captain Kirk attitude of there is no fight I can't win (Teenagers). His fearlessness is sort of uncharacteristic of a Connor and I like to think that the arrogance comes from Allison's side of the family.**

**So now we know who the Metal monster is and who took Cameron but why…stay tuned. **

**The town still has some significance but more on that later. **


	7. Old Enemies

**Alright! So I'm going to try and update this one once a week (don't laugh) :)**

**This one is also a tribute to a Lonesome Dove ... sort of **

**Old Enemies**

The full moon had a soft blue hue that radiated the desolate, flat wasteland and cliffs bellow. In the middle of the barren climate ran a thin yet powerful flowing river. It glided with a gentle and peaceful sloshing.

In the soft light two occupants sat quietly observing the landscape, enjoying the still quiet and solitude of the night.

"So…where were you the last twenty years and while you're at it can you give the name of your plastic surgeon?" Ryan said in deadpan sitting on top of a large boulder. Sarah smiled softly as she sat at the base of the large rock, using it as a back support.

"Not sure, one second I was in prison the next…." Sarah stopped mid sentence as flashes of lying half naked on a cold examine table, and the frightening sallow brown eyes of doctor Kogen haunted her.

"The Next?" Ryan pushed nonchalantly as he brought binoculars to his eyes. Sarah blinked and looked up at him conflicted whither to tell him or not about the strange and suspicious event that lead to her appearance in the future.

"_He's my boy …well my blood either way. But if John raised him like a Connor then I'll be under suspicion. No scars, no memory of the last twenty years or of a time Jump. If I were him I wouldn't trust me." _Sarah sighed sadly looking at his very hawk like observation of the flat land ahead.

"I woke up naked in a field." Sarah finished staring down at the running water only several feet away.

"That's all your going to give me?" Ryan asked with a small annoyed tone.

"That's all I can give you." Sarah answered with a shrug shaking her head.

"So what's the theory?" Ryan asked coyly like someone who was playing a game.

"Theory?" Sarah asked, not liking where her "Grandchild" was taking this.

"TDE?" Ryan's almost mocking tone reminded Sarah of the many "shrinks" that came to talk to her at Pescadero just to see her, like she was some circus attraction or rare zoo animal.

"Isn't that the only explanation?" Sarah answered with slight aggression.

"I've seen others." Ryan said darkly loosing his arrogant tone. Sarah wasn't sure but she thought she heard him mutter a name "_Marcus"_.

'What others?" Sarah asked with a more angry infliction in her voice, feeling like she was being silently accused of something. Ryan put the binoculars to his eyes again avoiding her glare.

"Don't worry about it." Ryan said quietly trying to end the conversation.

"No! You're going to tell me right now!" Sarah demanded right on his heels.

"Drop it!" Ryan returned the demand

"You listen to me! If you're accusing me of something, you better just say it!" Sarah said viciously with frustration and anger oozing with every word.

"I'm not accusing you of anything, NOW DROP IT!" Ryan yelled.

Suddenly there was a quiet silence as both realized they almost took it to far, they mastered there anger and catching there breath.

After several moments Ryan spoke.

"Mom and dad were right… you are a pain in the ass." Ryan breathed a chuckle trying to bridge the emotional gap that just formed. Sarah couldn't help but form a small smile at the comment knowing what he was trying to do.

"Look, I'm sorry…" Sarah started knowing that she had lost her composer over something minor.

"Don't be…If I woke up in this crap hole with no knowledge of where I was, Then find out that my pride and joy started a family with a cyborg while I was missing from his life… don't apologize … cause I get it." Ryan offered with an understanding look.

"Thank you" Sarah was grateful for the understanding and somewhat misty eyed and made her feel assured that she had somebody to help her through this very strange chapter in her already weird life.

It was quiet again for a while before anything was said.

"You know your not any saint yourself." Sarah attempted at a playful jab trying to help with the bridge construction.

"You're not wrong…but at least I know where I get it from." Ryan jabbed back with a smile.

***

It was a little past five and Sarah was feeling a little tired as she stared out at the now bleak and uninteresting no mans land, However she was never one for complaining or doing a half ass job. So she waited patiently every once in a while throwing a pebble or stone in the water.

She rubbed her eyes for a moment when a subtle and familiar tune rung out into the quiet night.

Sarah looked up to find Ryan playing a slow tune on a beat up looking harmonica.

"Moondance?" Sarah asked with a smile. Ryan winked and nodded before shutting his eyes as he continued.

Sarah listened to the song, as the notes mixed with the serenity of the running river created a peaceful feeling in Sarah that helped invoke Memories of the night at Tiki motel, and before she knew it she was singing with it.

"_Well it a marvelous night for a Moondance_

_With the stars up above in your eyes _

_A fantabulous night to make romance_

_Neath the cover of October skies."_

Ryan continued with the song as Sarah stopped being taken over by the memories.

She was eighteen again trying to go to sleep. The radio is on in the back ground, she watches Kyle listen intently as Moondance plays in the quiet room. It was at that moment seeing his child like wonder of the simplicity of the jazz song that Sarah knew, she knew she loved him.

Those lyrics would ever be burned her memory forever.

Sarah was so lost in her memories that she didn't hear Ryan stop playing.

"Who taught you that?" Sarah asked coming back to her senses while looking at the moons reflection in the water.

"The harmonica? …Mom." He answered with a small nostalgic sigh.

"Cameron taught you how to play the harmonica?" Sarah fixed him with a weird glare.

"Learning a musical Instrument helps a Childs brain development." Ryan stated in his best Cameron. Both laughed at the dead on impression.

Eventually the two stopped and there was several beats of silence.

"You miss her?" Sarah asked quietly

"Do I miss her constant reminders of safety or the smothering that was phrased as motherly codling? … everyday." He started with a chuckle but finished sadly.

"What were they like?" Sarah asked interested.

"Dad was uptight, but he was always willing to compromise and wasn't above having fun when mom was around…even during the war. Mom …was a hard girl to be around as a kid. She was cold and distant. She was never really good with emotional situations, but she always did enough…just enough to let you know she cared." Ryan trailed off sadly smiling at some distant childhood memory.

"Is that how you knew that machine at the Diner wasn't Cameron?" Sarah asked

"In my entire life I never saw mom act that way around anyone. Even when I was being an arrogant trouble maker, mom never yelled or raised a hand to me, though god knows I was asking for it." Ryan scratched his neck with a scoff.

"And John, what's he like, these days anyway?" Sarah asked with a maternal look of concern.

"I haven't seen him in five years." Ryan shrugged with laced bitterness. "Though when mom was taken it changed him. He became driven to near obsession. He was paranoid, intense, and broody. Every thing became do or die and training became life and death. Know your exits, never hesitate, when all else fails … you run and don't look back." Ryan listed off the sayings like they were programmed.

Sarah listened to Ryan describe John with a growing pain in her heart. John Connor, the hopeful, brave, and noble child she raised and loved was dead and was replaced by ….her.

Sarah wasn't sure what to say to Ryan or what she would say to John when she saw him again.

Ryan jumped off the boulder onto the ground keeping his shoulders square to the cliffs.

"Hand me my gun belt." Ryan said distractedly removing his leather jacket and dropping it on the supplies.

"Why, is there something out there?" Sarah asked standing slightly alarmed. Sarah heard a motor from afar. Looking over to the cliffs Sarah spotted a dark figure on what looked like a motorcycle come closer.

"The belt, please." Ryan called calmly. Sarah bent over picking it up and handing it to him.

Ryan snapped on the utility/gun belt on pulling out the .45 Colt sidearm checking the magazine.

"I need you to go and hide behind those rocks over there." Ryan said calmly placing the pistol back in its holster.

"Forget it" Sarah countered shaking her head.

"Look, you got to let me handle this, just trust me." Ryan placed a hand on Sarah's waist.

Sarah and Ryan shared a small moment before Sarah conceded.

Sarah quickly made her way to the rock formation keeping out of sight. After several minutes she watched a vintage Harley stop several yards from the river.

The Rider was tall and pale with long greasy black hair. He was clad in a tight leather vest and pants his pale upper body was covered in tattoos and tally marks that were carved into his chest. The man's bone structure was very primal and his eyes were dark and predator like.

The rider dismounted the bike and walked to the river crossing were Ryan sat causally on a rock near the river.

"I came here for the water." The man announced to Ryan with some distain. His voice sounded growled and demonic with a hint of Slavic in it.

"By all means, free country." Ryan gestured to the water. The rider sneered at him walking back to his motorcycle. He returned with a canteen and filled it then drank the murky water which more then half ending up trickling on his bare chest. All the while holding a lever action shotgun and squinting at Ryan.

"I remember you from the old days…Connor" the man wiped his mouth with his forearm.

"I know you to Steele." Ryan nodded.

"Where's your Friend …Reese." The man gave a quick look around. The mention of the name caused Sarah's heart to almost stop.

"He's not here but I can call him for you." Ryan said mockingly. Steele sneered again at the young mans response.

"It's my bad luck that I found you out here alone, Cause if I kill you then I'll have to wait for your old mans Brown eyed cheerleader to come find me, so I can kill her too." Steele said with disappointment.

"Well, if you think you can take me, there are some really good spots to sit over there" Ryan stated arrogantly nudging his head toward the other bank.

"Forget it; I'm not going to waste my time on a little mutt like you or your old man's Cheerleader whore." Steele scoffed at the young soldier's statement mounting his bike.

"I give that bike several more miles then I hope you brought your walking shoes." Ryan called smugly observing the dated and rusted vehicle.

"You ever get close enough again Connor, I'm going to cut that tongue out of your smart mouth and send it to your father!" Steele yelled over the engine.

"Do whatever you feel is necessary!" Ryan called causing Steele to drive away angrily.

Sarah watched the exchange on edge feeling the biting tension that seemed to zap the oxygen from her lungs.

She watched the man disappear into the dawn before coming out of her hiding place.

Ryan walked briskly back to there small campsite gathering things hurriedly.

"That was touch and go for a second." Ryan said shaking heavily. Sarah could see that the adrenalin was running through his body. Sarah walked over and paced a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Ryan let out a deep breath letting the feeling drain.

"Who was that?" Sarah asked looking in the direction the stranger disappeared in.

"Olvieski Stelolivich, we call him Steel." Ryan said glancing in the same direction as Sarah.

"He's …" Sarah struggled to find words to describe the almost inhuman creature.

"A monster" Ryan finished for her. "Steel is a butchering rapist who has as much respect for human life as Skynet. Except unlike Skynet that bastard enjoys torture and murder." Ryan gritted grabbing the last of the things. He lightly rubbed Sarah's hand that was still on his shoulder as a way to thank her as well as to remove it. Sarah removed the hand with a small awkward smile.

"He mentioned John and Cameron?" Sarah asked moving the conversation as a way to cut out the strange maternal habit that came from petting and showing affection for your child or in her case her child's child.

"Back in the thick of the war Steel and his gang of thugs would raid human settlements Killing, raping, and stealing anything. Mom and Dad went after him more then once, Hell Kyle and I almost died of dehydration chasing him through Nevada. We just could never catch him, he has always been better at traveling without water then us." Ryan slung his plasma rifle over his shoulder. Sarah felt very emotional Imagining Kyle in agony.

"You think he's coming back?" She was almost hopeful at the question hoping she could get her shot at the Murderer.

"Probably, and most likely he won't be alone either." Ryan answered.

***

Sarah and Ryan returned to the town around sunrise. Most of the soldiers where asleep but a few still sat up in a guarding position.

"Up!" Ryan yelled causing all the soldiers to jump at attention. "Anyone here a scout or Scavenger?" Ryan asked the group.

"I was a Scout, I can track." A young male raised his hand he looked about fourteen large blue eyes and sandy blond hair.

"Okay then your with me." Ryan nodded at the blond boy.

"And where are we going?" Sarah asked as the boy made his way toward the two.

"We aren't going anywhere, me and the kid are going to go track Steel. He may be looking to circle around and attack us." Ryan explained.

"And what am I going to do?" Sarah asked gesturing with her hand.

"Sit tight and wait …" Ryan addressed her with a serious look.

"I'm not going to let you go out there alone." Sarah said grabbing his arm.

"I've been a Soldier for Seven years now; I think I know what I'm doing. Plus your still a mission priority so…you need to stay" Ryan said brushing her hand off him. "Everyone be on guard Steel is out there, and it wouldn't surprise me if he came through here with a gang!" he addressed the group of people.

Ryan began to walk away leaving Sarah standing there with a disapproving face when Ryan stopped and tossed Sarah the plasma rifle. She caught it and gave him a puzzled face.

"Just like a M16. Slap, slide and pull" Ryan smirked at the inside knowledge he had on her. Sarah looked at him then back at the weapon with a small smile.

"New Toy?" Sarah asked knowing that he knew she liked to disassemble and assemble firearms.

"Merry Christmas" Ryan winked a very John Connor wink that made Sarah feel a very primal maternal instinct.

"Hey!" Sarah called to him. Ryan stopped and looked back at her.

Sarah stared trying to find the right words for a person she had only met two days ago. She felt conflicted about what to say as the soldier and the mother clashed inside her as well as a still lingering disbelief and mistrust she had for the officer.

"You don't need this?" Sarah balked raising the rifle in her hand. Ryan gave a small laugh knowing that that wasn't what she wanted to say.

"No… there is a weapons cache outside of town I'll get some supplies at the drop." Ryan answered without a push. He gave one last meaningful look her way before he and the younger soldier walked away. Sarah wanted to call out to him but her breath got caught in her throat. She sighed looking at the foreign weapon in her hands.

"_Be safe…" _Sarah thought what she wanted to tell him.

***

Sarah sat on a stool as she wiped the chrome barrel of the Plasma rifle with a bar towel as an assortment of dissembled parts of a plasma rifle lay in front of her on the bar of the diner. Her efficient hands lightly brushed the part with sweeps with the towel.

Sarah put down the barrel and gave a look to the still motion less form of the fax Cameron. Sarah had placed John's old jacket over her like a blanket. The way Cameron looked with jacket caused Sarah to question something in her mind.

"_I wonder how many times John had covered her with this jacket like I just have."_

Sarah imagined it clearly John walking in to the room with Cameron sitting on a white rocking chair holding a baby in her arms just like her dreams. She would smile at up at John and he would smile down at her removing the fur lined jacket and drape it over her as he kneels next to the proud mommy staring at the sleeping bundle in her arms.

Sarah pondered Cameron for several seconds.

"_I never trusted her… but she had made John happy when I wasn't there and she raised a child with him. Maybe I should try trusting John instead of her?" _Sarah thought pulling the Terminators chip out of her fatigue pocket. She examined it carefully. Ryan was right, on her further inspection the chip looked like a normal run of the mill T-888 chip. Not the sleek and smaller chip Sarah was use to.

She scoffed and placed it on the counter taking the butt of the rifle Sarah raised it over the chip. Ready to bring it down with all her strength …but she couldn't.

She tried again but once again her body froze in place. She strained her mind trying to slam the piece of the weapon down on the chip. But to no avail.

Sarah picked up the chip and tried to drop it to the floor put instead her hand gripped it protectively.

Suddenly as if being placed into a daze she moved to toward Cameron's body. Once over the body Sarah moved her hand with the chip in it toward the port hole.

As all of Sarah tried to stop herself she slid the chip into the hole, there was a wiring noise.

But before she could see what happened the barrel of a Lever action shotgun struck a strong and powerful blow on the side of her head.

**The plot thickens!!**

**I Hope you guys who read the story review and tell me what you like or... some constructive criticism is also welcome.**


	8. Bait

**WARNING: These next three Chapters I've posted are rated M **

**So please if you read something you don't like …you have been warned! **

**Bait**

A puddle of still and muddy water never looked so appealing to Sarah Connor in her entire life. She dropped knee first into the cool liquid splashing it on her dry and parched face. The feeling seemed to bring her back to life as she splashed it over and over again on her beautiful features.

Suddenly a soft hand grabbed the back of her neck with an iron like grip and tugged her backwards into the puddle.

"Slow Down beautiful, if I didn't know any better I'd think that you were trying to drown yourself." Steel growled with a chuckle standing in the ankle deep puddle. Sarah breathed angrily as the metal restraints bit into her wrists.

"You know …you're going to fetch me a lot good stuff tonight. The boys are so use to girls they'll almost pay anything to be with a real woman." Steel said gripping Sarah's chin and looking her over with a predatoral spark of lust in his eyes. He moved his hand over sweeping her slick locks of hair out of her face. Sarah gave him a death glare and spat in his face.

Sarah fully expected to be struck in the face for such an action, but Steel merely laughed and kicked some water at her before stepping back on dry land.

Sarah got back on her knees and gave a good look around.

The land was flat and desolate but in the distance she saw canyon like hills. She traced the small stream that was providing the water for the puddle calculating that they were still close to the river. Sarah brushed way the mist in the puddle before she cupped the water in her hands sipping the disgusting tasting brown liquid as she quietly formed a plan in her head as she observed the landscape.

"You know what I do to Pretty girls that try to escape?" Steel called interrupting Sarah's planning. "I take them into the desert and tie them to a pole, and then I make a lot of noise and watch the Sand Scarab patrol machines tear them apart." Sarah turned to find him sitting back to a rock grinning evilly as if he was reading her mind. Sarah turned her head back down staring at the water bellow before clearing and sipping again. She stayed in the puddle several more minutes in silence.

"…I hope that Connor mutt hurries up and gets here already. cause I'm board." Steel yelled into the wasteland stretching.

"Ryan... he won't come." Sarah said quietly having flashes of her deed in the diner and plugging the machines chip back in.

"_If he's smart he would write me off as a traitor …maybe I am? Maybe my sole purpose here is to do Skynet's dirty work? If that's the case then the farther way I am the safer he is." _Sarah thought guiltily gliding her hand through the water gently.

"Oh…he'll come, if not for you then for me, but he's coming." Steel lifted his greasy ponytail so the air could hit the back of his neck, tapping the shotgun against his thigh. "Plus he owes me a few…after what I did when I found his father's little angel wondering alone in the desert ….mmmm Kate." Steel shook his head as if having a fond memory of something. His tone and voice affliction could have been mistaken for a conversation about ones favorite food dish.

"She was a pale red head with blue soulful eyes, soft and feminine. The way she would scream …it did things for me that I can't even describe, but sadly she stopped screaming after a while and it became less enjoyable then before, so I gutted her. Too bad, but she was fun while she lasted. Now she'll live forever in my hall of fame." Steel opened his leather vest and showed Sarah one of the thin tally lines just bellow his heart. Sarah said nothing staring at the whole host of tally marks on his chest like she was going to be sick. "Each one represents a woman that I find to be fun or …unique." Steel looked down at Sarah with a flash of primal ferocity. Sarah looked away staring back out to the No-Mans- Land.

"I think when we're through …your mark might go on my heart. Connor's women are always …fun, and you look like you can take a lot more then Katherine could." Steel said quietly as if savoring the secret he just exposed.

"I don't…know what you're talking about?" Sarah said denying his claim with a fake sense of confusion.

"Oh please I've seen your face on that damn picture that John Connor carried with him for years. There is also a reason that the kid hid you from me. Your Connor's newest squeeze or maybe you're an old one and the cheerleader and Katie didn't know about you? Either way you're important enough to him to keep that picture of yours." Steel said in a gratifying tone standing up and grabbing something from the motorcycle.

"_If he thinks I'm John's lover then he might think he can ransom me…It might buy me time." _

"John…John and I, we're in love and he would give anything for me…I can be your meal ticket!" Sarah pleaded in a scared hopeless voice trying to give the impression that she had been found out and had everything to lose.

The sound of sloshing water caught Sarah's attention as someone lock an arm around her neck and pull her out of the water. Sarah struggled trying to break free when she felt a sharp prick in her neck. She watched as Steel injected something into her with a syringe.

"You… just … made… things … interesting." Steel growled in her ear tenderly kissing her neck with each word. Sarah felt sick as the world began to spin then every thing went black.

*******

"_He'll come to you broken and weak he'll need your touch and embrace like he once did. Once he surrenders to you and he's holding on to you for dear life…that's when you know what your purpose is." _

"No!!" Sarah screamed her eyes snapping open.

A hand quickly placed it's self on her open mouth. Sarah tried to shake it off but another hand clamped on the other trying to keep it steady.

"Shh…please I'm not going to hurt you, but you need to be quiet!" a voice whispered to Sarah.

She turned to see a figure of a teenage girl not a day older then seventeen looking at her with a look of panic and fear. Sarah looked into her brown eyes and nodded. The girl nodded back removing her hands over her mouth. Sarah stared up to see that it was the middle of the afternoon from the looks of the blue sky above her.

Sarah had a hard time sitting up, everything was numb and sensitive. However the girl noticing her trouble and helped her up gently with care. Sitting up Sarah got a better look at the girl in front of her.

She had tanned skin with long curled brunet hair. Her eyes were brown and she had a round beautiful face. Sarah could tell she had some Hispanic blood in her from her looks. She was wearing a faded weather worn blue silken dress with spaghetti straps and her face had a liberal amount of make up that made her look like a cross between a hooker and a Clown. Sarah gave her attire a strange look.

"I'm sorry … umm …he made me put you in that because he didn't want anyone else touching you." The girl apologized with a hint of shame. Sarah shook her head not understanding what she was talking about. Then the wind kicked up and Sarah felt a draft between her legs. Sarah looked down seeing that she was wearing the almost same dress except in cream instead of blue.

"Why am I wearing this?" Sarah asked angrily pulling on the dress noticing that she still had the iron binders on her wrist.

"They make you wear this so that they can fetch a better price" a familiar voice called from a small distance. Sarah leaned back for a better look.

She saw another teen girl with long ratty blond hair, smudged fair skinned complexioned and blue eyes. Sarah thought she might have a heart attack.

"Riley…Riley Dawson?" Sarah asked taken back by the girl's appearance.

"Do I know you…?" Riley asked frightened that a stranger knew her name.

"You don't know who I am?" Sarah asked

"Sorry…" Riley shook her head still doing her impression of a scared mouse.

The confused conversation was cut short by yelling from behind Sarah.

"We'll give two weeks of food and a bottle of whisky for a night!" a white trash accent echoed through the small rock canyon they were camped in.

"We'll pay twice as much …. Plus you already offered to buy that little half breed whore!" a deep female voice yelled back.

Sarah turned around to see a fair amount of people sitting around on a blanket. They were separated into two groups of people with Steel sitting in the middle separating them.

The first group to his left had five filthy men. The one who sat in front of the others had unwashed dirty blond hair with a decade of dirt and grease on his frail and lanky physic. His companions had the same disgusting look about them. Sarah had flashes of "deliverance" just by looking at them.

The other group to the left had a different look to them. They were all Mexican and all looked like they belonged to a gang. Some where bald others had a buzz cuts. Many had tattoos and all wore matching green bandannas. In front of them sat a heavy set woman in a tank top with a large tattoo of an eagle with a snake in it's talons on her arm. Her hair was long and ratty and she seemed to be missing several teeth but due to the decay of the others Sarah could guess that the teeth fell out with out a punch being thrown.

BANG

The squabbling stopped and all eyes turned toward Steel who had a smoking shotgun pointed in the air.

"I'll strike up a deal with you … I'll let you take both girls for half there worth and … you all can have a go with the woman." Steel said pointing the gun at Sarah and her small group.

"What's the catch?" said the dirty man.

"There's a kid tracking me, a Tech-Com Officer, I want you to kill him. If you do that then I'll keep my word." Steel said gesturing toward the south. "And the person who brings me his head, gets to screw her twice…anywhere they want to put it." Steel gave a sketchy smirk nudging his head toward Sarah. All eyes turned toward Sarah who gave Steel a seething death glare.

"You hear that Elsa!" Steel asked the large Mexican woman. She nodded with a sly grin eyeing Sarah hungrily. She then turned to her crew speaking to them in Spanish. However one of them seemed to be disagreeing and arguing back with the large woman.

"What's his problem?" Steel asked annoyed.

"He doesn't want a taste he wants to buy the woman." Elsa Explained.

BANG

In an instant the man arguing had a hole blown through him. Everyone looked shocked before staring at Steel.

"Anyone else want out of the deal?" Steel asked cocking the shotgun.

No one said a word

"Good, now I suggest you get sober" Steel said snatching a bottle from one of the dirty men that was about to take a drink. Steel took a swig and walked away from both groups. He gave a long almost paranoid look to the cliffs above. His action gave Sarah some small satisfaction. She turned back to the girls that looked like they were going to die of terror.

"_I'm running out of time." _Sarah thought examining her handcuffs.


	9. Interlude: Ryan

**Interlude: Ryan**

Since the fallout of Judgment Day the weather of the post apocalyptic world seemed to go through severe changes. One day it would be hot the next bitterly cold. December 14, 2029 was no different as a small flurry of little snow flakes fell from the late afternoon sky on to the desert floor.

In the quiet snow fall a gutted Motor Terminator carried a rider on its back as it off roaded on the flat and unforgiving landscape. The rider's eye wired at an object ahead, he stopped the machine and dismounted it. Walking several yards in front of the bike he kneeled taking some mud imprinted on the sand in his leather clad left hand. His right eye glew a soft blue as he analyzed it.

"Algerian sand and traces of hay …" Ryan Connor (Phillips) said removing the grey Bandanna over his mouth and nose looking at the clump of mud in his cybernetic hand. He sighed and looked toward the cliffs ahead. Suddenly something jumped into his mind that he wished never had.

_A group of Tech-Com soldiers quietly moved in the shadows of the fading Nevada evening. Weapons raised and on edge the tired fighters felt a rush of adrenaline as they neared the illumination of there targets campfire. _

"_This is it, Phillips and Sayles to the right, me and Kyle to the left." Derek Reese whispered to the team that once numbered twelve now only four. The three nodded and separated. _

_A fifteen year old Ryan had a slight smile despite the grueling six month chase that had been the death of almost seventy five percent of those that started out with him. Despite this fact Ryan Connor felt an arrogance and swagger that came from the knowledge that he was about to bring in the legendary killer Steel and save his Step mother Kate in one foul swoop. He could only imagine the look on his Fathers face when he returned home with her alive and well. He quietly cocked the worn Remington shotgun and waited for Sergeant Reese's Signal. _

_A small cricket chirp echoed quietly through the area. It was on. _

_Ryan was first to turn into the line of fire, he moved in the shadows Just like his mother had taught him. He had his finger on the trigger ready to blow away the butcher only to find that there was no one there. Ryan came crashing down from his high as the entire campsite was empty. He stood frozen in a weary anguish as the others moved in to find the same thing. _

"_Dammit!" Derek kicked some sand on the roaring fire. It flickered a bit before returning to full strength again. _

"_This Fire looks about thirty minuets old …He still might be close" Kyle said to Derek as Ryan kneeled examining the ground._

"_Someone was dragged from here." Ryan called to the two brothers pointing to the ground. Both exchanged looks before walking over to where the new Recruit was kneeling. _

"_They where here…and Steel dragged them …" Ryan followed the trail of paved sand around the fire. The Reese Boys followed the young teen looking at the ground. _

_Ryan was headed for the rocks when he bumped into Sayles. _

"_Hey Sayles move man…I'm following a tra…" Ryan stopped talking and realized that the soldier was staring at something in horror. _

_On the ground near a flat rock formation several small rivers of blood flowed in small streams across its surface. Ryan followed the streams to the source. _

_Something died in Ryan Phillips Connor's heart that day. As he saw the naked and mutilated body of Katherine Brewster Connor hung from one of the cliffs. Above her Written in blood was a phrase that would never have the same meaning to the young man as it once did. _

_**NO FATE**_

"_That Godless son of bitch!!" Derek snarled angrily as the sound of dry wrenching could be heard as Kyle looked away trying to hold in the vomit._

_Ryan tiredly removed his beanie and stared heartbrokenly not sure what to do next. He wasn't sure how things could have gone so wrong, or how Kate ended up in the hands of Steel from being kidnapped by Weaver._

_Sad of heart, starved, and worn out the only child of John and Cameron Connor thought one thing…Life wasn't suppose to be this hard. _

"_We'll cut her down… Kyle said placing a hand on Ryan's shoulder recovering from his episode. Kyle alone knew who Ryan was and what Kate meant to him and John. _

"_Not yet." Ryan said coming to a soul shattering realization, feeling a cold wind cut through his weatherworn overcoat and thread bare uniform. He tried to hold back tears but his next sentence was cracked and hard to stomach. _

"_We need to fan out…and find the Baby…they…they should be buried together."_

"I should have shot that murderer when I had the chance!" Ryan said crushing the sand in his Black gloved hand, tears running slowly down his face.

**Past is the past, Keep Moving.**

The words scrolled across the HUD that he brought up so he could analyze the soil.

Ryan sighed wiping the tears away with the sleeve of his Leather Jacket being brought back to reality by the "Ghost" in his implants. Ryan was never sure where the advice came from or who it was that was giving it but sometimes it was a great comforter.

Ryan saw the remains of a wheel imprint trailing back toward the river.

Ryan gave a determined sigh watching the white haze come from his mouth.

"_I won't let it happen again. Mom and Kate maybe dead, but I won't let her end up the same." _Ryan thought getting back to his feet.

He punched his bandaged fist into his glove three times before pulling up the bandanna and walking back toward the cycle.

*******

The sun slowly sank over the Canyon like hills as the Terminator Cycle stopped again. Ryan looked at the Canyons trying to figure out the best way to enter them undetected.

He silently took out the canteen from his rucksack untwisting the cap and was reaching for the bandanna when several loud cracks caught his attention with several bullets hitting near him. One of said bullets hit his tin canteen sending him spinning off the Machine. He hit the Snow kissed ground with a thud.

Ryan looked up to see a Dozen Motorcycles approaching him from the cliffs. The riders were whooping and shouting insults as well as firing wildly in his direction.

"Damn!" Ryan breathed getting to his feet. He rushed to the Reprogrammed Cycle remounting it. He kicked it into high gear directing the 180 degree turn with his right foot.

He took off like a shot as the Bullets whizzed by his head and on the ground near him. Feeling like they where gaining on him Ryan Drew his .45 Sidearm and fired several shot behind him (he was pretty sure he got that "hicks" hand.).

As Ryan put some distance between him and the Posse chasing him he began to look for somewhere to confront them. He checked for any sort of obstruction in the flat landscape.

He found what he was looking for, fifty yards in front of him was a trench like crater. Ryan jumped the Terminator into the ditch. Dismounting Ryan reached for the customized AR15 Rifle he brought with him. The rifle had a militaristic scope and grenade launcher under the barrel. He settled into a sniping position in the trench.

Ryan finally got a good look at his attackers, they where of two types of people. The white trash variety or those of the Mexican gang banger persuasion (though he wasn't sure if that big one on the Harley was a man or just a really ugly woman.). All of which seemed to be enjoying themselves greatly.

Switching to automatic to conserve bullets he aimed for the lead gang member. He pulled the trigger sending the rider to the ground. The leads Motorcycle tripped up several riders causing a small pile up.

CRACK CRACK CRACK

Ryan fired into the disoriented riders dropping one after another.

"Get back out of range before he kills everyone!!" the Wo-Man called toward the others. All those able to ride turned back except for one. Ryan held his fire staring down the Mexican man who sat several yards away revving his engine.

The man had crazy brown eyes and was heaving his chest. The Rider tore his shirt open revealing a large tattooed skull that covered his entire chest and half of his stomach.

Ryan smiled dropping the AR15 to the ground and climbed out of the trench. The action only antagonized the Mexican as the Bandanna faced Soldiers openly mocked him.

The man screamed like he was possessed and charged his bike forward. He fired a shot at the Young Officer grazing his cheek. Yet Ryan didn't flinch at the injury, this only infuriated the man who dropped his rifle and drew his knife.

Then nonchalantly Ryan drew his pistol and shot the enraged gang member in the head sending him to snow covered ground and the bike tumbling to the side. Ryan holstered the .45 and dropped back into the trench.

**That was illogically stupid…**

"So sue me, he wanted a straight up duel, he got one." Ryan chuckled checking the Magazine on the Rifle.

*******

Ryan sat patiently as another snow flurry floated slowly to the ground. Ryan saw that the light of the day was starting to fade.

"_When it's dark I'll sneak up on them." _ Ryan thought reloading his weapons.

CRACK

Ryan felt a bullet whiz right by his head and hit the Terminator. Ryan looked up to see what that was all about. From a distance he saw a long fifty caliber rifle being operated by one of the hicks who was belly down on the ground.

CRACK

"Son of a…" Ryan ducked as the bullet just missed him. Ryan heard the robust Laughter from the group of killers sitting around the sniper.

"Dirty Bastards…" Ryan Muttered grabbing his rifle, he fired several shots at the group. Each shot landed out of range of the thugs who seemed to find his attempts to be one of the funniest things in the world.

The hick behind the rifle got up and walked several yards in front of the rest of the group, and began to dance a drunken two step in attempt to mock Ryan. This Caused the others to laugh like they where going to urinate themselves.

Ryan shot a goofy look the mans way when a HUD appeared and involuntarily measured the distance between him and the dancing man. Ryan smirked disappearing behind the trench.

"Maybe you would like a better view of tonight's moon." The dirty man yelled dropping his trousers and sticking his bare butt in the direction of the officer.

"Hey Austin you think he can smell it from here." Elsa Laughed slapping one of the dirty men on the shoulder that was tearing up.

Suddenly a shot rang out and a sickening thud echoed through the air.

Austin Began to scream in pain. All the laughter ceased as they rushed to him.

"That Son of a bitch shot me in the ass!!!" The dirty man yelled in agony.

"Sorry, It was Just to big to miss!!" the young soldier yelled across the field.

*******

Ryan lounged with his back to the trench wall when he heard some commotion. Peeking over the trench wall he saw that the Posse where driving away toward the Canyon.

"There other really stupid …or there leading me to a trap." Ryan pondered for a second looking up to the mostly darkened sky.

"Yep, there just stupid." Ryan decided out loud standing up. He brushed the snow off his closed jacket and black fatigues. He shook his brown motorcycle boots before grabbing his rucksack and holstering his .45.

Ryan climbed out of the Trench shouldering his Rifle. He decided to leave the Motor Terminator as it was riddled by bullets and looked all but ate up.

He walked in the pitch black for some yards until he stopped in front of an injured gang member.

"Steel sent you?" Ryan asked turning over the dirty man on his back with his foot. The man had a bullet hole in side and looked to be half conscience. Ryan stepped on the wound causing the man to groan in intense pain.

"Did Steel send you!!?" Ryan yelled. The man nodded slowly but clearly.

"Where is he camped!!?" Ryan put more pressure on the man's wound.

"By…by the River … in the Canyon." The man winced with a thick trailer park accent.

"There's a woman, is she alive!" Ryan asked

"Yes! Steel…p promised us a Fuck in exchange for killing you." The man breathed. Ryan stepped off the wound and started to walk away.

"Please…I hurt bad …Kill me." The man called reaching a hand out toward Ryan.

"I'm not wasting a bullet on a low life like you." Ryan said coldly walking toward the fallen mans vehicle. Seeing that it was still usable Ryan mounted it and looked at the nearby cliffs.

"_That butchering Son of bitch doesn't even realize it yet, but he just punched his one way ticket to Hell tonight." _


	10. Keep Moving

**Keep Moving**

Sarah discreetly rubbed the old rusted chain connecting her iron handcuffs against a rock.

"What's your name?" the young half Hispanic girl asked quietly sitting in front of her as they sat under a tree to shelter themselves from the snow.

"…Sarah." Sarah grunted rubbing harder on the rock.

"Alexandra, but people call me Alex." The girl smiled slightly with a nod. She watched Sarah a little bit then looked back to make sure that Steel wasn't near.

"How were you taken?" Sarah asked as she took a small break.

"I, my brothers, and two of my best friends were on our way to a Resistance base near here so we can join up and … we were ambushed." The girl's voice broke as her eyes watered a little.

"I'm sorry." Sarah offered looking down.

"No, I'm sorry …I should be stronger then this." The girl breathed. "How…how were you taken?" Alex asked.

"I was waiting for …someone close to me to return from a mission, and I was hit from behind." Sarah paused then returned to her grinding.

"Mission, are you part of the Resistance?" Alex asked with an almost excited and hopeful voice.

Sarah was about to answer no when she thought about her life since New Mexico in 1999.

"Yes" Sarah nodded. The girl beamed for a moment.

"Yeah I could tell. You may have Flawless skin, but your eyes scream Soldier." Alex smirked. Sarah grinned slightly at the girl's optimism.

A rush of cold wind caught both females by surprise causing them to shiver as there "Slave" outfits did almost nothing to shield them from the sudden cold. From afar Sarah spotted Riley sitting in the middle of the open huddled.

"What about her?" Sarah motioned to Riley

"Not sure … she doesn't talk much and she's always jumpy." Alex shrugged looking Riley's way.

Sarah knew that the youth was from the future and was part of a plan made by Derek's girlfriend (or whore according to her) to get John to destroy Cameron. Sarah was never a fan of Cameron, but she was absolutely against putting her baby boy in such a stressful and emotionally crippling situation. Sarah had thought she had gotten the lay of the land when it came to the young girl who seemed to butt her head into the already dangerous world that her and her family where in.

Sarah mentally paused for a moment as the words "her family" echoed through her mind. For many years it had always been her and John. Now when she thought of the family it included Derek and Cameron. It was strange cause for all the mistrust she had for both of them she found herself strongly effected by there memories.

Cameron was slowly making her way into a very special place in Sarah's heart as she thought of everything Ryan had told her. She made John happy, and by all accounts kept her boy human through some very hard times.

However Derek was always confusing for her. On one hand he was an ass who rode both her and John, on the other he would do anything for John….and her. She always felt something warm and special when she would watch how Derek would fight and bicker with Charlie over his intentions with her. Derek even shared a bed with her several times toward the final months of his life. They never made love but he was there to hold her and make sure that she was alright and didn't get up in the middle of the night and do something stupid. So when she found out about Jesse and there relationship it felt as if an ice cold dagger went through her chest and into her heart. She hated him for what he almost did to John…and what he did to her heart.

BANG BANG

Sarah jumped at the sound of echoing gunfire she looked around but saw nothing.

"These Canyons echo sounds from miles away." Steel said from behind Sarah and Alex. The girl screamed in surprise. Steel smiled and walked past them into the snow covered gravel. He listened to the fading sound of the echoing gunfire.

"Looks like Elsa and Austin found your Cur." Steel snickered kicking some gravel at Sarah and Alex. A fire of maternal anger grew to bond fire proportions as she heard the sounds of the firearms fade.

Sarah charged forward at Steel who had his back toward her. She however missed him at the last second as he moved out of the way. Sarah skidded on the cold gravel. She struggled to get to her feet but only to feel a sludge hammer blow to her jaw that sent her on her back. A dazed Sarah spit out blood feeling her entire right side of her face go numb.

"You do have some fight in you!" Steel laughed out loud grabbing Sarah by the hair and dragging her back toward the tree. Steel grabbed her by the neck and threw her into the trunk. Feeling like the air escaped her lounges; she gasped trying to get ready for round two when she felt someone throw themselves on top of her. Sarah was about to struggle but the body felt frail and small.

"No, don't… don't hurt her anymore!! She learned her lesson, she won't do it again!!" Alex begged as tried to protect Sarah from anymore blows that might have landed her way. Sarah felt Alex's body jolt several times and then the sound of Steel growl a snicker before he spit. Sarah heard crunching of gravel as Steel walked away. She sat up slowly to find Alex wiping away some blood off her mouth with her forearm. She noticed large sticky saliva on her neck where Steel had spit on her.

"I didn't need your help!" Sarah hissed angrily spiting out some more blood. Alex looked at Sarah with a hurt expression.

"I only did what you would do for me." She replied hopefully. Sarah glared at her with some resigned anger from the fight. However her expression softened after a moment and she motioned for the girl to come closer.

Sarah helped Alex clean of the spit on her neck.

"Damn it!!" Steel yelled.

Sarah looked up to see nothing out of the ordinary till she noticed Riley was gone.

She smiled.

***

The echoes of gunfire rose and fell again later that evening but now that night fell it was silent and it made Sarah worried sick.

She had taken to huddling closely to Alex as she quietly planned, keeping the girl close to her. Alex reminded her of Lauren Fields a lot. The girl seemed to look up to Sarah greatly as well as having an optimistic attitude despite the situation they both were in.

"_Just before dawn I should be able to strangle that son of a bitch if I can get the girls help." _Sarah thought watching Steel as he swigged whiskey and looked toward the hills with that same paranoid expression from earlier.

"John's going to come for me and when he does …your dead!" Sarah called to Steel. At this threat Steel laughed.

"Connor … I doubt it. I'm the nightmare he'll never wake up from." Steel laughed standing up and walking till he stood over Sarah.

"You see John Connor sees me as an enigma. There is no human that can catch me and yet He'll never send a Machine after me, cause then that would make him…just like Skynet." Steel whispered into Sarah's ear from behind. He smiled evilly as his hands made there way down her chest and underneath the faded silk.

Sarah breath sputtered as she felt cold hands touch her breasts.

"I've raped woman, killed children, and stole supplies and food at will, and here's the best part. Your lover and his nubile bride had never even got a good look at me." Steel boasted massaging and tweaking Sarah's breasts slowly. "So no I don't think the Messiah will forgo the pleasure of killing me." Steel let a low growled chuckle kissing Sarah's neck.

Sarah was about to throw up when the sound of Motorcycle engines caught there attention.

From one of the canyon passes a gang of silhouettes appeared and stopped several yards from the campfire. None of those that returned where whooping or laughing like before. All were quiet and reserved like someone who had just lost a fight to a smaller person.

"Where's my head?" Steel asked ceasing his fondling of Sarah. No one answered him each looking at one another as if silently pointing fingers. "Is he at least dead?" Steel stood up and stormed toward them looking Elsa in the eye.

"He was tougher then we expected, and it was getting dark." Elsa explained with a shrugged. Steel looked at the group as a whole.

"So let me get this straight, He killed five of you and you just left him there so he can track you here. Is that right?" Steel paced in front of them. No one said anything as they watched him.

"I'll tell you what; you can have the dark haired girl Elsa." Steel said with silent rage played across his face turning toward his bag. All the Mexican gang members grinned and Elsa nudged one of the men.

"Why are you giving the half breed to them!!" Austin yelled limping after Steel.

"Because I want them to tear her in two, that way tomorrow they can go out there and ride down that damn Cheerleader's spawn with a little pride and dignity." Steel said dangerously tossing the bottle at Elsa.

"Damn it I was there, I can kill him!" Austin whined to Steel who mounted the motorcycle.

"You better be able too and if he comes here you better be quick about it." Steel warned out loud kicking the engine on. "One more thing, when I get back there better not be one drop of cum anywhere near the woman or I'll feed your balls to the coyotes." Steel yelled before driving off.

***

Sarah's plans got complicated as she sat and watched the low lives get drunk and rowdy for the next several hours.

Alex sat next to Sarah trembling as several gang members would eye her and whisper amongst themselves.

However Sarah wasn't panicking, in fact she was confident that thing were in her favor.

"_The idiots are going to be drunk soon, and I almost have this chain broke." _She grinned slightly as she could feel the chain link breaking. She eyed where each gang member was, then she mentally marked where each armed person was. She was in the middle of sizing up those she would go after first when the attention was shifted to them.

"Man I'm hungry!!" Elsa slurred out loud staring at Alex. The group laughed drunkenly with lust in there eyes.

"What's on the menu tonight?" Austin asked cackling.

"I feel like a little bit of Mexican…" Elsa said standing up. Alex began to tremble and scoot away from Sarah.

Sarah worked diligently on the chain feeling that she was very close. She looked up to see the seven remaining gang members approach Alex methodically like a hungry pack of wolfs.

"She looks sweet tasting." Elsa said drunkenly reaching for Alex's waist.

CRACK CRACK CRACK

Elsa body was riddled with bullets and fell to the ground. The rest of the gang tried to run but was cut down one by one.

Sarah felt the chain finally brake with a metallic snap. Quickly Sarah crawled to Alex who looked shaken.

"Run!" Sarah yelled jumping to her feet grabbing the girls forearm and pulled her as both sprinted away from the massacre into the large boulder and rock field around the camp.

***

Sarah and Alex walked quietly in the dark using the rocks for cover.

"Sarah we have to go back…we'll freeze out here." Alex shivered.

"No, we don't know who that was or what they want." Sarah hissed keeping an eye on the area.

After several seconds Sarah motioned Alex to follow as they moved along in the field of boulders.

Sarah silently sidled one of the large rocks. She looked behind it finding nothing.

The soft sound of crunching caused Sarah to snatch Alex into an embrace from behind and take the girl to the ground.

Both were dead silent as a shadowed figure walked by them. Sarah motioned Alex to stay. She silently began to stalk the figure from behind stepping behind the male silhouette.

A great rage built in Sarah as she had flashes of Steel's filthy hands and lips over her body.

"_I'm going to kill him!" _

Sarah slapped a hand on the shadowed figured shoulder feeling cold leather under her hand as she was about to strike the middle of his back.

The strangers hand immediately grabbed her wrist and lifted it in the air and twisted the arm over his head and swinging her in front of him.

Sarah stumbled several steps and threw a kick which was slap blocked. The stranger stiff armed her bare chest sending her backwards. Sarah recovered moving into a boxing stance while the figure stood in a more martial arts one.

Sarah threw the first punch which her opponent juked his head away from. The figure returned a punch that Sarah blocked and countered, landing a blow against his Jaw sending the shadow staggering backward.

Not wanting to give him a chance Sarah threw a kick which the stranger ducked under. The stranger followed it up with a chop which Sarah blocked at the point but in the process she left her self open to which an almost inhuman blow was struck to her abdomen.

As Sarah reeled the Shadow snatch her neck and blocking arm and Judo flip her to the ground.

Blood rushed to her ears and instincts took over as her opponent loomed over her. Sarah grabbed the cold leather gloved hand on her smooth throat and twisted her waist using her feet to flip her adversary on his back she rolled with the move pining her bare foot on his chest.

"Hey…Sarah it's me!" a familiar voice called out as she reached for a rock to beat him with. Sarah paused looking at the man pinned underneath her.

"…Ryan?" Sarah breathed out feeling the adrenalin course through her veins.

"Get off me." Ryan breathed out with a relived chuckle. Sarah let out a sigh of content stepping off him and offering a hand which he took.

Once he was up Ryan grabbed Sarah's chin and turned her face from side to side examining it for injuries. Satisfied Ryan let her go and shared a small moment with her in which he sorted a sigh shaking his head at her before pulling her into a heart felt embrace. She was a bit shocked at the sudden act as it was a rare thing for someone to hug Sarah Connor, but after a beat she retuned the embrace feeling relived to be found.

The embrace lasted only moments before both let go.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asked rubbing Sarah's arms noticing that she was shivering.

"Fine… you?" Sarah asked.

"Relived …and a bit tired." Ryan answered with a small chuckle. Sarah smiled at the comment before she noticed something missing.

"Alex, you can come out!" Sarah called to the rock. There was no reply. "Alex it's okay!" Sarah tried again but once again no reply. Sarah walked toward the rock. "Alex you don't have too…" Sarah started to say when she noticed that the girl wasn't there.

"Something the matter?" Ryan asked coming behind her.

"There was a girl here her name was Alex she …" Sarah trailed off looking around.

"She may have run off." Ryan concluded looking at the tracks left on the ground.

"We need to go look for her." Sarah gave Ryan a serious look.

"Out of the question, it's to cold right now. You might catch ammonia." Ryan shook his head.

"So will she if she stays out here!" Sarah argued.

"Look we'll start camp here tonight. Maybe she'll see the fire and come over here." Ryan reasoned. Sarah looked out over the rocky terrain then back at Ryan. She conceded with a nod and helped start a camp.

*******

Sarah sat back against a rock wrapped in a blanket with her feet close but safely in front of the fire.

Ryan sat on the other side of the fire. His jacket collar did up as he cradled his rifle shivering slightly.

"Why the hell are you over there?" Sarah called over to him.

"This is me respecting your freaking trust issues." Ryan shivered out with a frown.

"Get over here!" Sarah glared gesturing to him aggressively to come. Ryan shifted uncomfortably before walking over to her and sitting next to her. Sarah tossed him a look and scooted over to him pulling him close and wrapping part of the army blanket around him. Both sat in silence as the warmth began return to both.

"How did you know I was taken?" Sarah asked breaking the silence.

"Simple, you were the only body I couldn't find when I got back to camp." Ryan said bitterly. Sarah nodded staring at the fire.

"Steel killed them." Sarah sighed.

"No…machine got lose." Ryan scoffed.

Sarah's stomach dropped out from under her as guilt seeped into the very fiber of her being.

"You catch her…it?" Sarah corrected. Ryan shook his head.

"There was more important business to attend to." Ryan nudged her with his shoulder. Sarah felt as if someone had hung a weight around her neck after Ryan's statement.

Sarah looked at her hands remembering how it felt when she put the chip in, that involuntary movement. Like someone else was in charge of her body and they were pulling her on strings like a puppet.

Sarah wanted nothing more at that moment then to run away. Run into the night, away from Ryan, scared that she might strangle him in his sleep.

However something curious was fighting that urge, a gut feeling that she needed to stay close to him and follow his lead. Something inside her was whispering from the back of her brain that he was leading her to where she had to go.

"_He's leading me to John …if there's someone who can help me it's John." _Sarah thought deciding to go with her gut.

"Love the new look. It says…I do birthday parties and street corners." Ryan humored looking at her heavy make up as he silently worked off the iron clamps on Sarah's wrists. Sarah grudgingly elbowed him in the ribs.

***

The next morning Sarah and Ryan set out from the camp. However it didn't take them long to find Alex….

In the open beyond the rock field laid her lifeless naked body. She had a frozen look of pain and horror on her face. On her bare belly words were brutally carved.

**Till Next Time Connor**

Sarah dropped to her knees and looked over the body feeling the death crush the life out of her.

"Son of bitch must have been watching us all night." Ryan gritted looking at the once beautiful face.

"She had a family; she…wanted to join the resistance." Sarah said dazed shaking her head as she brushed the hair out of Alex's eyes.

"I'm sorry." Ryan placed a hand on her shoulder.

"If you plan to go after him, I want in." Sarah said angrily looking up.

"No, He's better supplied then me… I guess we'll just have to let him go for now." Ryan sighed looking at the barren land.

"I'd really hate to do that." Sarah closed the girl's blank eyes.

"I know." Ryan took a knee next to Sarah.

"How can you kill someone …just for fun?" Sarah asked eye's brimming with tears.

"… I don't try to understand why people like Steel and his gang do what they do…I just try to stop them." Ryan shrugged. "I killed most of those low lives last night, with the hope that I saved many more people from ending up like this poor girl."

"He's still out there though." Sarah shook her head.

"I swear on my life that if I ever run across him again…I'll kill him for you…and her." Ryan said looking at Alex sadly. A tear ran down Sarah's cheek.

"Come on … we need to go." Ryan said clearing his throat of emotion.

"We should bury her." Sarah said in monotone.

"Leave her lie." Ryan shook his head.

Sarah felt a rush anger at his comment, but let it pass knowing that they might still be followed.

"Come on." Ryan smoothed some of her long waved hair gently.

"_Keep moving." _

Sarah gave one last look at the girl before standing with Ryan's help.

Both continued on there way.


	11. Officers Call

**I feel this story is like the guy that tries to lead a slow motivational clap and no one joined in, but he's still clapping five minutes later to be passive aggressive. LOL**

**I want to dedicate this chapter to Fig-Aruna who has kept me somewhat motivated to keep this story going with her Essay length reviews and follow ups (Love them) **

**So thanks girly :) **

**Officers Call**

The journey through the wasteland was mostly quiet with the exception of Ryan offering Sarah some water.

During the afternoon when the temperature rose substantially, Ryan carried her on his back knowing that the hot soil would burn the skin off Sarah's bare feet.

"How do you get use to it?" Sarah asked hugging Ryan's neck.

"Use to what?" Ryan replied readjusting Sarah.

"The war …killing all those thugs." Sarah clarified.

"I was raised and trained in places like this … so war is all I've really ever known." Ryan shrugged. "After everything I've seen, killing just becomes a fact of life and you learn to live with it." Ryan explained.

"I'm sure Cameron was an interesting teacher." Sarah smiled slightly at the prospect of the killing machine singing the ABC's.

"You have no idea. When I was four I told mom I was scared that there was a Terminator in our closet, being a stickler for safety she emptied a clip into the closet then told me to go to sleep." Ryan chuckled

"Sounds about right." Sarah commented draping her arms over his shoulders. "Did you know?" Sarah asked after a moment of silence.

"That Mom was a machine… no. Dad use to tell me that Mom was the way she was because of the trauma of coming from the future. But I guess if I was smart enough I probably would figure something was up, but when you're a kid you don't really question fairy tale love story stuff like your mom coming from the future to save your dad." Ryan shrugged.

"I know what you mean." Sarah empathized with thoughts of Kyle and John.

Several hours passed as the two conversed until they reached the end of the sandy wasteland and onto a hill covered plain of burnt over and dry grass.

Ryan set Sarah down carefully, her feet made a small crunch as it landed on the grass. He then walked a several yards away from Sarah looking out at the view in front of them. A wiring noise caught Sarah's attention making her look at him catching a Blue hue from the side of his face. Though she more then less trusted him it still made her feel nervous when he used Cameron's eye.

"We should be able to find the garrison somewhere around here." He said with a tired sigh.

"Need a break?" Sarah asked.

"No, I'll rest when get to a safe zone." Ryan called.

"No one's ever safe." Sarah said seriously.

"So I've been told." Ryan frowned taking the rucksack off her.

***

There trek through the hills was more then uncomfortable for Sarah as the arid environment seemed to make her silk slip more unbearable then before.

They traveled for several more hours till they reached a Resistance check point.

"Who goes there?" an old shaggy looking soldier with a cockney accent asked sitting in a small watchtower like structure.

"Ryan C. Phillips Captain 112th Tech-Com serial number 122107" Ryan called to the guard on the hill.

"If you're a Captain then where's your uniform?" the old soldier pointed to his fatigue.

"The 112th is in North Africa we didn't have uniforms we used arm bands you Asshole!" Ryan swore at the man pulling out his Jacket from the rucksack and pointing to the thick red sash. The man climbed down and walked toward them. Ryan tossed him the jacket the man examined it before handing it back.

"What about her?" the scruffy man nodded his head at Sarah giving her attire an odd and lustful look.

"She was a prisoner, now she's not." Ryan said annoyed with the man.

"How come she doesn't have a code." The man pointed to his wrist.

"Who said she was a Skynet prisoner?" Ryan growled.

"Sorry sir I meant no offense I'm on guard duty so I'm supposed to ask questions like that, there are bandits abroad you know." The old man said putting his hand in front of him.

"We know!" Both Ryan and Sarah said at once.

"Can we go?" Ryan sighed after an awkward moment.

"Sure … the Garrison is that way." The man pointed behind him. "I'll have my partner escort you. Elliot!" the man called to the tower. Another soldier poked his head out, this time a baby faced black man in a wife beater. "Take the Captain and his tunnel rat to base." The guard yelled. Elliot saluted and started down the ladder.

Sarah closed her hand in a fist at the man calling her a rat but said nothing.

"I'd check the attitude Corporal and remember who you're talking too." Ryan said hotly not liking the cockney man's treatment of his close family member.

"Aye sir." The man stood at attention.

"Carry on." Ryan nodded to Elliot who began to lead them. Sarah gave a smug smile to the old man who seemed to mutter something under his breath.

***

The Garrison wasn't what Sarah expected really.

From what Kyle and Derek had told her about the future she expected there to be a small sewer hole and everything to be underground.

But instead the garrison looked like less then a normal military insulation. It had a large bunker and two concrete building at half football field's length away from each other. There were several large tents scattered in between the buildings.

Both Sarah and Ryan followed the Private into the base. There were groups of soldiers sitting around or being exercised in drills.

Sarah had flashbacks of the first time she wore her varsity Cheerleading outfit in high school as she walked past groups of staring people.

Finally after several moments of navigating through tents and being uncomfortably stared at they reached the main bunker.

"Halt, no civilians aloud." A large and broad man said emotionlessly standing in front of the door.

"There not civilians, this Captain Phillips 112th." Elliot explained.

"Confirm serial code." The large man turned toward Ryan.

"122107" Ryan replied. The man took a second to process.

"You are permitted to enter." The guard stepped aside letting both men pass. Sarah followed closely but the guard snatched her arm.

"Confirm rank and serial code." The muscular man said in monotone. Sarah immediately tried to pull out of his grip but to no avail. She looked into his eyes and saw that they were blank.

"Let her go canner, she's with me." Ryan sighed

"_It's metal!!" _Sarah felt a slow dread come over her as she was unable to break out of its continued grip.

"She is not permitted to enter here." The Terminator responded snapping its head toward Ryan. Sarah's heart started to pump faster and her veins felt like they were on fire as the panic and fear of being at a Terminators mercy came over her.

"I gave you an order!" Ryan raised his voice as he could see Sarah start to panic slightly.

"I'm not programmed to follow your orders." The machine stated.

"No but your programmed to follow mine." A proper English accented voice called from inside. "So let her go."

The Terminator released Sarah's arm immediately and went back to standing at attention. She stared at it for several moments before walking through the door.

"You alright?" Ryan asked. Sarah steadied her breathing before nodding her head. Ryan rubbed a friendly hand on her bare arm before walking further in the room.

The inside of the bunker had tables of people working at stations of electrical equipment from old CV radios to sleek looking futuristic computers that Sarah was sure that "her" John would have had a field day with if he was here.

"Sorry about that, but with the infiltrators and the upcoming drive …you can't be too careful." A clean uniformed English man greeted them. He had a clean shaven mouse like face and a black Berea that covered curly blond hair.

"Captain Smyth, commander of the garrison." The man shook Ryan's hand.

"Captain Phillips 112th" Ryan greeted.

"Oh right, the chap they put in charge of that Angel operation. How did it go by the way?" the man seemed a bit pompous and had an air of superiority.

"I'm sure you already know the answer." Ryan sneered at the man. Smyth walked further into the bunker motioning for them to follow.

"Actually on the contrary, Command lost contact with your strike team during the fight." The man said sitting behind a desk in the back of the room.

"What do you mean? I called out for several extractions during and after the battle, no one ever came." Ryan shook his head.

"Well I don't know who you where talking to ole boy, but it wasn't Command." The Captain stretched and placed his feet on the desk.

"I just had a conversation with Colonel Williams several days ago, she gave me coordinates to … a lobster tank." Ryan trailed off then sighed agitatedly.

"While your on the subject you also might think about why they chose a 1st lieutenant in a obscure regiment on the frontier to take command of an off the books mission." The Englishmen was like a cat playing with a string.

Sarah felt her stomach do a nasty flip as Ryan shot her a small accusatory look.

"I assume your painted lass is a survivor?" the man eyed Sarah suspiciously.

"Yeah …this is 2nd lieutenant Baum." Ryan lied catching Sarah off guard.

"If she's an officer then where did she get her commission?" The man seemed to be intrigued.

"Battle of Casablanca, led an assault in the third distract and junked a Skynet staging area." Ryan was stalwart in his speech.

"Her serial number?" The Smyth prodded.

"112th is on the frontier Captain, it's made up of natives and Caravan drifters. You think that recruits have serial numbers?"

"Touché" he said with a courteous nod. "Your dress is most curious lieutenant." The man said looking Sarah over.

"I was captured by bandits …they wanted to sell me." Sarah stepped into the conversation.

"I'm sure they mourn the loss." The man winked at her. She wasn't sure if she should feel offended or complemented.

"We need a transport to Home Plate." Ryan cut in.

"I'm sorry to put a damper on your request ole chap but every available officer is to wait here till further notice. I believe they wanted "all hands on deck"." Smyth air quoted.

"I need to talk to someone at base then." Ryan motioned to the radio equipment.

"I can't let you do that, it's for campaign use only. However you're in jolly good luck because General Barnes will be here with the 132nd tomorrow and he's planning an officer's call." The Captain said with sarcastic exuberance.

"Is something big going down?" Ryan asked with the name Barnes catching his ear.

"I really have no details, only which this outpost is going to be used as some sort of staging point for a large scale assault." Smyth sat up straight. "Well… till then your welcome to the shower stalls here. I'll have someone bring Lieutenant Baum a uniform." Smyth gestured to the door.

"Thanks." Ryan motioned Sarah toward the door.

"Before you go, can you be a good gentlemen and refresh my memory, but didn't one Sergeant Phillips win a Commendation of Valor for retaking the third district in Casablanca." Captain Smyth called toward them with a suspicious look.

"I'll have to think on it." Ryan said with a Cameron like ghost of a smile before walking out the door.

***

The shower stalls where tall and made of wood with a shower head and pull wire. There was enough privacy to cover the body but you could still see the shoulders and legs.

Sarah stepped in and closed the door and undressed. She slung the silk slip over the door and pulled the wire. The cold water pouring over her face and hair caused her to moan at the cool feeling that washed over her body.

"I could have gone my entire life with out hearing you do that." Ryan said walking up to the stall. Sarah flashed him an irritated look.

"Here… I'll put the clothes by the door." Ryan said placing a mound of clothes in a heap near the stall. "I bet you'll thank me for this." Ryan tossed her a square item wrapped in paper.

"What is it?" Sarah asked.

"Soap." Ryan smiled. Sarah unwrapped the paper only to be hit with a strong fresh smell.

"That's strong." Sarah cringed.

"Hey it's soap for a post thermal nuclear war. That little bastard will scrub radiation." Ryan pointed out walking away.

***

Sarah was pretty sure her body hadn't been scrubbed so hard since the false alarm at Serrano Point. She was also quiet content to be wearing a complete set of clothing for once.

Her uniform consisted of a thin white camisole and panties (which she was happy to have again) wore under threadbare army fatigues. and a pair of well used combat boots.

Sarah found Ryan laying in the grass his hands behind his head using the rucksack as a pillow. He seemed to be deep in thought.

"Showers open." Sarah said but he didn't acknowledge her as he looked up at the evening sky. Sarah sat down next to him which snapped him out of his Trans.

"What?" Ryan said startled looking up at her.

"I said shower is open." Sarah restated folding the fatigue button down in her hand.

"Oh…right" Ryan trailed off then back to looking up at the orange and purple sky.

"Ryan?" Sarah asked watching him.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Why'd you lie to Smyth back there?" Sarah shifted closer keeping voice low.

"Just something Dad once told me." Ryan grunted getting up and grabbing some thing from the bag.

"What was that?" Sarah looked up at him.

"Family is the only ones you can put your faith in. So I lied, because I put faith in the fact that you're just lost in time and not some infiltrator with my grandmother's face waiting to snuff me in my sleep like most people would think if I told them what you've told me." Ryan snorted before he walked away.

Sarah watched him feeling guilty that she didn't share the same faith in him or…herself.

"Plus if he were to call up 112th he wouldn't get any straight answers. There are only two people who speak proper English at HQ and both are on maternity." Ryan laughed.

***

The next morning Ryan brought Sarah powdered eggs and processed bacon with a cup of slugged coffee. It was about the most disgusting thing she had ever eaten in her entire life but at the same time it was better then nothing.

Sarah sipped the sludge as Ryan sat next to her eating quietly. She began to notice that there seemed to be a lot more soldiers at the garrison then before.

"Looks like 132nd arrived last night." Ryan said looking at the small crowds of soldiers sitting around eating and drinking.

"Kyle and Derek's unit." Sarah propped up.

"Also mom and dads, as well as my old one." Ryan listed off going back to eating.

"Why'd you transfer?" Sarah asked people watching.

"That is one of many things that you and I aren't going to discuss." Ryan said chewing on some bacon.

"Command issues?" Sarah asked despite the previous statement

"No, more like mommy and daddy issues." Ryan swallowed. Sarah looked at him nodding her head. "Like I said, it's not up for discussion." Ryan gave her an irritated huff.

"Right." Sarah covered her smile by sipping her coffee.

"Captain, Lieutenant. Officers Call in five." A woman in her mid twenties with long frizzy hair walked up and saluted them; Ryan saluted back starting on his coffee. However the soldier continued to stand at attention. Sarah stared up at her expecting something else to be said. Ryan elbowed Sarah.

"Salute." he whispered motioning to the woman. Sarah gave an awkward two fingered one and the woman clicked her heels nodded and walked away. Sarah watched her with an impressed look.

"Let's go." Ryan tossed the coffee into the grass and stood up. Sarah followed suit walking next to him as they strolled toward the main bunker.

"Is there something on your mind?" Sarah asked as she saw Ryan with a grim look on his face observing the people in front of him.

"I just got a bad feeling." Ryan said uneasily walking past a group of garrison soldiers.

"What about?" Sarah asked observing that the new arrivals seemed to be dressed in heavy coats, uniforms, and plastic SWAT padding.

"The 132nd is an Urban unit out of L.A. they're use to close quarter and street fighting. Out here everything is out in the open and from a distance. So what ever this offensive is about, they're clearly not dressed for a fight in the wasteland." Ryan explained. Sarah found herself feeling the same sense of dread as she looked from face to face seeing a sense of unrest in each one as if they had fear of being in the open.

They arrived in front of the bunker were they once again faced the machine from yesterday. However this time the Terminator stepped aside letting both through.

"I hope you had a good rest last night." Smyth greeted them in the control room.

"It beats sleeping in the dust." Sarah saluted.

"It does indeed, if you'll follow me." He saluted back and motioned them toward a hallway.

"She can be taught." Ryan whispered taking the lead behind Smyth. Sarah shook her head suppressing a smile.

***

Smyth led both down a narrow hallway to a large metallic door.

The Captain knocked twice then after a pause a third. The sound of squealing metal could be heard from inside the door before it scrapped open. A man in body armor armed with a plasma rifle appeared and saluted before stepping out of the way.

The inside of the room was bare with the exception of a metal table and a beaten up couch. The room was filled with a dozen people standing around or sitting on the couch.

When the three entered the room it caught everyone's attention. Ryan saluted to which everyone half heartily responded.

Sarah was not in her strong area, crowded in small spaces always made her feel uneasy. Now add a room of strangers and Sarah would give anything to be somewhere else.

She walked behind Ryan who walked confidently to a far wall and turned to her.

"Hey …stay off the radar and let me do the talking, okay." Ryan whispered to Sarah who nodded. "alright." Ryan took a deep breath and took the spot next to her.

The room was silently tense with the occasional low conversation trying to break some of the ice. But it was to no avail as the officers of the 132nd seemed to be just as uncomfortable as Sarah was.

As time dragged, Sarah began her habit of people watching. She noticed most of them where dirty and tired. The room consisted of males but there were a few women. All of the Officers seemed to be in there twenties or Sarah's age, with the only older person being one of the women. Sarah looked from person to person looking for anything of interest. Most had small scars or scruffy faces.

Sarah tensed up as she looked at the couch to find a pretty petite Asian woman hunched over resting her chin on her knuckles staring in space.

"_Jesse" _Sarah sent a death glare her way. _"That bitch is here." _she fought the burning urge to beat the hell out of Jesse for what she had done …what she will do.

"You got a problem?" Jesse called catching Sarah's eye.

"Maybe I do." Sarah challenged forgetting everything else.

"Then why don't you come out and say it." Jesse stood up.

"Hey Flores I didn't see you there …" Ryan cut in stepping in between them.

"Yeah what's it to you Phillips." Jesse said giving him a vicious look.

"I heard about the botch up with the Carter." Ryan placed a hand on her shoulder.

"And?" Jesse said distractedly

"And I was just wondering how it feels to be expendable like all the rest of us?" Ryan said calmly. The room snickered and cackled at the small joke at the ex sailors expense.

"Fuck you." Jesse shot the finger at him and walked away with several other officers patting her on the back as she went to the other side of the room.

"Just checking." Ryan called as she walked away. He turned toward Sarah and was about to addresses her when the door scrapped open and the guard entered.

"Atten-hud!!" the Soldier yelled into the room. Everyone immediately stood at attention.

Two men entered the room. One was a tall and muscular black man with salt and pepper beard. He wore sun glasses a black cap, tight t-shirt and vest. The other was a stalwart older white man with a buzz cut and proper uniform. He looked the part of a drill sergeant or classic army general.

"At ease." The Black man boomed. Everyone in the room returned to normal. "I want to get to business, and why ya'll was marched out here." The Commanding officer called. "This is Major General Eiling, he will address ya'll." He stepped back and let the older man forward.

The older man stepped forward and unrolled a weathered and beaten old map on the metal table. All in the room gathered around.

"For the last six months Skynet's main forces have been pressed and driven back since the destruction of its defense grid. However General Connor believes that it's planning one last massive offensive. Our scouts have followed several columns of Endoskeletons to a river canyon several miles to the north." Eiling spoke with a stereotypical Marine drill sergeant voice as he pointed to a brown and waved portion the map that indicated rocky terrain. "We believe that Skynet is hiding a factory somewhere in that Valley. So where going in there to drive them out." The Eiling pounded his fist against table.

When he finished the room was still silent as everyone looked at the map with uncertainty.

"Barnes." Eiling stepped back nodding to the tall man behind him.

"Companies A and B will push into the right and left of the gap while company C will stay here as support." Barnes voice was deep and confident as he motioned his hand across the map.

"Do you have a clear picture of the valley and what's in there?" Sarah asking before she could stop herself. Barnes said nothing just stared at Sarah like he was looking at a ghost.

"Skynet is still in its planning stages of the offensive." Eiling answered her with an air of authority.

"So you don't have any details on what's in there?" Sarah continued not sure what she thought she was doing. Eiling looked red in the face as he stared at Sarah.

"Who are you exactly?" Eiling asked dangerously

"Lieutenant Baum 112th." Sarah replied deciding to Jump in with both feet.

"Well, Baum your not here to question tactics. You're here to follow orders and do your job!" Eiling growled.

"If you don't have clear picture, then there's no telling how much metal is in there!" Sarah tried to reason.

"You a coward Baum, Cause you sound like someone who's afraid?" Eiling taunted in a superior toned voice giving her a hard look.

"Not Scared …Just smart." Sarah countered coldly. Everyone watched Sarah as if she just spit in the General's eye. Eiling looked like he was about to explode all over her when a thought seemed to come into his head.

"General Barnes… Isn't Lt. Devane ill?" Eiling asked. Barnes continued to stare at Sarah weirdly finally nodding after a moment.

"Excellent, then Baum I'm giving you a temporary Command of 1st platoon Company A. That way you can be in the front and see for yourself what's in there." Eiling said coldly.

"I'll take it sir." Ryan called out of no where stepping in front of Sarah defensively. At this Barnes looked like he might die of a heart attack.

"I didn't ask you Phillips." Eiling said darkly.

"I'm volunteering in her place sir. I'm a more experienced commander and I was a member of 1st Platoon as a Corporal." Ryan said trying to sound as professional as possible. Eiling stared at him darkly.

"Fine, you're on point." Eiling nodded.

"_No!"_

"No." Sarah snapped immediately. "Captain Phillips has…other things to do." she gave a look of pure concern toward Ryan.

"It's up to you Captain. It's other you or your lap whore" Eiling said seeing the unusual concern the two had for one another.

"I'll take the lead." Ryan responded with a look of anger at Eiling's comment.

"Then it's settled Captain Phillips will take in the first column." Eiling announced shooting Sarah a dirty look.

"_Oh god what have I done." _Sarah stared at Ryan who looked confident but pale.

"…dismissed." Barnes grunted. Those in the room began to file out.

"Looks like you might have to find some other CO's cock to suck on." Eiling smiled smugly bumping shoulders with Sarah. She gave him a cold stare but said nothing.

"Phillips a word." Barnes called toward Ryan who seemed to be hanging back anyway. He motioned Sarah out the door. She nodded with a look of apologetic sympathy and walked out. However once outside she left the metal door cracked open so she could hear the conversation inside.

***

"Are you out of your god damn mind? What am I going to tell your daddy when I get back to base? I'm sorry Connor but your baby boy was massacred because he was just too damn stupid!" Barnes yelled.

"Come on Barnes we wouldn't be having this conversation if this battle plan wasn't so freaking insane! Since when does Thomas "the butcher" Eiling have authority over an assault like this?" Ryan argued back.

"You been gone for long time **Boy Wonder,** some things change. Maybe if you would have stuck around this would have been your Command.

"After mom traded herself for me, Dad said never come back. So I was just respecting his wishes." Ryan responded with an indifferent arrogance.

"No you left, because it never mattered, you never took this war seriously. Your Mama took the responsibility being a Connor with respect and Honor …" Barnes stated but was cut off.

"Being a Connor isn't an _Honor_, It's a curse, a curse of Time Paradoxes, Tragic Love Stories, Loneliness, and Death. That is all that's waiting for any unlucky bastard that happens to be born in the family!" Ryan said with anger and resentment pounding his human hand into the table.

There was a silent moment as Ryan regained his composure, looking slightly guilty at his out burst.

"I swear to god it's like talking to a brick wall." Barnes sighed defeated.

"Barnes … I didn't mean to…" Ryan started but Barnes held his hand up and nodded in a silent acceptance.

"Look what I wanted to talk to you about is your beautiful champion that looks strongly like Sarah Connor posing as a lieutenant." Barnes replied with a raised eye brow.

"It's being taken care off." Ryan sighed

"I hope you're not putting your life on the line for an infiltrator, boy." Barnes warned

"Have you ever seen an infiltrator with a mouth that big before?" Ryan chuckled

"…Rye this fight isn't going to be pretty. I just want you to be sure that you aren't taking a gamble here with a ghost."

"I know what I'm doing."

"You sound like your Daddy about your Mama."

"Well, I can only hope I'm that right about this."

***

Sarah waited outside for Ryan watching as solders checked there weapons and gear and loaded in backs of pickups and other vehicles.

There was a sense of finality and death that hung over the camp like a dark cloud. Each soldier could feel it, like a game clock reaching the one minute mark in the fourth quarter or seeing the finishing line in the race of life. It welled deep in the hearts of those on there way to the field of battle.

Sarah felt a deep ache that came from the human guilt of not being able to stop something bad from happening. Worst of all was the heart breaking dread of knowing that someone close to you is about to join in the fruitless venture.

Ryan caught Sarah's eye as he exited the building. He stood alone at the entrance staring into the sky before closing his eyes. She watched him a moment as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. After several beats he opened his eyes and gave three pumps of his fist into his gloved hand. Sarah let him have his private moment before walking over to him Rucksack in hand.

"Ryan, I'm sorry…" Sarah Started.

"There isn't time for that…." Ryan cut her off. He rummaged through his bag pulling out his Jacket and an envelope.

"Look when you get a chance jump a Chopper and make sure they're going to Home Plate. When you get there go find Colonel Blair Williams, and give her this..." He handed Sarah the envelope. "Under no circumstances are you to open this. When you find Blair give it to her and tell her that you're a survivor of Angel Wing. When she asks for the code tell her 91265. She will take you to Dad…" Ryan said pulling on the jacket.

Sarah nodded looking at the weathered piece of paper.

"Take this stuff with you." Ryan said handing Sarah back the bag. "I don't want Skynet sending Dad my prized things along with my body parts." Ryan said with a small chuckle.

Though He had meant it to be a small joke it cracked something deep in Sarah's heart.

"Well…I guess it was nice meeting you finally." Ryan said awkwardly not sure what else to say to her.

Once again Sarah struggled with her emotions as she said goodbye to her Grandchild.

"Yeah…" Sarah nodded with a light smile.

"Alright … well bye" Ryan said slowly as he began to walk toward the loading areas.

"_Say something!" _ Sarah yelled in her head but came out blank as she just stared at the envelope in her hand.

Ryan stopped after several steps and looking up at the sky for a moment before looking to the ground a beat sighing. He then turned on his heels and walked back to Sarah and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her into a warm embrace.

Sarah accepted the embrace fully this time, holding him close as she would John. He buried his face in her hair taking a deep shaking breath and exhaling some of his fear of what was to come.

After a minute they broke the embrace.

"Ryan …" Sarah began again.

"I know …I know." Ryan cut off giving her an arrogant smile despite his troubled mocha orbs.

"Okay." Sarah nodded placing a motherly hand on his cheek.

Ryan closed his eyes at the human touch for several beats being deprived of paternal comfort for many years. After several moments he removed her hand and walking away again, this time he didn't stop. She watched him jump on the back of a truck and drive away.

For the first time since before Kyle showed up in her life, Sarah prayed.

**Interesting Story about this chapter. **

**Officers Call is the name of a short one shot I wrote that introduced the Character of Ryan Connor (Phillips). **

**The story however was meant to be sort of an Alt. Jameron, because many Jameron writers at the time where using the prospect of this sort of a Saintly Cameron and a beautiful Baby girl for a Jameron baby.**

**So Officers Call involved a boy (Ryan) and his huge issues with Cameron.**

**The story was supposed to show the sad reality of a Mother for a machine. **


	12. Letters from Home

**This chapter is going to be shorter then what I been writing usually but it was part of another chapter and it didn't really fit so I decided to break it into two separate Chapters. **

**Letters from home**

The wind picked up slightly blowing the dried grass gently to the east. It was a rare day in 2029. Where normally it was bone chillingly cold or skin blistering hot, Today It was simply, beautifully, perfect.

Many of the soldiers that remained at the Command Post stayed out and enjoyed the cool air and the suns rays. Sarah Connor was no different then the rest of them.

She sat in the grass, fatigue shirt open as she watched the camp.

It was the first time since she had woke up in the future that she was truly alone. Up until this point she had been in Ryan's company, not counting her abduction by Steel. So it was strange and a bit frightening experience at the aspect of being alone in a strange world.

Not wanting to focus on that issue at the moment Sarah decided to distract her self by Going through Ryan's rucksack which he had on him since there first meeting. She opened the flap and stuck her hand inside. She rummaged through it looking for anything of interest, or something that might give her a clue about John.

She pulled out a stack of folded papers that where held together between a rubber band. Sarah felt a bit guilty as she pulled out one of the papers and silently read the neatly written but worn text.

_**Dear Cowboy**_

_**I'm sorry I haven't written you … but it's been rough over here lately. Someone has been raiding some settlements to the south and like clock work Command is sending your Mom and me to go check it out.**_

_**But that's neither here or there **_

_**Your Mom hasn't said much, but then you know that already. :) **_

_**I'm sorry that we missed your birthday this year. It's hard to believe that it's been eight years since your mom woke me up in the middle of the night and handed you to me. **_

_**Since this is going to be a long and difficult trip I was compelled to write you a few comforting words from home to let you know that we're thinking about you.**_

_**Love you, Cowboy**_

_**Mom and Dad**_

_**PS. When you get home your Mama has a big present for you.**_

Sarah was a bit flabbergasted at the note she read. If she didn't know better she would have thought that it was someone else that wrote the letter not John Connor, not her son.

She was compelled to pull another out and read it. She chose two papers that were folded together and sticking out like they had had been read recently.

As she unfolded them a picture fell out. Sarah picked it up and stared. It was worn out and the edges were burned like someone had saved the photo from a fire.

In the picture Cameron stood in a familiar, beautiful white strapless silk gown, her hair and skin shimmering in the light. John stood in a tuxedo. He had his hair spiked and his face clean shaven. He looked more handsome then Sarah could ever think possible.

"_There wedding picture." _ Sarah wasn't sure why but she felt a little pain and it surprised her because it wasn't not at the fact that John married a machine, but that she wasn't there to help John get ready for the ceremony or not help Cameron plan the wedding. She wanted to be there to do all the normal things that were expected of the Mother of the groom and bride.

With a troubled sigh Sarah turned her attention to the first letter.

_**Dear John**_

_**I have been laying on the cot watching Ryan sleep all night, wondering if you're alright. So I have decided to write you a letter in the hopes of calming your mutual fears about us.**_

_**Ryan has found your old picture of Sarah and has expressed the need to carry it with him were ever he goes.**_

_**I've tried to take it from him, but for a three year old he his as stubborn as you. I have all but given up bargaining with him, as he will trade nothing for it. **_

_**Despite his wild needs to become the enemy to my authority, I have found myself having the strange urge to pet him and give him as much unwarranted affection as he has me. I often find myself watching him instead of scanning for threats. May be there is something wrong with my programming again? **_

_**I miss your presence and your way of talking to me, as it is quite hard to make friends without you. **_

_**They won't say where you are, but I have confidence that you will come back to us alive and well. **_

_**I love you,**_

_**Cameron **_

Sarah smiled slightly remembering having the same problem with John as a baby with the same picture.

She had a hard time imagining Cameron alone taking care of a toddler as the thought made her blood run cold. However if a mother couldn't be trusted around her own baby then who can?

She read the next one.

_**Dear Angel **_

_**I'm way out here in the middle of nowhere it seems (go figure). There isn't much that I can say about what I'm doing other then it's keeping me occupied. **_

_**Don't worry about the picture babe, let Ryan keep it. Mom protected me, so let her protect him. (She's a good luck charm.)**_

_**I laughed out loud when I read that Cowboy has been keeping you busy. It seems like along time ago that I would have paid big money to see you take care of a baby … I still would, but for completely different reasons.**_

_**Oh Angel, What I would give for just one night away from the war, with you, alone in some place where it's just you and me, some place safe, with a beautiful view to match my beautiful wife.**_

_**If wishes were fishes, right. **_

_**I miss you and Ryan so much, but there is a job to do. **_

_**Give my love to Cowboy **_

_**I love you, **_

_**John **_

Sarah's heart was filled with warmth at seeing what John had written about her. She never knew John had felt that way about her and it made her feel loved.

John's letter to Cameron was heartfelt and filled with longing. That was a feeling that Sarah knew well, because she was feeling that deep uncontrollable need to see John and even Cameron to a point just to feel that normal warmth in her heart that she had somebody to come home to. It was in that moment for reasons unknown to her; somewhere in the back of her mind and heart she began to miss Ryan … just a little bit.

Giving one last hard look at the wedding picture she neatly folded the letters over it and placed it back.

A wrinkled and slightly crumbled piece of paper caught Sarah's fancy and she pulled it out and smoothed it over so she could read it.

_**Ryan **_

_**I know that you and I barely know one another, and when we have met, we haven't seen eye to eye. **_

_**But your father is hurt badly and he needs you. **_

_**Please … it's time to come home. **_

_**Kate **_

The letter nearly gave Sarah a heart attack. The urgency of the handwriting as well as the wording made Sarah feel the need to rush to help John, but she knew that what ever had happened, it was long past as she remembered what Steel had said about Kate.

Folding the letter Sarah noticed writing on the back. She reopened the letter and looked at the ink on the back

Sarah moved her leg not remembering that she had placed the pile on her lap, causing the papers to drop with a thud to the dry turf like ground. As she gathered those back in the rubber band she picked up one that had gotten away.

She unfolded it but had a hard time reading it, because there was water stains that smudged out the writing like someone had let water droplets leak on it.

_**Dear Ryan **_

_**I write this letter as I'm looking over you in your hospital bed. **_

_**There are many things I should and want to say to you, but you haven't the time. **_

_**What I want to say is that as I held your battered body in my arms last night I stroked your hair like I use to when you where a baby.**_

_**As we laid in silence I replayed your birth to my abduction. When it occurred to me that in your entire life … I have never said what is important.**_

_**So I may be late in saying it…**_

_**I love you **_

_**Mom**_

_**Ps. my last request is that you be promoted and given a Commendation of Valor for your attempted rescue of Allison Young. See that Barnes gives it to you. **_

Sarah cleared the emotion from her throat as she wiped her tear brimmed eyes. It was hard to read a second time as she saw the tear stains on the paper knowing that Ryan had left them there.

She folded the note and stuck it back into the pack she couldn't bare to read anymore.

As she pushed the letters back in she felt a metallic item brush against her hand. She frowned a moment before she pulled it out.

It was a heart shaped locket made from tainted gold. Sarah examined it closely before opening it. Instead of a picture, a mini figurine of a Ballerina popped out and twirled on a mechanical wheel. A scratchy and mechanical chirping tune vibrated out of it. The slow and sad music made Sarah feel some what haunted as she watched the beautifully carved figurine twirl.

The melancholy song comprised with the almost painfully sad look on the Ballerina's face made Sarah snap it shut.

"_This place is getting me." _She sighed emotionally staring at the music box. She was in the process of wondering why Ryan would ever have this on him when faded lettering appeared in her vision.

**TO OUR FIRST BABY GIRL …**

**WE LOVE YOU ALLISON. **

It all became clear to her where he had got it from.

She pondered for a moment who Allison Young was, She had lived with Cameron for almost two years, but she was sure that the two where nothing alike. From what little she heard from Ryan she knew that he had felt immense guilt for not being able to save her. Maybe he had kept it because it was a part of his biological mother, or maybe it was there to remind him that he won't ever let it happen to another person again.

"Sarah … Sarah Connor?" A voice called out to her.

Sarah turned her head to a mousy brown headed woman with an open fatigue shirt standing over her. She gave the woman a confused look

"You don't know who I am, do you?" The woman asked with a smile. Sarah couldn't quiet put the name to the face, but it was so familiar.

"Sorry." Sarah shook her head.

"It's okay I doubt you would, it's been a while." The woman smiled.

Sarah gave her a hard look. Then it came to her in a flash.

"Lauren … Lauren Fields?" Sarah asked surprised.

"There it is!" She laughed plopping down next to her. Sarah stared in shock.

Lauren was no longer the "Peppermint" Patty tomboy that she remembered, but a quiet stunning grown woman that had a striking resembles to her mother.

"Well don't look to shocked, it has been twenty one years." Lauren smiled, However her smile faded slightly as she gave Sarah a once over.

"You know … you don't look like fifty three Year old woman." Lauren poked Sarah's arm.

"That's good, because I don't happen to be a fifty three year old woman." Sarah replied. Lauren gave her another once over.

"Oh … so that's what happened to you." Lauren groaned.

"What?" Sarah asked

"You got TDEd, and here I thought you were dead." She said with a scoff.

"Nothing about that statement seems weird to you?" Sarah asked with a confused frown.

"Look Sarah, My sister was delivered by a soldier from the future who told me that her blood would help save humanity from machines that I've been running from since I was sixteen … I have learned to go with weird." Lauren laughed putting a hand on Sarah's shoulder.

***

Both women walked through the Command Post toward one of the concrete Buildings across from the main bunker.

As they walked, Sarah observed two solders sitting near a tent start to harmonize on a Violin and a guitar. They played a slow, beautiful Irish sounding song that Sarah remembered from her childhood. Lauren and Sarah stayed and observed the two who didn't seem to mind or notice they were there.

The song for a reason unknown made her think of John. She felt a pain in her heart as she thought of all the years he has spent without her. She could only imagine the heart ache had to have suffered. Sarah may have not liked Cameron, but she knew what she had meant to John and what her death what have done to him. Something inside her wanted to see and hold John with every fiber in her being. While the other feared what he will say when he sees the person that promised to protect him return after abandoning him for twenty one years.

"Hey, post Judgment day earth to Sarah." Lauren called to her. Sarah turned to Lauren who was staring at her with a humored smile.

"What?" Sarah asked.

"You're freaking out the locals." Lauren said in a hushed tone.

Sarah turned to the musicians who have stopped playing and were giving her weird looks.

"Sorry" She apologized and motioned Lauren forward.

***

The Concrete building they entered turned out to be a medical facility. There were several long wooden tables with sheets covering them. There was a locked cabinet with medicine inside, and off to the side mini roller carts with surgical equipment.

"You have now entered the domain of Laurenvania, in this realm I'm queen and there's no one greater then I … not even John Connor!" Lauren announced playfully.

"You're a doctor?" Sarah almost laughed at the prospect.

"Hey … that's chief medical officer to you ma'am." Lauren pointed out in a mock air of superiority.

"Excuse me …" Sarah smiled, putting her hands up in a defensive manner.

"Your forgiven … for now." She winked unlocking the medical cabinet. She rummaged for a moment before she pulled out an amber colored bottle then closed and locked the door.

"Over here" She pointed to a round dinning room table with several glasses already on it.

Sarah placed Ryan's rucksack in a chair and sat down across from Lauren.

"So …" Lauren trailed off as she poured a glass for Sarah.

"So …" Sarah parroted back watching Lauren.

'what's new with you?"

**Sorry if this feels like filler, but once again I seem to be working out the kinks in this goddamn story … but I Digress. **

**I want to thank everyone who had reviewed this bullet train on the wrong track of a story, but trust me it will get good. **


	13. Irish Party with Company C

**So hey! **

**Umm … there is going to be some sex in here … but it wont be really graphic though might be a bit cringe worthy. So I'm just sayin. **

**Irish Party with Company C**

Time must have flown by faster then Sarah thought, because it was almost dark when she and Lauren had run out of things to say.

She told her about her adventure from prison to the future and her capture by Steel and Lauren told her about her life since the diner. She had been married to Martin Bedell and was widowed for several years. Sydney was now twenty-two and a Staff Sergeant with the 2nd platoon, Company A, 132nd Tech-Com.

Sarah felt a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach as Lauren told her about Sarah being the person she looked up to in the hard times.

"So, you're waiting for a chopper, huh?" Lauren swallowed.

"Yeah …" Sarah coughed as she drank the quarter empty glass of "Wine" that she was poured. The tangy tasting liquid was so strong, she was sure that it was going to burn a hole in her throat.

"Sorry, but … there won't be any for several days. Command doesn't want to have too much "mechanical attention" in the area." Lauren made air quotes as she downed another glass. "They think it will spoil the element of surprise, they think they have." Lauren finished with a bitter scoff. Her face went cold for a moment and fear flashed across her eyes.

"You okay?" Sarah asked after a beat.

"Oh, yeah, I just worry dor Sydney, when she takes off for action. But this is different, you know. When she's out in the Junk yard I have faith in her abilities, but out here in the open … I just have this feeling like I might not see her again … now that Marty is dead, she's all I got." Lauren spoke with a grim face. Sarah nodded looking at the scratched table.

"Do I need to make an appointment to see the doctor?" a man with a gentleman like southern draw called from the entrance. Sarah turned around to see four people standing at the door, three of them where men, one was quite handsome the other sort of older with a white beard and the last one was heavy set with a goatee. There was one female in the group, she was about Ryan's age and was very beautiful with blue eyes and almost golden long curled hair.

"Hey there George!" Lauren laughed away the fear, standing up. The four approached her causally with smiles.

"It's nice to see you could join us, _**finally**_!" Lauren joked shaking the man's hand.

"Well you know him, he's not satisfied unless he makes an entrance." the more bulky man of the group padded the handsome man. He also had a southern draw.

"Good lord Eric you lost weight?" Lauren looked at the heavy man.

"That's not cool." The man frowned playfully as he shook her hand.

"Lefty …" Lauren nodded at the older man too which he bowed slightly. Lauren hugged the pretty blond.

"Alice … great to see you alive and well baby girl" Lauren said in a maternal tone as she stroked the young woman's hair before letting her go.

"Now I know that's not a slide on my abilities, Mrs. Bedell." The handsome man said coyly.

"You know damn well it is." She winked. The man touched his heart and walked further in the room. He caught a glimpse at Sarah and seemed to be struck with her.

"Hey … you going to introduce us?" the handsome man said looking at Sarah with a glimmer in his eye, making her blush slightly.

"Oh right, this is very good friend of mine, 2nd lieutenant Sarah Baum." Lauren motioned her hand in a grand gesture of mock respect. "Sarah, this is Major George McLennan, Commander Company C 132nd. We leave all are more … deeper philosophical questions on nature and the art of being a grade A sissy to him." Lauren took on a very mock serious nature frowning as she clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"They do … they do indeed." George took Sarah's hand and kissed it in a very aristocratic fashion. She lifted an eyebrow at the man's manners.

"George here is our very own Sir Robin." Lauren addressed Sarah. "His rank despite repeated dismal performances in combat is still the gossip of the Army, which is quite a thing to accomplish when you think of everything else that's going on these days." Lauren pushed George playfully.

"Hey, I'm in it to win it, Bedell. Look at Phillips and the Reese boys … they won metals and look where it got them." He pointed out with a laugh. Sarah felt a rush of anger as the small group snickered, though she was surprised to see that Alice didn't find it that funny either.

"Being a war hero isn't gentleman's work is it, George?" Lefty patted the man on the back.

"No, that it's not old friend …" he announced.

"You pussy." Lauren shook her head. To which they laughed again.

"Well Ms. Baum if you will permit me to introduce these guys here to you, they all command a platoon of mine." George bowed slightly. Sarah still had a stiff look on her face but she nodded.

"This is 1st Lieutenant Eric Glossin in charge of first platoon." George ushered the heavier man forward. He smiled and shook her hand firmly.

"Number two here is one of the oldest members of the resistance, Captain Roger "lefty" McGill. I'd watch my language around him, he's a Baptist Minister back home." He pointed to the white bearded older man who nodded and shook Sarah's hand in a grandfatherly way.

"And last and certainly least … is 2nd Lieutenant Alice Taylor. She just got her promotion through highly questionable methods." He smiled jokingly at the stunning young woman.

"Shut up …!" Alice smacked George on the arm before shaking Sarah's hand with a kind smile. "He's just jokin; I got it after my platoon got cut up in Griffith Park." The girl had a kind and gentle southern draw. Sarah gave the girl a reassuring smile.

"I didn't see you at the Officers Call?" Sarah said looking at them. Everyone frowned at George.

"Oh well, that would be entirely my fault, we got a bit of a late start so we may have missed it." George said politely.

"Would that have something to do with you not wanting to deal with Eiling?" Lauren sat back in her seat to which Alice and Eric did the same.

"You ma'am never miss a beat do you?" George laughed taking the seat next to her and across from Sarah.

"Then you realize that being second in command of the entire Regiment that you would eventually have to have a conversation with the CO of the Campaign?" Lauren talked to him as if she was addressing a young child.

"It slipped my mind, yes." He thinned his lips.

Suddenly Sarah was being dealt worn, almost faded playing cards. She raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything just took them as they fell.

After several moments Sarah realized that the game they where playing was poker. She silently reshuffled her hand as she listened in on the conversation quietly.

"How's your command anyway?" Lauren asked off handedly as she examined her cards.

"I don't think you'll find any amount of human beings on the planet that are most looking forward to a fight then company C." George said placing two cards on the table.

"I think the credit goes to Connor … I mean who else could have lead this army back from complete disaster during the Ashdown offensive to total victory." Eric said with a sigh tossing George two different cards.

Sarah perked up a tiny bit at the mention of John. This was just the conversation Sarah had been wanting, needing to hear.

"It does boggle the mind." Lauren replied half-heartedly. Lefty chuckled to himself for a moment.

"You remember what we use to call him and Cam when the unit was first put together?" he asked Lauren. A nostalgic smile broke over her face as she looked up from the cards.

"Sonny and Cher" she laughed shaking her head. There was a small murmur of amused laughter from everyone except Alice who looked a bit lost at the reference.

"Oh, what damn idiots we were back then, now when Connor passes by in the tunnels or in the hall, everyone goes quiet like Jesus Christ himself was passing by." Lefty laughed a sigh.

"Have any of you seen anything like that before?" Alice asked with an interested look. Everyone shook there heads for a moment as if searching in the deepest parts of there memory for any inkling.

"It's amazing what one man can do …" George tossed his hand on the table. "Fold" he sighed irritably.

"Speaking of which, I heard Ryan was back." Lefty causally commented, taking a card and slapping it on the table. Sarah noticed that Alice seemed to perk up at the name.

"Yep … he was at the officer's call. Eiling gave him Cameron's old unit." Lauren had a Cheshire grin on her face as she spoke.

"I heard he gave Eiling crap about the battle plan in front every officer in Companies A and B." Eric said with a fond laugh. Sarah wasn't sure if she should correct him or let Ryan take the credit for her lapse of control earlier that morning.

"Well from what I hear a one Lieutenant Baum was the one who did the mud throwing at the arrogant son of a bitch." Lauren winked at Sarah.

"Holy shit, you got to give us the details." George said scooting closer to the table, in fact everyone in the room seemed to forget about the card game and turn there attention to Sarah with excited grins.

"Well … there isn't much to tell. I told him that I thought his plan was flawed and then he tried to rope me into a taking 2nd Platoon and Ryan volunteered in my place, so Eiling called me Ryan's whore." Sarah shrugged the story off.

"Ryan volunteered in your place?" Alice asked with an almost dreamy school girl grin. Sarah nodded her head.

"He must really care about you to do that." Lauren smiled knowingly looking back at her cards.

Laurens comment struck something deep inside Sarah. She had been so preoccupied with her suspicions and disbelief that she seemed to miss the bigger picture. Ryan had not only saved her life more then once. But he had lied and protected her from others, even when it didn't make sense to do so in the interest of self preservation.

"Yeah, I guess he does." Sarah said with sad guilt.

"I see he's grown up though." Lefty said with a raised eyebrow.

"What makes you say that?" Alice asked trying to seem nonchalant, but Sarah wasn't fooled. This Alice girl seemed to have a very compelling interest in Ryan.

"Because, he didn't lay Eiling out for calling his woman a whore like he would have in the past." He responded watching Lauren and Eric shooting suspicious glances at each other from behind there cards.

***

**2023**

_Kate pushed her silky hair out of her face as she made her way out of the party. She frowned as the shouting and music made her feel a bit afraid that the machines would hear the racket. However the birthday celebration for General John Connor has become almost a national holiday and a time to have some fun, so she put up with it, knowing that even the hardiest soldiers needed a break. _

_She was going through the narrow tunnel to John's office when she came across a lone Teenage boy leaning against the wall near the office door. He seemed to be a stranger, but somewhere in the back of Kate's mind she could place the face. _

_He had grown out almost long wavy raven hair and soft brown eyes. His clothing was different then usual tunnel rags. He had a Black T-shirt under an oriental looking wrap shirt and a navy blue sash tied around his waist with black fatigue pants and tall travel boots and a knee length brown leather jacket. _

"_Can I help you?" Kate asked gently. The teen looked up to her with an uninterested scowl. _

"_That's all right, sweetheart …" the Kid's voice was dripping with arrogance._

"_That was rhetorical ..." Kate crossed her arms. _

"_Was it …?" He replied brushing off her comment. _

"_Are you a member of the unit?" She asked sternly._

"_You mean do I belong to that crack band of lean, mean, meat head machines? …No, I make my own way." The boy scoffed and answered her sarcastically. _

"_Then, I'm sorry, but this area is restricted." Kate used her best hardened soldier face. _

"_Is that a fact?" He replied with mock interest. _

"_Yes, it is" Kate glared. _

"_Well …it's not to me, babe." The kid winked and started to tap on the wall absent-mindedly._

"_Why don't you tell me why that is?" Kate felt her temper rising. _

"_Well … I could." He smiled charmingly then went back to tapping and looking at nothing. There was a long anticipating silence from Kate, but she got no reply. _

"_Well…?" Kate began to tap her foot. _

"_Do you spit or swallow?" the kid asked out of the blue. _

"_What!?" Kate asked angrily_

"_Do you like it missionary or doggy style?" the kid pressed. _

"_What in the hell does that have to do with anything!!?" Kate was flushed at such blunt inappropriate questions. _

"_Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were asking questions that where none of each others business and it was my turn." The kid mocked sarcastically. _

_Kate clenched her teeth together angrily, at the Teenager's cockiness. _

"_Hey, Katherine is this punk bothering you?" an older man with a buzz cut and a clean uniform walked up flanked by a younger soldier. _

"_You know what's more of a riot then Surgeon ginger here … a soldier with a clean uniform, isn't that right, __**Fuzzy**__?" the young man stepped up to the buzz cut man in almost a baiting manner. _

_Kate didn't like the kid at all, but she knew her uncle Irving Eiling can sometimes get offended easily and when that happens he can get out of hand and the last thing she wanted was some no name kid to get pounded on her watch. _

"_Uncle Irving, just let him go, I can handle him." Kate sighed with a huff. _

"_She's right fuzzy; you don't want to wrinkle that uniform." The kid mocked. _

_Eiling snapped back and connected his fist with the teens face sending him to the soddened ground. There was a quiet moment of shock from Kate as Eiling breathed a smile. He turned to walk away when a voice called from the ground with a chuckle. _

"_Is that what passes as a punch in the Resistance theses days?" the kid got to his feet laughing at the older man. Eiling snapped back again, but this time the kid beat him and in a flash the kid sent two fast punches to the colonel's chest then he made a jumping kick to the senior officers face, the last of which made Eiling's jaw echo a sickening crack. He fell to the floor with a sliding thud. Kate hadn't seen that kind of martial arts since ironically her uncle took her to a karate movie before J-day. _

_The youth looked smug, but the victory was short lived as the other soldier leaped at him. In a well trained and smooth motion the kid snatched the soldier's wrists and fell on his back using his legs to propel the soldier over him and into the heavy iron door of John Connor's office. _

_Rolling backwards to his feet, the teen had very little time to recover as Eiling hit him in the face again, sending back peddling out of the tunnel and into the party._

_Men and women moved out of the way as the youth landed flat on a metal table. Eiling rushed forward pinning his opponent and unleashed a barrage of shots to the face. As the ego bruised Colonel threw back his elbow for a forth slug the brown eyed young man blocked the shot and snapped his knee into Eiling's solar-plexus and drove a open palmed strike to the Colonels face, While stunned the teen used his legs to push the older man away. _

_Eiling stumbled backward before charging forward, the arrogant kid turned and in one smooth motion and lighting fast move the teen swept the legs out from under the enraged Colonel sending the back of his head hard to the concrete floor._

_**BANG!**_

_A loud shot from a dented shotgun sounded over the commotion. Everyone turned to the sound and immediately stood in a fearful attention as a thirty-two year old male figure made his way through the crowd that parted in front of him. _

_He was tall and muscular and had a thread bare uniform. His brunette hair was spiked and a brutal facial scar dominated the right side of his otherwise brilliantly handsome face. He walked with a determined purpose and strength that made many fear his searching gaze. _

_His Emerald eyes stopped at the youth who was still on his knee. The young man's soft mocha eyes met the grown man's and immediately the man was transported to Red Valley, New Mexico where the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life told him her name with a loving smile. _

"_It's a little late in the day to be causing trouble isn't, Cowboy?" John Connor asked shouldering his mother's old shotgun. The teen stood up and wiped his mouth with his leather sleeve. From the view of a stranger there was no denying that the two where blood. _

"_Well, trouble usually finds me, so I thought I would meet it half way this time." Ryan Connor replied cockily. John frowned at his son. _

"_You alive, Irving?" He asked with authority. _

"_I'm …tolerable …" Eiling grunted back, covering the back of his head with both hands. John nodded and motioned Ryan to follow him. _

_Kate watched the two come closer to her. She could have kicked herself at not seeing the resemblance to John from the beginning. John placed his hand on her shoulder in passing, making her smile slightly knowing that when it came to things involving Cameron, Kate was basically a ghost and she learned long ago to leave him alone._

_Ryan stopped in front of Kate for a moment. _

"_Hey thanks for the letter, it was touching." Ryan said giving her a tight smack on the rear and a playful wink before following John into his office. Kate rubbed he butt sorely and caught an apologetic look given to her by John as he closed the heavy metal door effortlessly._

"Well that explains a lot." Sarah couldn't help but chuckle at the story. The rest of the room was laughing obnoxiously.

"Eiling was so pissed … people wanted to give Rye an officer's commission right there …" Lauren was on the verge of tears.

It had been always strange for Sarah when she thought about Ryan, mostly because, in her time frame John was only sixteen a week ago and Cameron was still his glitchy protector. But these stories about bar brawls and nicknames given to fresh faced officers named Connor made her current situation very real … it was finally starting to dawn on her that she wasn't dreaming or crazy. Her baby had moved on with his life and had a grown baby himself. She was a grandmother of a very real person and however weird it was, Cameron was his mother.

"God … I miss the old days." Eric grunted a sigh as he drank from Laurens amber bottle.

"I do too." Lefty shook his head as the laughter died around the table and a sense of deep regret for friends and loved ones long lost started to sink the friendly and fun attitude that had once surrounded the table.

"Has anyone heard of a party going down tonight?" Alice asked trying to revive the friendly atmosphere.

"Yeah … 82nd is having some big Christmas party down at the barracks." Lauren all but waved it off.

"really, sounds fun …" Alice tried to remain reserved, But Sarah's experience as a college aged teenage girl taught her that inside Alice was probably busting at the seams with excitement.

"Yeah, a room full of Irish people with weapons and alcohol … sounds like a blast." Lauren responded with a scoff. "No offense, Sarah" Lauren quickly added winking at her.

"Oh, none taken." Sarah smiled at the comment.

"I wouldn't worry most of the boys will be down there too and there all from Georgia." Lefty tried to reassure Lauren in the hopes that she might join them.

"Right, because drunk country boys will really make things better." Lauren sighed.

"But, no offence?" George asked.

"No, I totally mean what I say." Lauren deadpanned.

"Why would there be a party in the first place?" Sarah asked being a bit confused as Kyle and Derek were a bit loose on the explanations of large Christmas parties. Everyone started to get up and make there way to the door.

"Meh, don't sweat it Baum, Eiling isn't stupid enough to push a major engagement with half a regiment. So you can relax and enjoy yourself for one night and leave the war for tomorrow." Lefty gave a pat of encouragement on Sarah's shoulder and walked out.

Sarah watched as Lauren walked out almost everyone except Alice who was still sitting next to her twirling her thumbs and looking a bit nervous. Sarah gave her an expecting look.

"Can … can I ask you a question …?" Alice stumbled nervously over her words.

"…sure" Sarah gave her a charming smile in order to settle the young woman's nerves.

"Are you and … are you and Ryan … a, you know … are you serious?" Alice seemed as nervous as she sounded with her sparkling blue eyes refusing to meet Sarah's emeralds. Sarah laughed after a moment, finally deciphering the girl's question. Sarah shook her head.

"No, we're not serious. Ryan and I are …" Sarah started still trying not to laugh at the absurdity.

"She and Ryan aren't serious … I'm sorry baby girl, but there mates for life." Lauren cut in with a serious tone; her speech was almost scrambled and urgent. Sarah frowned and was about to protest.

"Oh, I see …" Alice said her face was masked with a smile but the way her eyes seemed to engulf pain and sadness it made Sarah's heart hurt. She was about to speak up and tell her what Lauren said was untrue, but she never got the chance. Alice got up and gave Sarah a heartbroken nod.

"Congratulations, you got one hell of a man there." Alice looked like she was almost in tears when she left the building.

"What the hell!" Lauren almost yelled at Sarah.

'What the hell yourself, Why would you tell her that me and Ryan where engaged?" Sarah asked.

"Sarah … most people in the unit knows who Ryan is … he took Cameron's maiden name to protect himself from Skynet gunning for him every engagement. If word got out that you and Ryan where related … people will know you're a Connor and worst, that you where picked up during the operation. You think Eiling is bad? Wait until the entire 132nd thinks your some sort of infiltrator … or worst if Skynet knows that Sarah Connor is here it won't stop till it has you naked on a cold exam table pulling your skin off your body and using your brain for the next line of Terminator chips. So yes, you need to tell people that you and Ryan are engaged for his protection and yours." Lauren was chastising and irritated with Sarah's almost laps of judgment.

Sarah was silent as she thought about what Lauren had told her. Sadly it made sense and even though Sarah didn't like the idea of pretending to be in a relationship with someone from her family, she knew just like with Steel, it will keep her alive.

"Fine …" She huffed actually downing the last half of her glass of … whatever it was. Lauren sighed and drank the rest of the bottle.

"So… what do you say about us foxy ladies having a girls night out?"

Despite everything Sarah gave a chuckle at the always chipper Lauren.

***

The Barracks of the command post where generally row after row of undesignated bunk beds that could house at least two hundred on its worst days. When Sarah and Ryan first got to the garrison they where offered a bunk, but Ryan refused saying that he would rather sleep outside then in a place where he had to be pressed against Sarah so tightly that she could tell what his religion was.

However in light of the party the bunks had been moved to the walls, making a large open space where assortment of furniture such as tables and chairs where placed in a square around a make shift dance floor.

When Lauren and Sarah entered the building the party had already started with many people standing around talking or dancing. Off to the side they spotted the same musicians from earlier, but this time with several others on an accordion, horn pipe, and an Irish drum. They were playing jigs and reels with the occasional Christmas song.

Both women settled into the party taking a mug of something called Meer and a seat at a table.

Apparently according to Sarah's taste buds Meer was a thick almost chunky alcoholic drink that she actually didn't find half bad.

"So … what do you think of the party?" Lauren called over the loud jig being played.

"Interesting …" Sarah called back.

***

Eiling let out an animal like groan as he pounded in and out of a young woman that he had bent over on his desk in the command center.

He didn't know her name, but she had wanted to get in and see what made everything work, because of her ambition to become a commissioned officer.

She was beautiful and innocent looking, so he let her inside. But he didn't show her any of the equipment.

Irving Eiling was lucky that there was nobody there to see him. Cause too many, what he was doing was widely considered rape. But then again, Eiling didn't hear her complaining.

Plus the way her Brown eyes looked so blank so … innocent, in his mind she was begging for it. In his mind being a commander of an entire operation gave him the right to do anything he wanted, including young women like _"Bambi"_ there.

After several more cruel thrusts into the girl he stiffened and he pulled on her curled brunet hair. Eventually he let her go and pulled up his pants.

He examined her like a piece of meat. She stayed bent over, her fatigue pants still around her ankles, her fatigue shirt ripped open. Eiling thought she looked so good that he could go for seconds. But he had a party to make an appearance at.

"Get dressed and get out. Oh, if you tell anyone this happened … I can do a whole lot worst." He growled in the woman's ear feeling her off one last time before leaving the empty building.

The young woman removed herself from the desk and mechanically with out waist effort redressed herself.

Her brown eyes were not in shock or in tears; she merely walked with a slight limp to the control panel.

She sat at one of the stations and flipped on a computer screen. With expert diligence she typed on a keyboard. After a moment her doe eyes found what they had been looking for. She placed a headset over her ears and flipped another switch.

"CP to Ghost Rider do you copy?" Cameron had imprinted Irving Eiling voice.

***

The night was pleasant, with just the right amount of breeze that made sitting crouched in the dark something more tolerable for the two companies of the 132nd.

They kept an eye on the impossibly rocky terrain of the opening of the valley in front of them with there night scopes, twitching nervously every so often spotting a legion of T-800's Endoskeletons standing at attention.

Ryan quietly made his way to where Barnes over looked there position with thermal field glasses.

"_How many?" _Barnes whispered not looking at the young Tech-Com officer next to him.

"_Legion up front … but without good intel there isn't telling how many are hiding behind those rocks in there." _ Ryan reported quietly with a sigh.

"_Suggestions?" _Barnes asked turning his vision to the machines ahead.

"_I say we order an air strike and artillery barrage before even attempting to move in." _ Ryan's response made Barnes smile broadly.

"_Look at that … and here I thought you was adopted, but you is a Connor." _Barnes laughed quietly punching Ryan on the arm with out taking his eyes away from the field. Ryan just shook his head rolling his eyes.

"_**CP to Ghost Rider do you copy?" **_Eiling's voice came over the portable radio set next to Barnes. Quickly he put the phone to his ear and pushed down the switch.

"_CP this is Ghost Rider we hear you loud and clear." _Barnes whispered.

"_**Ghost Rider, be advised, you are to begin your run on the target." **_

Barnes and Ryan tensed at the order.

"_Come again CP, I didn't catch that?" _ Barnes almost stuttered.

"_**Ghost Rider you are being ordered to begin your attack." **_

"_With all do respect …" _Barnes began.

"_**That is all General … get it done. Over and out." **_Eiling cut Barnes off and the radio went silent.

Barnes sat in silence for a moment contemplating on what to do.

"_Barnes … we can't …" _Ryan gritted his teeth.

"_Rye … I've just relieved Major Hayworth. I'm giving you Company A." _Barnes ordered.

"_Have you lost it?" _Ryan gritted angrily.

"_Rye …" _Barnes tried to stop him.

"_There entrenched all over the ground and they have heavy weapondiery in the rocks." _Ryan pointed to the valley ahead. Barnes said nothing he just stared._ "Any movement is going to bring hot light all over our position … we'll lose half the command before we even get in there. Then once we are in there, all they'll have to do is toss boulders at us." _ Barnes was still silent. _"Dammit, Barnes, We need to at least wait for George and C to get here for support!" _Ryan was passionate and frustrated. Barnes took a second before he spoke.

"_Rye … you are the only one I trust to do this …" _He was slow and consoling.

"_Barnes …!" _ Ryan shook his head.

"_Ryan Connor! For once in your Fucking life, do what you're told!" _Barnes chastised angrily in a booming but silent voice. Ryan looked as if he might catch on fire. "_Now, if you're through bitching, why don't you take A Company and prove yourself wrong." _Barnes ended the conversation and walked away from him.

Ryan snatched up his Plasma rifle angrily and slung it behind him and pulled up his bandana over his nose. After several calming deep breaths, he touched his ear piece.

"_Platoon Leaders, mount up" _Ryan's tone was cold and calculating. After a moment whirring went down the line of soldiers, as they charged their rifles.

Turning his attention to the jagged cliffs behind him, he made several complicated hand signals before slamming his fist into his gloved hand.

Above them the sound of more whirring and crunching of metal against rocks swept across the field.

The legion of machines buzzed to life at the commotion in front of them.

"_Four and six, fire!" _Ryan called into the headset.

A feeling of static electricity rushed down the rocks as the light artillery fired two massive bolts of light into the mass of machines scattering chrome high in the air.

"_Two and five, fire!" _Ryan once again ordered, with the same effect. Ryan flipped a dial on his headset. "Take'em!"

"FIRE!" a voice boomed and all at once hundreds of bolts crossed the field crashing into the ranks of Endoskeletons.

After half an hour of intense volleys of infantry fire, along with the artillery from above, the machines began to retreat into the valley.

Seeing the machines breaking at the mouth, Barnes ordered Company B forward. Suddenly a hundred Resistance Soldiers rushed across the no mans land toward the rocks.

"Platoon leaders keep them spread out and don't break ranks! Keep away from the center; we need to take the heights!" Ryan called over the roar of battle. After several beats of hesitation he gave the order. "Advance"

In one coordinated motion all of Company A moved forward across the field toward the heights above the valley.

Then all at once the sky was covered with light, as an unimaginable amount of bolts rained down on the advancing humans.

The hot bolts sliced soldiers in half and scissored limbs off like they where hot butter. A Company only got several yards before the casualties began to take there toll on them.

"Make for the rocks!" Ryan called sprinting and pointing to the large rocky slopes in front of them. The Company complied and ran as fast as there will to live could carry them to the large boulders and rock formations.

Once behind the landscape, the artillery began to pound the heights, smashing rocks and machine alike.

Ryan turned his attention to heights above as his Command traded fire with the entrenched machines above them. He was in the middle of formulating a plan to conquer the rocky hill above, when a cry of distress clamored through his headset.

"_Alpha, come in over … Alpha!_" a woman's voice was so scared that it sound like she was on the verge of tears.

"This is Alpha … what, what?!" Ryan asked on edge as he didn't have time for the woman to steel her nerves.

"_Sir, this corporal Sanders … Our unit is trapped … in the valley … need help!" _ The voice faded into static. Ryan turned to where Company B should have been, but there was no one there.

"Son of bitch" Ryan breathed and flipped a switch on his ear piece. "Barnes come in over!" Ryan called.

An auburn haired young woman rushed to his side ducking from one rock to the next.

"Ryan, we're pinned down!" the woman called to him through the deafening plasma fire.

"Sydney, go tell Lt. Holder to radio the artillery and get them to switch munitions to _**Scatter Shot**_!" Ryan ordered flipping the dial again on his ear piece.

"God dammit, somebody answer the radio!" Ryan yelled into the microphone.

"Holder's dead!" Sydney yelled.

"Well, then, YOU get on the horn and get them to level this rock garden!" Ryan ordered. Sydney nodded and snatched a radio of the back of another soldier that was switching magazines on his rifle.

"_Alpha … this Bravo over!" _ Barnes's voice came over the ear piece in a disordered voice.

"Barnes what the hell is going on?!" Ryan yelled

"_They got us trapped … surrounded … need to be relived …" _Barnes voice was pieced by interference from the rocks blocking the signal.

"Hold on … just hold on!" Ryan called as a plasma bolt barley missed him. He fired off several shots in the Terminators direction getting a head shot on one of them. "We'll get you out!" Ryan finished his sentence.

"Sid, get CP on the line!" Ryan called.

Suddenly three large plasma flashes fired into the air like fire crackers, illuminating the cloudless nocturnal sky. With an ark the bolts broke into fragmented pieces and impacted the slopes of the valley, causing twelve major explosions concussing the machines firing rate.

For a moment the battle seemed to stop as the entrenched killing machines tried to recover.

"Rye …!" Sidney handed him the phone.

"CP this Ghost Rider come in over!" Ryan called into the phone as the fire fight started again. "CP, come in!" Ryan yelled. There was no answer from the other line. Ryan traded a look with Sidney as they ate static. "CP, I not sure you are receiving, but we're under heavy attack and need reinforcements, over!" there was still no answer on the other end. "CP, Bravo Company is trapped and pined in the valley and need to be relived … we're taking heavily casualties!" Ryan's grip made the plastic phone groan in protest for a moment. After another moment he turned to Sydney with an emotionless face that would make his mother proud.

"Sid, drop your shit and wait for the next scatter spread, then run to the assembly area … once your there, hop in a vehicle and tell Eiling to get his ass in gear and get us some reinforcements!" Ryan ordered calmly. Sidney nodded and began striping her padding. Soon enough another volley of large bolts lit the night sky and crashed into the peaks above.

"Suppressing fire!" Ryan yelled over the once again silent battlefield. At once the dwindling numbers of the three platoons let lose a heavy onslaught of laser fire pinning the Endo's down. Ryan gave Sydney a helpful push to get her started as she ran in an evasive manner for the cliffs behind the 132nd.

***

Sarah was on her third Meer, when she decided that she liked the stuff.

"You know … I always thought she was really pretty!" Sarah confessed to Lauren who was humming to the loud reel. "I mean … I get it, why he chose her over me!" Sarah shook her head.

"Who's that?!" Lauren shouted.

"That Jesse whore! I mean … maybe I was never that nice to him and he was Kyle's brother … but I could have changed … I could learn to wear a Bikini or prance around in my underwear, or what ever she did for him?" Sarah admitted determinedly. she felt the buzz of chemicals running through her system, slowing her brain and reflexes, making her mind wonder to subject that she pushed to the side over the years come to the fore front.

"I can tell you with out hesitation that you are by far the prettiest gir… woman I have ever met. You are Derek's loss!" Lauren raised her second mug to the proclamation. Sarah took her mug and clinked it against Lauren's and drank a large part of it.

She shut her eyes and swayed to the sound of the Irish folk music that she remembered from childhood. Her father an Irish-American and her mother an English woman from Yorkshire, Sarah had grown up with such music around her home growing up and every time she heard it she wanted to dance, like she use to before her father left, before her mother was killed, before … everything. She usually repressed the urges, but with the Meer working through her brain she wasn't sure if she could rein it in this time.

"Are you ladies having fun!?" George asked coming up to the two women with a confident swagger.

She wasn't sure if it was the Meer but Sarah couldn't take her eyes off his dimples.

"Tons … you find a dumb broad that believes your horseshit lines yet?" Lauren asked uninterested at the man.

"Well, I don't think I need to, when the prize is right in front of me." He gave that gleam in his eye to Sarah that made her usual Bullshit meter melt due to Alcoholic interference.

"I'd watch yourself Georgie, her and Ryan are together." Lauren reminded him as well as Sarah. She glared at Lauren for trying to cock block her from having a good time with a lie.

"I don't think the _**Boy**_ Wonder will mind if his future bride has one dance with a good friend." George bowed with an aristocratic grace. Sarah was melting like June ice cream.

"No, I don't think he would." Sarah replied slightly slurred. Lauren rolled her eyes to the ceiling as she watched the two go to the dance floor.

Holding each other close the two began to dance in a hopping manner, gliding through the dance floor along with the other couples.

As Sarah moved and weaved with the music, she felt a great weight off her shoulders and heart. The happy mood of the party finally caught up with her. The words lefty had departed with echoed through her head.

She began to smile and laugh just a little bit when the world began to get blissfully fuzzy. She was relishing the loose feeling that she felt twirling with beat of the jig. When the song ended both halted. The immediate stop made her world spin and she began to wobble, using the handsome man as a support. She looked up into his eyes and without even seeing it coming she received a wet and passionate kiss to her lips.

She closed her eyes accepting the kiss and was about to kiss back when a horrible feeling in her gut told her that something was wrong. She opened her eyes and backed away not knowing what was wrong, but whatever was going on, it was sobering her up quickly.

"I'm … I'm sorry" She croaked. Her stomach was doing nasty summersaults and her brain was telling her that something was becoming deeply wrong.

She apologized again and walked quickly off the dance floor. Lauren watched her with a strange, almost worried look as she speed by the table. When she reached the door she began to jog outside.

It was anything but the quiet night she and Lauren and left before going inside. A large booming and rumbling drew her attention to the jagged hills several miles from the Garrison.

It was like the most spectacular and terrifying light show Sarah had ever seen in her life. With the intense glow came a large rumbling that sounded like a fireworks show in the middle of a thunder storm.

From the direction of the hills a pickup truck with some sort of weapon mounted on its bed rolled up nearly clipping Sarah. The driver was a Young woman with auburn hair and she left the motor running as she exited the vehicle and rushed toward Sarah.

"Eiling … Where the hell is the senior command?!!" the woman yelled at her with desperate need. Sarah didn't answer merely pointed to the party inside not sure what was going on.

The girl pushed past Sarah and sprinted like a track star into the Barracks.

She frowned for a moment, trying to piece together what was going on.

After a minute there was announcement from a loud voice.

"**Senior Command to the control bunker, everyone else General Quarter …!" **

There was a panicked but orderly exiting of the Barracks, as everyone turned there attention to the glowing rumbling.

Sarah decided that Senior Command or not she needed to know what was going on.

In a matter of minutes she was at the control bunker and slipped into the control room where men and women where at stations scrambling and typing furiously.

Over an intercom Sarah heard jumbles of voices calling out for help. The distorted sounds made her blood run cold, with the realization that there where hundreds of people dying only a several miles away.

A rough bump almost made her trip forward as the broad and older body of General Eiling brushed her aside and he walked into the middle of the chaos of the Command Center.

"Get me who ever is in charge there!" Eiling yelled over the reports being told to him. A statue esque blond woman handed him a telephone like devise connected to a large radio set.

"This is CP to Ghost Rider …" Eiling said with authority.

"_CP this is Ghost Rider. Where the hell have you been?!" _The familiar voice of Ryan made Sarah's stomach clench.

"Shut up, and explain to me why you're engaged?" Eiling demanded.

"_We moved under your orders!" _ Ryan argued. Eiling's face went red in anger.

"Ghost Rider, I gave no such order …" Eiling said furiously.

"_It doesn't matter anymore … Bravo Company is trapped in the valley and we have lost several squads in rescue attempts. We need Charlie Company to come to aid in freeing them!!" _Ryan voice was calm but there was a hint of agitation at the General's attempt at a petty argument.

Eiling pressed the phone against his chin in thought. Everyone had there eyes trained on the General as a smug smile formed on his lips. Something inside Sarah froze in fear for her Grandchild's life at the almost evil look in the man's eye.

"Ghost Rider, how many machines are in vicinity?" Eiling asked

"_The position crawls …!" _Ryan responded with the racket muffling his voice.

"Sir … I'll go get the boys geared up." She saw George addressing Eiling.

"Belay that, Major." Eiling ordered him still looking smug. "Ghost Rider, be advised, you are to hold your position till further instructed." Eiling said with a stiff command.

"_Negative … we are going in after Bravo. I'm not going to stay back and wait for a committee." _The tone he used stirred something in Sarah that made her proud to know he came from her blood.

"Understood Captain." Eiling nodded and gave the phone back to the statue esque blond. "Get me home plate." He barked. After several moments the blond handed the phone back to him.

"Home Plate this San Angelo firebase … I have a Red situation at coordinates …" Eiling leaned over to look at a computer screen and repeated them. "I need a complete dump off of everything you got on that position."

All the oxygen seemed to be sucked out of the room as he issued the orders. Sarah didn't know what he had just done, but it was bad enough that she spotted a woman at a computer station with both hands over her mouth.

"Sir … Those aren't reprogrammed metal … there soldiers, flesh and blood!" Captain Smyth said with disgust.

"Duly noted." Eiling said shortly.

"_San A we read your request, but you need to clarify it, sir." _A male voice echoed over the intercom.

"I want you to bomb the holy fuck out of the coordinates I just gave you." He yelled.

"_Copy that …air raid is ETA 7 minutes." _ The voice responded after a pause.

"Wait a minute!" Sarah said out loud as it all came rushing to her in a flash. Eiling was planning on napalming the entire valley with his men in it … with Ryan in it. "There are soldiers in that valley!' Sarah yelled.

"Your bed mate's screw up has handed us a golden opportunity here. If we can take out the entirety of Skynet's vanguard, then we can end this war quicker then thought possible." Eiling explained with an almost excited voice as if he was planning on winning a metal for such a deed.

"They're your men, your responsibility." Sarah said in shock.

"What is a soldier's life if not to be sacrificed for the greater good?" Eiling snarled before motioning his head to Sarah.

She felt large hands snatch her shoulders and arms and began to drag her out of the bunker.

"Wait … wait a minute!" Sarah struggled to free herself, but it was useless as she felt more and more people trying to restrain her.

"They're your soldiers … they're human!!" Sarah yelled as the room began to get disappear in the distance.

Once outside Sarah felt fists begin to pound themselves against her face and body. She fell to the ground and felt the air in her lungs escape her as a foot embedded it's self into her abdomen. She gasped for air before the shadows seemed to disappear and left her alone to groan into the dried turf.

Sarah turned over and looked over at the glowing battle field helplessly.

"_Run …run!" _Sarah begged hoping the swirling breeze would carry her gasped pleas to the person she was calling to. The firecracker sounds intensified as if something major was happening over there.

"God … please, run." Sarah felt her strength return. She pulled herself to her knees.

The sound of loud streaking Jet engines could be heard in the distance. Sarah desperately got to her feet.

"Run … get out." Sarah said quietly walking toward the cliffs.

As the streaking got closer and closer, Sarah felt a panic build in her gut causing her to begin to run as fast as she could toward the glowing and crackling cliffs.

A heated rush of wind passed above her and the drag of deafening sound behind it. Shadowed fighter planes passed over her head and toward the glowing skyline.

"RUN … RYAN RUN!!" her screams were drowned in the roar of the jet engines.

Sarah slid to her knees when the first seismic blast hit the ground. Fire balls illuminated the night sky as plane after plane dropped the payloads on the position shaking the ground violently.

The bombing ended after several minutes and everything went deathly silent. The wind swirled carrying with it an artificial heat from the bombing strafes.

Sarah bowed her head into the grass defeated, covering her head with her hands.

Her tears were the first water the parched grass has had in many years.

**You know I would love to be like Josh Friedman and let my work stand for itself, but … I don't think I can do that this time … ;)**

**Authors Notes**

**Alice is the product of Taylor Swift being looped to many times on the radio.**

**Alright so … Ryan was an arrogant jerk as a teenager. **

**Despite what you may think there isn't a gag or any crack shipping here. The whole Ryan and Sarah engagement thing was purely last second. See I was going to leave it as Alice knowing they're being related, but then it occurred to me that everyone is going to see Sarah as fishy for claiming to be a Connor. Then I was going to change it to there best friends, but then I shot myself in the foot last chapter. So in the end engagement answered all there problems. **

**Finally, the rape thing … look, I was just trying to show how much of a bastard Eiling was and to what lengths an infiltrator will let someone do to them to get the mission done. **

**Oh well hope you enjoyed. **


	14. Silent Night

**So this is part one of two, this one was all one chapter, but this bad boy was going to end up being like 10,000 words so I split it. **

**It's kind of fitting because these two chapters are going to answer a lot of big questions so … enjoy. **

**Silent Night **

**2024**

_The naval ship shook causing the groaning protest of rusted metal echoing through the dark and dank bowels of the engineering deck of the decrypted old aircraft carrier. The lights buzzed on and off as a large power surge rushed through the dated circuitry._

_The flickering lights gave little help to a wounded young soldier that was dragging himself with one arm away from a gorgeous half naked girl who had a dead look in her eyes as she dangled motionlessly from one of the engine turbines, tangled and constricted by loose hanging chains. Her skin torn all over her back and chest exposing shined newly polished metal underneath. _

_The young soldier grunted in extreme pain with every push as he dragged his battered body, pulling himself across the grimed floor. His breath ragged, he turned over on his back and opened his palm, revealing pieces of a sleek advanced looking chip. He felt something leaking from his right eye, though he had lost vision from it. He sneered in hatred at the lifeless teenage girl as if she had offended him greatly. _

_The searing pain from his cauterized stump that use to be his left arm to the numbed leaking in his blinded right eye, lead Ryan Connor to believe he was going to die that night, and God as his witness he took the machine that dared to imitate his mother down with him._

_As he was mustering his strength, a familiar voice called weakly from inside the room. _

"_Help me … please, somebody … help." The voice was so pained and scared that it put out the flame of vengeance in the young soldiers heart and urged him to spend the last of his strength to aid the feminine voice. _

_He dropped the broken chip to the ground. Then, Ryan used his forearm and elbow to drag himself into the room. There in a heap next to a metal table lay an exact replica of the girl dangling outside. _

_Allison Young had tears leaking from her scared doe eyes as she lay paralyzed from the neck down. Her painful whimpers urged Ryan forward till he was under the metal table where she lay. _

"_It's going to be okay." Ryan said as comforting as the pain would allow him to transfer through gritted teeth. _

"_I don't want to die." Allison said through painful sobs. _

"_No … you're not going to die …" Ryan shook his head, swallowing hard. Allison whimpered softly as he pulled closer to her. _

"_I …never got to see him." She admitted to the beaten soldier that was her same age. "Have you seen him?" She asked the confused soldier. _

"_Who?" Ryan gritted finally looming over her. _

"_John Connor" She answered. _

_It amazed Ryan how in the light of all she had been through, his mother (or future mother) could only think about his dad, a man she had never met before. _

"_Yeah … I've met him." Ryan said looking her over. Noticing that from the way she talked and the way she was perfectly still, she seemed to have a spinal injury. _

"_What's he like?" Allison asked in tears. _

_Ryan felt the bottom drop out from under him when it dawned, that she was paralyzed and most likely wouldn't make it out alive._

"_Please … what's he like?" Allison begged him. Ryan cleared his throat of emotion. _

"_He … uh … he's tall and muscular." Ryan said in deep heartache. "He has … spiky hair and green eyes. There is a strength about him …you trust him." He said as he watched the light began to fade in the girl's eyes. _

_A strange panic began to set into Ryan's gut. He wasn't sure what would happen to him if she died. Would he disappear? Would a reality form where he never existed? Whatever would happen, he didn't want to find out._

"_Hey! Look at me … look at me, you're not going to die. You just got to hang on … alright!" Ryan started to feel his strength leaving him as he tried to get Allison's fading attention. When it was apparent that his encouragement wasn't working, Ryan begged. _

"_You can't die … He needs you! You're the only one that can save him! Please … I need you!" Ryan said trying to control the urge to take her in his arm. Allison looked at him with sudden calmed eyes. Her face lightened and she sniffled gently. _

"_We have the same eyes." she observed, a loving smile was frozen on her lips as her soul departed. _

"_No … no, no, no … you can't leave. Please don't go!" Ryan's tears mixed with the leaking blood. Her death brought a crushing feeling on top of him that he had never felt before. Through the years of searching, he never gave up hope that his mother was out there. But now with her dead body under him it zapped not only his strength, but his will. _

_Not seeing the point of not shifting the body anymore, Supporting himself by placing his hand on her cold exposed abdomen. Ryan leaned down and kissed her temple. _

"_Please forgive a son, who's failed his mother." He gasped defeated. Suddenly his hand slipped off the smooth skin of her belly causing him to collapse face first onto her neck. Unable to get up he weakly turned his head and watched as a river of blood began to trickle from his eye down her lifeless chest. _

_Ryan wasn't sure how much time had past, but his vision began to blur. As things were fading, the sounds of quick purposeful foot falls enter the room. With the last of his strength, he turned himself over staring up at the dark canopy of the bottom of the metal table. _

_There was a sudden loud scraping and light flashed in his eye as he felt the rush of air and the loud crash of the metal table hitting the wall across the room. _

_Squinting, Ryan saw the outline of a familiar Angelic face that he just watched die. Her skin shimmered in the light as her brown eyes stared into his one. _

"_It's … not possible, I smashed your chip. I killed you." He stammered up deliriously at the young woman's cold face. She reached a hand out and Ryan closed his eye's awaiting it to wrap around his neck. But instead it cupped his cheek. Her hand was warm as it stroked him gently. The touch was comforting and familiar as it moved over his face studying every bloodied feature, every disfigured injury. Her face was contorted in unmachine like sadness for a moment, then to determination. _

"_Come on Cowboy, We're going home." Cameron said maternally. He felt hands grip his tattered overcoat and pull him off the ground and into the air. He blacked out as he felt his limp body being carried away. _

***

**2029**

The outside of the Medical building was being used as a triage with the main building being used for surgery. People where rushing in and out with medicine and equipment.

Ryan entered the building in the early evening. He had spent most of the morning and afternoon in a defensive position just in case the Machines decided to counter attack. When it became obvious they didn't plan to, He took whatever was left of both companies and lead them back to the Command Post. His clothing was synged and a scorch mark marred his left cheek, but due to a genetic disposition to luck, Ryan was largely unhurt.

The sweet sickly smell of burnt human flesh mixed with the metallic of fresh blood numbed his senses as he walked into the Field Hospital. His brown Motorcycle Boots made distinctive thuds as he walked on the wooden boards of the blood soaked floor. He passed table after table of wounded soldier, Some where grunting in pain, some where unconscious. Ryan moved out of the way of a nurse, who rushed to the side of a screaming teen who just woke up to find his leg amputated.

Eventually he found who he was looking for.

Barnes was laid out on one of the main surgical tables. His eyes where closed but he was groaning loudly and shifting his head. Lauren was standing over him, her long mousy brown hair was a tangled mess and she wore an apron that was covered with blood. When she saw Ryan she gave a small sigh of relief.

"We had to drug him. The pain might have caused him to have a heart attack." Lauren addressed the young Officer who nodded in response. Ryan looked Barnes over; he had scorch marks all over his body. His right arm had most of the skin cooked off, with his bones and joints appearing where his fingertips and nails should be. The entirety of his left leg was black and crusted over, making it smell much to the likes of over roasted meat. At the alien presence standing in front of him, Barnes opened his eyes to get a better look at who it was.

"_What it do, Cowboy?" _Barnes sighed out in a drugged daze. The comment made Ryan smile slightly to see him still himself somewhat.

"Hey, Barnes." Ryan nodded.

"_How'd it go, Rye … you save my …boys?" _Barnes asked semi conscious.

"Some of them …" Ryan answered clearing his throat. Barnes shook his head.

"_Another metal for your stack, huh?" _Barnes asked with a half smile.

"Yeah, another goddamn metal for the Connor family …" Ryan sighed. Barnes looked up at him seriously.

"_How … How bad?" _Barnes sounded desperate.

"Don't worry about it …" Ryan shook his head.

"_Don't you patronize me, boy. Give it to me straight." _Barnes breathed out causing Lauren to place a hand on his chest to calm him.

"Seventy-five percent … Company B has less then twenty soldiers." Ryan answered some what hesitantly. Barnes looked like someone had punched him in the gut and he lay back down on the table.

"_They had us pinned …hittin us all over … then just as you got there …they bombed us …goddamn robots …bombed us." _Barnes said bitterly looking up at the ceiling with a slurred accent as the drugs began to take effect.

"Barnes …" Ryan started, but Lauren gave him a strict look, but it was too late.

"_What …?" _Barnes looked up at him. Despite Lauren's silent protest Ryan answered.

"Skynet … Skynet didn't drop the bombs on us. It was Eiling, he ordered the Air Strike on your position." Ryan said cleared his throat of emotion as the look Barnes had of pure betrayal made him feel truly sick to his stomach.

"_My … My Command …one hundred and fifty …they're gone." _Barnes began to mumble as the sedative finally took hold.

"I need to start, Rye." Lauren said with a sad sigh. Ryan nodded and gave Barnes a clap on the shoulder and made his way outside.

***

Ryan walked out of the Hospital and stood at the entrance.

The space between the Command Bunker and the Field Hospital was filled with surviving wounded and dying that no doctor could help.

He sighed sadly placing his hands on his hips looking out at what was left of his Command. A pain in his heart remained from his visit to the man that had been like family to him since he could remember. It hurt his soul to see such a broken and betrayed look on Barnes's face after learning about Eiling's air raid.

"Ryan …" Sidney came up to him as he stared out at the wounded.

"Hey …" Ryan cleared his throat and wiped his glassy eyes with his jacket sleeve before turning and giving her a smile.

"The rest of the Battalion is headquartered at an old mission a couple of miles down the road near some woods by the river." She reported professionally. Ryan seemed to be lost in emotional thoughts for several beats.

"Alright … give word to the officers … to get who's ever able down there." Ryan ordered scratching the back of his raven haired head. Sidney saluted and after a small comforting smile she left her Commanding Officer to himself again.

Ryan watched her leave, then began to walk amongst the wounded, navigating through them, avoiding the medics and nurses that where checking patients or comforting the dying. Every once in a while a dazed soldier would give him a salute.

As he was reaching the end of his inspection a wounded soldier caught a hold of his black fatigue pants. Ryan looked down to see a young man in his teens that had several cauterized wounds on him. He had stormy grey eyes and black hair. He looked familiar, but Ryan couldn't tell why.

"Sir … Oh, sorry." He said straining as he made a quick salute. Ryan knelt next to him and returned the salute.

"What can I do for you, Private?" Ryan asked compassionately taking the boys hand.

"Permission to be dismissed from my duties; so, I can find my family, sir?" The teen asked sternly as to sound as much like a hardened soldier as possible. Ryan looked into his eyes for a moment and had a feeling he knew what he meant.

"Do you know where they are?" Ryan asked tilting his head.

"A very good idea, sir …" The young man said looking to the sky for a moment. Ryan gritted his teeth trying to hold back the tears that where threatening to fall.

"… Permission granted." nodding his head. The teen's face lightened for a moment and he looked Ryan in the eye with eternally grateful smile.

"Thank you, sir." He saluted slowly before lying back down on the grass and looked up to the sky. Ryan watched as the soldier's breathing stop.

"Rest easy …" Ryan closed the boy's eyes with his gloved hand and slapped his chest friendly. Ryan waved a near by Medic that was making his rounds. Ryan spied something in the young man's hand and picked it up.

In a snap photo was the same teen sitting next a familiar beautiful round faced girl with long curled hair. Both looked like they were closely related. Ryan lowered his head sadly as he griped the photo of Alex and her brother as they smiled into the Polaroid camera arm in arm.

Ryan breathed harshly as he watched the orderlies throw a blanket over the body and carry it away.

Unable to hold his emotions in check he walked till he was alone in a secluded area away from everyone. He tiredly pulled off the headset still sitting on his head and sat on the burnt over turf like grass and watched the sun began to set on the quiet day.

"Three commands lost in four days … pride of the family." Ryan said out loud counting his losses in the past several days. He sniffled tiredly and shook his head staring at the headset. Tears streamed down his left eye glancing at how happy the siblings where in the picture. After a moment he sighed gathering himself back and pocketed the picture.

The crunching of grass caught his attention as a slender female in fatigues sat very close to him and said nothing as she stared at what he was staring at.

"So I guess I have you to thank for last night's botch up in orders?" Ryan's tired and sad face hardened when he addressed the girl next to him.

"Yes …" Cameron replied simply. Ryan nodded his head bitterly at the girl's cold demeanor as they sat touching shoulders and thighs.

"So … are you here to kill me?" Ryan asked turning his head to the brown eyed girl. She turned and stared into identical eyes, there faces where inches apart.

"Yes …" she replied again. Ryan sucked in a breath and set his jaw.

"Why not do it now?" He said calmly looking once again at the sunset. Cameron continued to stare at him.

"Now is not opportune." She deadpanned her voice, but behind the machine posturing there was an air of confusion as if she wasn't sure about something.

"So when is this opportune moment?" He asked.

"You'll know it, when it happens." Cameron answer was short and ominous.

"Why tell me about it then …?" Ryan returned to the staring contest. This time the machine turned her head back to the sunset.

"I don't know?" She admitted. Ryan frowned at her.

There was a few quiet moments as questions swam in his subconscious.

"The diner?" Ryan asked after another quiet minute.

"A test of your strength" Cameron replied quickly.

"Then who put your chip back?" he pushed.

"You know who did it … and you know why." Cameron addressed him slowly. Ryan shook his head disbelievingly.

"No, she's not going to do it … it's not something you can program someone like her to do." Ryan laughed mockingly at the angelic looking young woman.

"She can … and she will. It's only a matter of time, but you have a choice. You can stop her before it happens." Cameron said almost like she was telling him instead of warning him. Ryan shook his head again, his youthful face turned hard.

"I won't do it … but then you know that already." The young soldier scoffed.

"Yes, you love her very much and that is why Skynet's plan will succeed, because you love." Cameron sounded almost sympathetic.

"What would you know about love?" He said dismissively.

"I know that one day such an emotion will blind you to your death." her words struck something deep inside Ryan that caused him to once again share look with the machine. There was a silent but fierce look in his eyes.

"I won't kill her." Ryan restated angrily.

"No, you won't. But, then, I'll kill you … and she'll kill John Connor." Cameron tone was foreboding with a very unmachine like anger, as if the outcome is not to her liking. Ryan wasn't scared in fact he grinned arrogantly at the machine's statement.

"And what do you think you're going to do with a dead Ryan Connor?" He asked confidently.

Cameron tilted her head and reached out and handed Ryan his rucksack. Shoved Inside was a torn strapless wedding gown.

Standing she answered him ruthlessly.

"I'm going to put your head on a pike and hang it from John Connor's door."

***

Sarah sat amongst the senior staff of Company C in an old church. The area was like something out of an old rustic painting with the old style mission church on top of a hill and the small Mexican village below. The inside was very beautiful with old Spanish architecture and stain glass windows. The entire holy sanctuary was decorated with a Christmas tree, tinsel, and lights on the inside.

The small town seemed to have been untouched by not only Judgment Day but the war itself, despite being spared from the horrors of war, the towns people where more then willing to show generosity to the 132nd, giving the soldiers shelter and sharing there food stores.

Sarah had been escorted there by several soldiers on charges of insubordination, but was released under Lefty's supervision. She had spent all day there in the 132nd new headquarters. For most of the day she had been quiet, not talking to anybody though some tried under the assumption that her fiancé had been blown half to Hell. However around late afternoon word reached back to them that Ryan was alive, which in turn returned Sarah to normal. However, the hours she spent mourning the young Connor made her question some things.

In truth Sarah wasn't sure why she felt such devastation. She had only been in Ryan's company several days and most of the time she gave him a hard time, which is typical Sarah Connor behavior toward anyone, but maybe it was the fact that he was a part of John and in extension a part of her that made her feel so guilty, so sad for not getting to know him better. Maybe she could have cut him some slack or shown him a little more compassion. But he was alive now and so she could focus on getting to John again.

It was strange, but when she thought that Ryan was dead, the need to find John began burning in her like a white hot flame. It was a frustrating sensation, like if she didn't get to John soon she might bust.

"Sarah" A southern accent called to her. She turned back to the conversation she had lost at the table she was sitting at with George, Eric, Alice, and lefty, in front of the Altar. "Now think on this a moment …" lefty said seriously.

Sarah put on her best humored listening face.

"Say you're the only human on the planet … after several years wouldn't you feel a tad bit lonely … I mean wouldn't you want someone to be with you, like a companion?" He asked. Sarah frowned not sure what he was getting at, but then she hadn't been paying attention either.

"Umm … I guess so … sure?" she shook her head giving the question a quick thought.

"See, look any sentient being eventually wants a compatible mate or companionship of some sort, so why wouldn't Skynet be any different?" Lefty argued to everyone else.

"Because, Skynet's a computer." Eric said with a sigh tossing down his cards.

"But a sentient being none the less … so why wouldn't it just create itself a mate?" Alice piped in.

"See … more support." Lefty grinned smugly.

"Alice doesn't count; she doesn't even know how to read." Eric scoffed, earning him a hand gesture from the girl that Sarah wasn't sure what it meant, but was pretty sure it was suppose to be insulting.

"Speaking of mates and loneliness, I remember this time during the Topanga Campaign. There was this one girl who had two boyfriends each in a different squad in Company B and she would spend time with each one while the other was on patrol. When one was off then she go have sex with the other and when the other was gone she have sex with the other guy … it was damnedest thing to see." George's story caused some in the group to laugh.

"Dammit, George what the hell does that have to do with anything we're talking about!?" Lefty smiled but addressed his CO with a stern voice.

Sarah gave a distracted smile and turned her attention to several trucks that drove up the dirt road. When the trucks arrived in front of the church, she saw tattered and worn soldiers jump out of the vehicles.

Her attention was drawn away from the stain glass, when the older Priest who had been gracious enough to let them use the church and the hill walked out to greet the newly arrived soldiers with a first aid kit and a pale of water.

When the sound of groaning engines and indistinct yelling ceased with a large slam of the double doors Sarah returned her focus to the people in front of her. Apparently the conversation had shifted to Frankenstein to which everyone (including Sarah) got lost in the analogy used by the old Captain.

When Alice's illiteracy came back up the sound of the double doors opened again and closed slowly. From the corner of her eye, Sarah saw the old man walk by. However another presence made it way toward the table with distinctive thuds. Sarah ignored it, because messengers and couriers had been in and out for several hours now.

"Ah, Ryan, you're just in time, we're just discussing the existential loneliness of sentient beings." Lefty addressed the figure behind Sarah. She immediately snapped her head toward the recipient of the greeting.

Ryan looked tired and ate up. His gun/utility belt was over his buttoned up Leather jacket that was scorched and synged. Along with his stubbly left cheek and bandana. His Plasma Rifle hung behind his back and the rucksack she abandoned was over his shoulder.

"Is that right?" he said with fake interest.

"We were trying to discuss the idea that Skynet might attempt to create another sentient mind as a companion, However George refuses to accept it." Alice stuttered out nervously in an attempt to sound intelligent.

"This is true and I here by order them to drop such traitor like dialog in a sanctuary such as this." George announced.

"Well … George, lots of beings who can think for themselves feel lonely sometimes …" Ryan explained tiredly.

"Not George, How can he be lonely when his ego is with him all the time?" Lefty addressed the man. Ryan shook his head and stuffed his hands in his Jacket pockets.

"Captain Phillips, for all our sakes I will end this conversation here and now!" George stood as if he was going to make a grand gesture.

"Awesome …" Ryan stated flatly.

"There are some of you that believe Robot's can fall in love … there even might be some of you here that would actually marry a Terminator, but I _**dare **_the man to step forward and claim that John Connor would willingly marry a Machine!" George walked around the table addressing each member penitently before stopping and throwing an arm around Ryan's shoulder as if it gave his claims validation. For the first time since leaving Ryan and Sarah shared a look followed by Ryan rolling his eyes to the sky in annoyance.

"You know there's just this feeling I get when I remember that if something happens to Perry your in command here." Ryan said with a hint of sarcasm. George seemed to have missed the tone of his voice.

"Thank you"

"No problem"

He walked back to his seat when the Priest came up to the young Officer with a bucket.

"¿Agua?" The old man offered a tin cup.

"Gracias" Ryan took the cup.

"How's Barnes?" lefty asked as Ryan gulped down the water.

"… He'll live … probably lose an arm and maybe a leg." Ryan sighed tiredly with a pang of sadness as he placed the cup back in the bucket and nodded in thanks as the Priest left.

"I'm sorry about not being there, last night." Alice said genuinely remorseful. Ryan waved her off.

"It wouldn't have mattered, one way or another, babe … it would take more then a Regiment to hold that valley." Ryan scrubbed his face. Alice smiled and gave a small content sigh at being addressed as _'babe". _

"We heard what you did to save Barnes and his Command … it was one Hell of a job." Eric said raising a flask.

"Not really, I only pulled out about sixteen and some wounded before Eiling's _"Guardian Angels" _sounded the trumpets." He replied bitterly. There was a quiet silence that hung over the group as the events of that night was still hard to swallow for everyone.

"Want to sit?" Alice asked after a moment.

"No … I just came for my orders seeing that Perry is still not here yet." Ryan motioned to George.

"How many are left in Alpha and Bravo?" he asked the Captain.

"I have forty-eight and Bravo has about a platoon's worth. But we're all pretty shot up." Ryan responded.

"Split Bravo into squads and reinforce Alpha with them. I'm placing you in reserve in the town tonight, but we may need you in the morning especially if Skynet decides to launch a counter strike." Sarah was surprised because this was the first time she heard George actually sound anything remotely like a Soldier. "Also I would like to inform you that your attractive fiancé … is currently in the Stockade, so to speak." He motioned to Sarah who glared at George who still was bitter at her for running out on there kiss, which she was still trying to block out. Ryan frowned in confusion at fiancé, but pressed on in the conversation.

"What did you do?" He snorted at Sarah.

"She went Ape shit on Eiling after he gave the orders for the Air Strike." Lefty chuckled fondly giving her a rub on the shoulder. Ryan gave her an interested, but weary look.

"I think you and him are going to have a large disagreement one day." Ryan smiled sarcastically. Sarah nodded with raised eyebrows. "She's isn't in any sort of major trouble is she?" Ryan asked her. Sarah shook her head with a shrug.

"No … we have just kept her around, because she's nice to look at." Lefty winked at a glaring Sarah.

"Well if that's case, then I'm going to go set up in town. I'll send word when I get my own HQ going." Ryan said tiredly.

"Sounds like plan, Captain." George sighed at his cards.

"With your permission, Major?" Ryan saluted. George smiled wirily and returned it. But instead of leaving, Ryan walked up and leaned over Sarah's shoulder. _"When you're done here … come find me." _He whispered and gave her a small kiss on the temple, like John would do sometimes. Sarah smiled in surprise and watched him leave the church alone.

There was a silence that hovered over the table for a moment as everyone stared at there cards awkwardly.

"So, lefty … how many of your Prom dates were Robots?"

"Meh …"

***

It was nightfall when Sarah finally made it out of the church and into the cold darkness. She had her arms wrapped around herself as she listened to the crackling of gravel under her combat boots. Using the light of the full moon, she hiked down the hill toward the small Mexican town below.

She observed that the town had a sort of _Deljalo_ feel to it. It was small and old looking with a mix of adobe and stone buildings. When she reached the out skirts she walked by several shacks that some of the residents were using as housing.

Sarah got a strange almost tight feeling in her belly as she watched family after family bury there prized possessions in the dirt floor of the shacks and packing up others. She knew that it meant only one thing. The people knew that the Machines were on their way.

**Trying to post part two tonight …**

**Wish me luck ;) **


	15. Nostalgia

**So, I'm writing these authors notes as my family is packing to go on our first road trip since like … high school (which there is a reason for that) LOL … but I digress. **

**So this is part two from my earlier post this week. I would have finished but I got distracted because it was by birthday on Monday, then I was really busy chasing the joker through an asylum, but I have finished this one. **

**Oh … and before I go I would like to thank Castilian for your PM. I will take your advice to heart. ;) **

**Enjoy **

**Nostalgia**

"_Nostalgia: the longing to return to the past" _

The small Mexican town's streets were deathly silent despite being outlined with the rows of what was left of Companies, Alpha and Bravo.

It was a whiplash change for Sarah, who had been in the presence of the always upbeat and laid back Company C for most of the day. But the soldiers in front of her were neither. Silent and tired, those who survived the horrible blunder of the other night had very little to celebrate and very little to be happy about. Two days ago they numbered just above one hundred and thirty and now there was barely enough to fill two platoons. There was an air of sad heartedness that lingered on the dirty and scorched faces of the dazed men and woman Sarah passed.

As she walked she found a small nativity scene that sat in the middle of town. Boxes and carved gifts were placed in front of an empty manger. A lavished but worn altar was placed in front of the scene with lit candles and a crucifix. Sarah saw a familiar figure on his knees in front of the alter praying. Her hardened face softened and quietly she approached, as not to disturb him.

"_El padre divino, me perdona por favor para los pecados que he comentado en ignorancia y me da una muestra de su dirección en mi época de la necesidad." _Ryan whispered quietly in Spanish, his eyes where closed and his voice was troubled as if he was plagued with indecision. Sarah wasn't sure what he had meant with his prayer, but she had a feeling that it was about something weighing on his mind. When he was done he crossed himself and stood up. He jumped when he turned and saw Sarah standing there.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you." Sarah said apologetically. Ryan caught his breath and tiredly closed his eyes accepting the apology. "Something on your mind tonight?" She asked pointing to the three lit candles on the Altar.

"That's an understatement …" Ryan sighed with a chuckle.

"You think he's going to help?" Sarah motioned to the Crucifix. Ryan turned to look at it.

"I sure hope so." He said seriously. His tone caused her to frown in concern.

"Something you'd like to share?" She shook her head. Ryan gave her a look of concentration for a moment before he sighed.

"No, not tonight." Ryan answered running his flesh and blood hand through his matching raven haired head. He turned and began walking toward an old building that had a door open. Sarah followed shivering a little when the wind kicked up. Ryan saw the small motion and turned back and walked next to her blocking the wind with his body. She gave him a grateful look as they entered the building.

The adobe building was a small home, with an old iron stove burning, a wooden table with Ryan's plasma rifle lying on top of a worn map, and several chairs. The entire house was lit by an electric lantern that sat on the table There was only one other room in the house, a bare bedroom with a cot with a soft mattress on top.

Ryan sighed tiredly and closed the wooden door behind Sarah. After several moments the heat from the stove began to become trapped in the small home, warming it considerably. Both Connors stood by the stove warming themselves quietly not sure what to say to each other. Luckily the awkward silence was cut short by a knock.

"Come in." Ryan called. The door opened and the same auburn haired young woman from the other night stuck her head in the door.

"Rye …?" she called cautiously.

"Yeah, Sid?" Ryan looked at her.

"Jake … I mean Lieutenant Crowley is looking for you." The woman replied.

"Send him here … and uh … ask CP to send some rations and supplies. Then, see that we commandeer some of these empty buildings for lodging?" Ryan asked politely. The girl nodded and saluted giving Sarah a hard almost larger then life look, like she was staring at a celebrity or famous athlete. After a beat she swallowed and left.

Ryan warmed his hands for a moment longer, then walked to the table and began to undo his utility belt around his waist.

"So you got arrested, huh?" He asked with a humored smile. Sarah gave a light smile back and tilted her head.

"Wasn't my intention to be." Sarah said turning to face him.

"It's alright; I've had my share of scuffles with the Jackass." He said placing the belt on the table and began to unbutton his Leather Jacket.

"So I've heard …" She smiled knowingly, causing him to lift an eyebrow. Just then another knock cut there conversation short.

"Come in" Ryan called again. This time a tall broad man with a pale complexion and buzzed brunet hair walked in. he had a straight posture and his strong jaw was set in an angry pose.

"What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" Ryan asked. The man gave Sarah a quick look before turning his head back to Ryan.

"I would like a transfer of assignment, sir." The man's voice was powerful and filled with restraint anger. Ryan frowned and pulled up a chair and sat with a creak. He motioned to one of the chairs. The Lieutenant shook his head and continued to stand at attention.

"Why?" Ryan asked simply.

"Permission to speak freely?" the man asked sternly. Ryan nodded crossing his arms.

"Eiling … The man is an absolute disgrace to Tech-Com. I mean he ordered an attack on that valley with little regard for the situation, and then he ordered an Air package on top of us in the middle of a rescue mission! … You where there … you and me and Rosaline we're all there when the bombs where dropped on us like we're dirt or worst …!" the man yelled taking out all his rage on a quiet Ryan who was giving the larger man his undivided attention with a passive face. Sarah felt painful guilt as the man stopped, his large chest was heaving and his hazel eyes where glassy.

"Continue …" Ryan said neutrally placing his gloved knuckles under his nose.

"Well … I mean … Colonel Connor … Cameron, would have never have ordered an attack with the machines clearly baitin us and not enough Intel on the ground with only half the unit concentrated. … Hell, a blind man could have seen it was a trap!" the man yelled again stopping only to regroup himself with the released anger causing him to skip words in sentences. After a moment he collected himself and once again stood at attention. "I refuse to serve under a _butcher _who sees his own soldiers as something less then human … so I respectfully request another assignment away from this Campaign, sir?" he asked with a voice that was trying very hard to hold back emotions. Ryan shifted before he stood and sighed looking at the man with kind eyes but a stern face.

"Lieutenant Crowley, you've been a part of this command along time, and your expertise and experience has been invaluable to this unit. You're a good man and I look forward to seeing you taking my place here, but I can't spare you now." Ryan said respectively.

"Rye …" Crowley protested.

"There is another fight coming and we need every man. I know your grievances with Eiling and I have them too. But, I need everyone here and so does your platoon." Ryan interrupted clasping a friendly hand on the older man's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jake." Ryan frowned sadly.

The man gave a bitter look to the wall and saluted sharply before turning to leave.

"Jake, I'm sorry about Rosaline … I know she loved you very much." Ryan called as the Officer reached the door.

"She was a good soldier, and an amazing wife … and soon the rest of our men will end up sharing her fate." He replied bitterly slamming the door on his way out.

A silence once again stilled the bare home as Ryan rubbed his eyes tiredly and shook his head. Sarah was unsure how to describe her feelings as the sad hearted feeling crept its way into the home, dragging Ryan down with it.

"I'm uh … I'm sorry." Ryan cleared his throat giving her a quick and faded smile. Sarah felt like Ryan was apologizing to her for failing miserably at something.

"You don't have to apologize to me." Sarah consoled with a serious face.

"After the last couple of days I feel like I owe someone one." Ryan sat back in the wooden chair and bend over, placing his hands on his face wearily.

"Don't …" was all Sarah could muster to say to a very broken looking Officer, Unsure on how to help him without it being awkward, she decided to let him sort things out in his head by himself.

"You know it's funny that he sighted Mom in his rant … if he only knew." He chuckled, sighing he lent back in the chair and looked at his gloved hand.

***

**2024**

_Ryan was in out of consciousness for several hours. He felt himself pressed against a small feminine back as someone carried him cautiously through a blurred nightmare of twisted rebar and rubble. He became self-aware only three times in those couple of days. _

_The first was when the female laid him on the dirty ash. The jolt of the hard ground woke him from his coma. He groaned weakly as his only eye squinted at the fuzzy figure that was looming over him. He felt a warm hand gently take his cheek; he closed his eye at the touch for a moment. Then he panicked as another hand gripped his Combat Knife hidden in his Motorcycle boot. Ryan reached for the hand weakly grasping the smooth wrist in protest. _

"_It's alright …Ryan … it's alright." He heard his mother quietly reassure him. _

"_No … you're not her." Ryan fought the Beauty weakly. After not feeling the sharp pain of a knife being driven into him, he settled down. He saw a blurred cutting motion above him almost like she had mutilated herself. _

"_Come here." Cameron said lifting him against her with one hand while the other was pinched to her neck. Ryan's head lolled causing her to gently place his him under her chin. Ryan felt his dried lips gaze smooth skin till he his they were touching her thumb. Then, she slipped it away and a warm liquid oozed into his mouth. The thick irony tag caused him to struggle against the hand that was forcing him to ingest it. _

"_Ryan … Ryan, you are dehydrated and I have no water … you need to drink." Cameron Commanded steeling her grip on the back of his neck. Unable to fight her any longer he slowly placed his mouth against her neck and let the warm synthetic blood flow down is throat. Things went black, when she gently removed him from her. _

_The next time he was awoken by Cameron herself who this time had his upper body cradled in her arms. _

"_Ryan, you are low on carbohydrates, you need to eat this." Cameron placed a blurry square in front of his eyes. Ryan weakly reached for it and pulled it out of her light grip. He placed it against his mouth, but was unable to effectively bite the hardened cracker like square. _

"_I can't … I can't." He wheezed shaking his head. Cameron took the square from his hand and analyzed it. Ryan was about to black out when a rough snap and girding brought him back into his hazed consciousness. _

"_Open your mouth." Cameron said through purposeful chewing. Ryan weakly did so, no longer fighting her. He felt her fingers gently open his mouth a little wider. Then a shadow blurred his vision as soft lips pressed against his and he felt a slugged oatmeal like muck transfer from her mouth to his, he coughed struggling to swallow it. He had help from Cameron, who took her thumbs and rubbed his throat gently, helping him ingest the protein. After he had swallowed, she bit off another piece and chewed and once again pressed her lips against his, feeding him. After more then half the square was gone, she stopped and gently stroked his beanie clad head, pulling on the locks of curled raven hair sticking out. _

"_I'm sorry, this happened." She said kissing his brow as he blacked out again. _

_The final time he was conscious it was because of a numbing cold that ran through his body. He was disturbed by the feather light snow flakes that where landing on his face. Ryan was sure he had never been this cold in his entire life as he shivered uncontrollably._

"_Mom …" Ryan felt so childish for calling her, but he knew that this was probably the last time he'll be awake and he wouldn't mind seeing someone he loved at the moment, even if she was just a hallucination._

_Hands griped his uniformed overcoat and lifted him effortlessly out of the snow drift and under cover in a cove. His breath was ragged as the numb feeling began to spread up his body. _

_I'm sorry … that I couldn't … save you that I hesitated when you … needed me most." Ryan shivered out. From his hazed vision he saw Cameron stripping off her clothing quickly. _

"_It wasn't your fault … you did all you could." Cameron said consolingly as he felt hands undo his overcoat and then his fatigue shirt leaving both open, exposing his Navy blue undershirt. Then Cameron laid her naked body on top of him wrapping her arms underneath his layers and around his torso pressing herself against him. He felt her smooth cheek pressed against face as she rubbed his back warmly. A whirring sound caught his ear, when all the sudden Cameron's naked body started to feel like a heating pad. The numbness slowly dissolved giving him a small moment of comfort. His mind began to dissolve into nothingness as the world flashed on and off with his final act he wrapped his only arm around Cameron's silky back and pressed his face into her cheek. _

_And in his last moments of alertness he let himself believe that she was hugging him, because she was happy to see him. _

_Then Black. _

***

"What happened to Cameron?" Sarah asked as she stared at Ryan who was lost in memories. He gave Sarah a pained look and stared at the glowing fire in the stove.

After a tense silence Ryan spoke

"It was around this time, when I was Ten … Dad had yelled at me for something that I can't even remember anymore. I was on my way back to our room when I felt like something was wrong. You know, I couldn't quiet pinpoint what it was … just there was something off. It wasn't the lights or the hallway; there was just something … wrong. So I raced to go tell mom who was waiting for me in our Quarters. When I got inside …" Ryan cleared his throat for a moment before continued. "When I got to the room, Mom was naked and pinned to the cot and this liquid metal was oozing it's self on to her. In my entire life I've never seen mom so scared. My instincts took over and I raced and grabbed your old shotgun, I pumped it and pointed it straight at it. Then … I hesitated. I sat there watching this thing eating my mother whole … and I didn't react. All I saw was mom's horrified look, while this sleek mannequin looking figure was looking at me, just daring me to stop it. It was the only time I ever saw mom cry." Ryan's body tensed as he stared into the fire.

"What happened?" Sarah asked watching the pure regret evident on his face.

"Dad busted through the door, I guess he felt that there was something off too. He shoved me out of the way and into the wall. I hit my head and was knocked unconscious. When I woke up Mom was gone … Dad told me to pack my stuff and we started to search for her. … Dad never treated or looked at me the same way again. I guess, I don't blame him for blaming me for what happened." Ryan said remorsefully. Sarah felt a stinging in her heart with the thought of John, her son John Connor ever blaming a child for something.

"Weeks turned to months and months turned to years. Chasing one dead end after another, eventually it started to take its toll on dad mentally. He started to argue with you in his sleep. He would beg you to understand that he couldn't live without mom. Soon, he was full out having conversations with your ghost. We would be in the middle of the Central American rainforest when he would just start to talk, asking you for directions or what a track meant." Ryan turned to Sarah, just staring at her face searching her eyes for something that she wasn't quiet she had.

"Then, one morning we where camping in the middle of the Chilean mountains. I woke up to find him standing there looking out at the ranges, he had Mom and his wedding picture in his hand. He just stood there, all day just staring … then just as the sun set he told me to pack my stuff, we where going back home. … I told him, that Mom wouldn't stop trying to find us, so why should we stop looking for her? Dad ignored me, so I reminded him that she came across time for him, that she loved him … and then he told me something that till this day I will never forget." Ryan's face hardened. Sarah frowned and studied him for a second.

"He looked me straight in the eye and told me _"don't be naïve … they don't know love" _then he tossed the picture into the dying camp fire. I saved the picture and told him he was insane and a quitter and that I didn't need him to find Mom. So he left me there that night and I didn't see him again for two more years." Ryan shook his head. Sarah didn't know what to think. There was a part of her that wouldn't believe that her son, the boy she loved more then anything she could ever want or have, could just simply leave his own flesh and blood in the wilderness. But then she knew that John had become obsessed like she had. John had found his three dots and there name was Cameron.

"Where did you go?" Sarah asked.

"I ran into some smugglers in Peru who made runs into Asia supplying Resistance units there. I made the trip with them on there ship, Picked up some back street fighting skills from the sailors. Then, chased some busted leads in China before ending up trapped in a Tibetan snow storm, where I was saved by a martial arts master named I-Chin. He taught me everything he knew about fighting. Then one day out of the blue while in the Goby I get a letter from a Kate saying that Dad was hurt and that he needed me. So I returned to the states. Took me a year to get back, but I eventually did. Turned out Dad had destroyed Skynet Central with the help of some half man half machine prototype named _Marcus, _who donated his heart to save Dads life. I also founded out that Dad had remarried some doctor named Kate. It pissed me off that I he could just forget about mom like that and move on. I was about to leave again when the liquid metal came back and took Kate with it. I was leaving when they pulled me back. But there was a difference this time … Dad didn't go after Kate like he did Mom. He ordered a search party, twelve soldiers and some how I got roped in as the scout. We chased the metal for three weeks and then for some reason, Kate ended up in the hands of steel. He raped and tortured her for months while we chased him and his thugs through three states until we found her mutilated hand off a cliff face." Ryan stopped there catching his breath for a second.

Sarah walked up to him and put both hands on his shoulders in her own way of telling him that he didn't need to say anymore. Ryan didn't turn to acknowledge her he just steadied his breath and closed his eyes. Sarah removed her hands and took a chair and sat next to Ryan.

Sarah had learned in watching Cameron with John that sometimes the best way to deal with a moody Connor is not to say anything, but to make it known that you are there, by being in close proximity. So Sarah sat close to Ryan, no stroking or whispering consoling reassurance, she simply sat and every once in a while stare at him.

"We buried Kate and her baby and went back home. I told Dad …" Ryan was no longer talking to Sarah. He was simply reliving the experiences with his own personal narration.

"How did he react?" Sarah asked. Ryan shook his head.

"He didn't, he went on business as usual … I think Kate was just a blur … a woman that he tried to romance to forget Mom, but he just couldn't. Mom was his one and only. When she was kidnapped, she took Dad's humanity with her." Ryan observed. Sarah once again related, after Kyle's death every man she was with became blurs, Blurs of payment Sex and training. Even Charlie in the end didn't quite matter to her. But there was one exception, Derek. He slowly weaved his way into her heart, the only thing that got in there way was the fact that he was Kyle's brother and it confused her. Was she in Love with Derek, or was she projecting Kyle on to him?

"I decided to stay on and enlist fully at Derek's urging. So I became a proud member of the 132nd." Ryan added with finality no longer wishing to continue. Sarah nodded; she gave a tired scratch to her ear.

Once again a knock graced the wooden door.

"Yeah!" Ryan said with an annoyed role of his eyes. The door opened and the statue esque blond from the other night entered the room.

"Captain, Colonel Perry is here and would like to see you, sir." The pretty woman reported quick and professional like, with a cold face. Ryan blinked wearily, and then nodded with a half hearted salute. The woman returned it crisply and left.

"You want me to come with you?" Sarah asked with what John dubbed Sarah's "Mommy voice". Ryan laughed out loud at her.

"Oh no, I think you've gotten both of us in trouble for one day." Ryan chuckled, standing up with a stretch. Sarah frowned at his comment standing up with him. Ryan walked over to his bag and pulled out the Army blanket and wrapped it around her. "Get some sleep … I know you need it just as much as I do." Ryan sighed shuffling toward the table and grabbing his gun belt, attaching it back to his hip. Sarah watched for a moment as she removed the blanket off her and folded it as she watched him go toward the door.

"Ryan …" Sarah called pursing him, tossing the blanket on the table.

"Yeah …" He stopped at the door and shot her a light hearted look. She wasn't sure how to do what she wanted or best way to approach it … but after his near death experience and his story. Sarah couldn't let him leave with out doing this.

Ryan looked at Sarah with anticipation, while she formulated how to approach him.

"_Screw it" _

Sarah walked up and wrapped him in a powerful hug, feeling the still cold worn leather give her goose bumps. After a beat Sarah felt his arms wrap around her waist and he buried his head in her long hair. After several moments they let go. Ryan cupped Sarah's cheeks with his hands and kissed her forehead.

"Thanks" Ryan smiled gratefully, and then went out the door. Sarah felt a smile grace her lips as she touched the table softly.

***

It had been an hour and still Ryan hadn't come back. So Sarah decided that she would get some sleep.

Taking the blanket off the table and a chair she went into the bedroom and got ready for bed. The mattress on the Cot was worn, but luckily still in good condition and surprisingly clean.

Sarah's tired mind wasn't all there as she sat in the chair and removed her boots and socks. She closed her eyes as the wooden floor of the home was warmed by the stove that had been going for several hours. She felt the last affects of self awareness leave her as she undid the clasp to her fatigue pants and shirt and skillfully slipped both of them off, folding them; she placed them on the chair. Setting herself down on the squishy soft mattress, she already felt sleep take her.

Laying down she pulled the blanket over her, feeling the material brush the sensitive skin on her bare legs. Turning over she stared out at the front door blinking rapidly before slipping away into sleep.

***

Ryan tiredly stumbled into the home. He was in a grim mood as the word spread of an immense Skynet attack the day after tomorrow. His Command once again would be placed in the forefront with out reinforcement.

A sense of sadness and hopelessness seemed to over take him as he sat in a chair in front of the map and stared at the area that represented the woods near the river that Company A would be defending the next night. He placed both elbows on the table and put his hands on his face as the woods looked just as dense on the map as it did in person. He tiredly sighed.

He turned toward the map and studied it several times. Ryan searched the topography and positions of the other units near the 132nd's. When an hour passed Ryan decided it was time to go to sleep.

With a creak he got up and walked into the small bedroom to find Sarah fast asleep. Ryan watched her covered chest rise and fall. Ryan slowly sat in the chair quietly and continued to watch Sarah sleep as thoughts of his and Cameron's conversation played in his head.

"_She'll kill John Connor."_

"_You can stop her, before it happens." _

Her innocent like voice echoed in his mind as the prospect of losing his father clashed with the overwhelming love he had for the sleeping woman in front of him. A strong sense of duty over took him.

"_As an Officer in this Resistance and a Human … it's my duty to stop Skynet no matter what the cost." _Ryan steeled himself as he pulled his chromed .45 out of its holster and slowly raised it, aiming in between Sarah's eyes.

A million thoughts collided in his head as he pulled the hammer back and touched the trigger.

Hesitation took him as he stared at Sarah's peaceful face. A Small content crossed her lips in her sleep. Ryan put pressure on the trigger.

"I love you" She breathed.

Closing his eyes he released the pressure on the trigger and slowly he lowered the chrome weapon.

"_I just can't do it." _Ryan shook his head and holstered his weapon. Suddenly Sarah stirred, opening her eyes slowly; she studied him for a moment.

"You just get back …?" She asked sleepily.

"No, an hour ago." He answered truthfully.

"How long have you been sitting there?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Not long" he shook his head. He knew that his problems where plastered all over his face for her to see.

"Something wrong?" she asked sitting up in the bed covering her camisole clad chest with the blanket.

"Nothing that can be solved tonight." Ryan shrugged lowering his head. Sarah nodded in agreement and tilted it slightly.

You want to talk about it?" She asked maternally. Ryan just shook his head in response. After a moment Ryan looked up and motioned next to her.

"You, uh … you mind?" Ryan asked permission to lie down. Sarah shook her head.

She watched him remove his utility belt and Jacket. He quickly shed his boots and socks. Sarah observed that he smelled as if he had been Barbequing all day. However she watched with interest as he removed his black leather clove off his hand. She watched with a clenched stomach as he flexed his hand causing the servos and pistons to wire on the mostly banged hand.

He eventually climbed in next to her and got under the covers. Sarah felt awkward as she forgot to mention the state of undress she was in, but Ryan didn't seem to notice or care as he made himself comfortable. Sarah awkwardly slid back into a laying position as Ryan sighed.

"Look, I know this would generally be weird for both of us … but I haven't slept on a mattress in like five years. So to be blunt, you could be completely naked right now and I could careless as long as I got to sleep on this mattress right now." Ryan said with conviction like the only way to move him was to toss out his dead body. Sarah couldn't help but smile as she turned away from him.

After a moment Ryan placed a lazy arm around her. This wasn't uncommon as she had been sharing a Sleeping mat with him and it was a common occurrence that he would do to steal body warmth or just to have a protective arm around her to put his mind at ease. Sarah would admit it was a bit weird, but it wasn't meant to be Sexual or provocative, it was just something that people in the future did and truth be told It felt kind of nice and it made her feel somewhat secure.

Eventually Sarah drifted to sleep.

Ryan however was still awake. He felt Sarah's stomach go up and down under his hand with Cameron's words haunting every breath.

"_One day love will blind you to your death." _

In the semi lit room of the old Mexican house, Ryan could feel that time drawing near.

**Alright so now we have it peeps. **

**You now know why Sarah is there and a little more about Ryan's back story.**

**I've hinted in several chapters that Ryan has known something and was withholding it from Sarah. This wasn't a retcon of the characters or the plot. This was the plan along. **

**It has been brought to my attention by my old man that drinking blood will not help dehydration. It will only help for starvation … but I not going to change it because it's there to make a point about Cameron's attitude toward Ryan. **

**I've hinted from several chapters that Ryan knows more then a fair share about martial arts. **


	16. Past or Present

**So … there is three ways I can go about addressing the last flash back. **

**I can defend it by saying it was meant only as a way to show the lengths Cameron would go to save Ryan. **

**I can apologize to anyone I offended and it wasn't my intention to do so. **

**But I think I'll go with three …**

**I was so totally drunk when I wrote it … so Drunk!!**

**;)**

**Present or Past**

"_He'll have lost everyone he holds dear … his mother, his soul mate, his child and amongst his heartbreak and sorrow, that's when you'll come to him."_

"No" Sarah protested

"_He'll want to touch your face, hold on to you like he once did. You'll return the hug, shush him, kiss his brow, and tell him you will make it better." _

"I won't do it!" She yelled.

"_When he is broken in your loving arms … that's when you'll know what you're expected to do." _

"No!!" Sarah yelled.

She felt hands clasp on to her bare arms as she thrashed about.

"GET OFF ME!!" She screamed fighting off the grip. Sarah was only free a moment before strong arms pulled her out of a lying position roughly and into a restraining frontal embrace. She heard a distorted voice calling her name; it was ignored in her fearful rage.

She fought hard, tumbling off a high place and landing hard on a surface. She rolled still in the tight embrace. The voice was getting louder and slowly she left the nightmare and a gloomed room took its place.

"Hey … err…goddammit, Hey!!" a familiar voice boomed into her ear as she struggled against the hold, feeling hands locked together on her back.

In the dim lighting a scarred, handsome face panted inches from hers. Sarah stopped her battle with the figure. Her eyes were wide and her breath was heavy as she was in a state of shock and disorientation from her pinned position.

"Hey, it was just a dream … gram … Sarah. What ever it was, it was just a dream, okay?" Ryan reasoned with her. Sarah was still in shock, but she nodded absently. After awhile Sarah got her breath under control and a sense of self awareness took over.

"Alright, I'm going to let you go now … you promise not to come at me with a knife or something when I do, huh?" Ryan gave a playful yet nervous chuckle trying to break some of the tension. Sarah nodded again, he returned the nod and slowly she felt his hands realize the lock on her back. The freed movement gave her a better piece of mind as she flexed her arms.

For the first time she noticed that they were on the floor of the bedroom, both were tangled in the army blanket. Ryan sat inches away examining her worriedly. After a moment she was almost back to normal, though she was still shaking. Ryan cautiously placed a comforting hand on her arm, However when she felt a clicking of a piston she immediately shrugged away.

Though it was a small action, she might as well have plunged a dagger in Ryan's heart. His face fell sadly as he averted his eyes away from her, closing his hand in a shameful fist.

"I'm, uh … I'm sorry." He crocked half in shame, half in embarrassment. He untangled himself and got up, padding across the heated floor boards to the chair where her main clothing and his Jacket and Utility belt hung on. He kept his back toward her as she heard him unattach something. When he turned he had a canteen in hand and walked back toward her. Kneeling he handed her the container slowly with his flesh hand, placing his cybernetic one behind his back.

Sarah took the canteen and looked into the brown eyes of her scorned decedent with guilt. Then quietly he sat back on the cot and looked at her for a moment. She swigged the water with a sloshing sound. When she was finished she screwed the cap back on, she got up, wrapping the blanket around her for modesty. She placed the canteen back on the chair and slowly returned to the cot. Ryan was lying back down looking at the ceiling. She sat with a squeak. She turned her head, gazing at Ryan every now and then.

"You feel better?" Ryan asked with concern. Sarah nodded not catching his gaze, but instead staring at the dusty floor boards. "Remember, it was just a dream … and if you need me, I'm right here?" Ryan consoled seriously. Sarah smiled at him lightly in acknowledgment. Ryan sighed tiredly and turned away from her using the side of his elbow as a pillow.

Sarah turned her gaze out toward the common room staring at the dimmed light of the electric lantern on the table.

Her nightmare wasn't like anything she had ever experienced before. There were no pictures or images. Nothing but blackness and words, words from a familiar sickly voice of the dying woman who stole her away from her time and family.

Suddenly things became very clear. Sarah knew why she was there in the future. This Dr. Serena Kogen had done something to her, changed her in someway, all in the name of one goal …

To have her murder the one person she loved more then anything in the entire universe.

Sarah's face hardened as she stared hard at the pistol holstered on Ryan's utility belt. Once again a sense of ease over took her like the fight with the cops in front of the metroplex theater. Sarah Connor would do anything to protect her son … even if it meant taking her own life.

"_They can't make me do something if I'm dead." _Sarah thought as she shed the blanket. Turning she looked at Ryan who seemed to have fallen back to sleep.

"I'm sorry for putting you through so much" Sarah whispered taking the blanket and with a small creak she slid close to the warm body and draped it over the young man's sleeping form. She leaned down brushing aside some grown out raven curls and kissed his temple. She smiled letting her hand linger in his hair as he didn't shift. Just like John when he was in a deep sleep.

With a light creek she removed herself from the bed and walked purposefully to the chair. She didn't hesitate in reaching for Ryan's side arm. She felt the cold rubber grip of the chromed pistol in her palm.

"It doesn't work that way." An emotionless voice called to Sarah from the other room. Sarah turned to a familiar silhouette seated in one of the chairs at the table.

"Cameron?" Sarah called in confusion. She moved to get a better look but was halted by an unseen force that had frozen her in place.

The Angelic young woman got to her feet and walked into the bedroom. Sarah watched her with great fear and anger as she couldn't move her body. Cameron stopped in front of Sarah looking her straight in the eye.

"Killing yourself won't help …" Cameron said coldly.

"And why is that?" Sarah gritted. Cameron tilted her head at her.

"Because, you cannot self-terminate." She answered Sarah's question without missing a beat.

"The hell I can't!! I'm not a damn machine!!" Sarah said ruthlessly, once again trying to will herself through the alien control.

"Are you?" Cameron asked. Sarah stopped cold looking at the cyborg.

"What have they done to me?" Sarah asked after a moment. Cameron studied her.

"I don't know" she deadpanned and walked toward the cot where Ryan was still fast asleep.

"You don't know? You're a part of this … all of this!" Sarah shouted. Cameron stared at Ryan's peaceful slumbering.

"I have no mission details on your condition." Cameron stated distractedly. Sarah strained again to move.

When she realized it was futile she decided to try another tactic.

"You know what this is about, Cameron. You know what they want me to do. They want me to kill John. You were married to him for eleven years … he loved you, why would you help Skynet do this?" Sarah asked in a scolding manner.

"That was a different TOK." Cameron stated coldly.

"Bullshit!" Sarah scoffed. "You're a horrible liar. I can see it in your eyes when you look at Ryan." She motioned her head at the still fast asleep Officer. Cameron visibly tightened her jaw.

"Unlike you, I have no choice but to carry out my mission." Cameron betrayed a hint of sorrow as she sat on the cot without a sound.

"And what is that?" Sarah asked the troubled cyborg.

"I must kill my child so you can kill yours." Cameron's voice was unreadable but Sarah could have sworn she saw a small tear stain her cheek.

"Why not stop it then?" Sarah shook her head. Cameron reached and touched her boy's matching cybernetic hand gingerly.

"I can't … but nothing is set in stone." Cameron said in an ominous tone.

"Are you saying there is a way to stop this?" Sarah asked turning her head to the side. Cameron said nothing, touching Ryan's cheek before pulling the blanket up to his shoulders. She stood and gave Sarah an unmachine like glare.

"The answers are there if you're willing to look." Cameron began to walk out of the room.

Cameron … Cameron!!" Sarah called but she left.

There was a large blinding flash that hit the entire room and before Sarah knew what had happened she was back on the bed looming over Ryan her hand still in his hair. She quickly turned her head from left to right seeing no one in the bedroom.

"What the hell!?" Sarah said jumping off the cot and stormed into the main room. There was no one there, in fact nothing was touched since she had went to bed. She gave a close look around before retreating back into the room. She sat back on the cot and gave another good look around.

"_Was it a hallucination …? Maybe some sort of walking dream?" _ Sarah questioned as she turned back to Ryan who was still covered by a blanket, but it was not adjusted the way Cameron had left it.

Feeling a bit nervous she walked over and picked up the chair, placing it and the pistol near grabbing distance. She got under the blanket and sat in a guarding position keeping her eye on the front door.

***

Alertness kept Sarah up for most of the night, as she watched the room. The conversation with Cameron dominated the unoccupied part of her brain in those hours as she glanced at the chromed pistol now in her hand.

'_Was she right … Can I really not be able to commit suicide?" _ She thought running the handgun up and down her covered ankles as she brought her knees to her chest in pensiveness. _"The Answers are there if you're willing to look for them? What the Hell does that even mean?" _Sarah sighed frustrated running a hand through her long curls and scratching the back of her head.

The mattress shifted as Ryan tuned from his side on to his back in his sleep. Sarah watched him a moment as his chest rose and fell with out a sound. Suddenly a slow sinking feeling fell into her belly as something in her brain clicked on.

Somewhere in Sarah's mind a fear became a certainty. A certainty that was in the same vein as the sun rising in the morning and the sky being blue, a certainty that Ryan Connor was going to be dead by the next day.

She tried to push it away, dismisses the claim as her not getting enough rest. But the more she resisted, the more it became a fact in her mind. She felt warmth in her eyes as she glanced down at him. Ryan exhaled from his mouth and his eyes opened with a flicker. He stared sleepily into her hard emerald orbs, and then looked at the object in her hand.

"Oh shit!" Ryan startled, shooting into a sitting position.

"What … what?" Sarah became frightened and raised the gun, pointing it around the room looking for an invisible target.

"What do you mean what? You got my flipping pistol in your hand!" Ryan chastised in a fluster.

"You don't think I was going to shoot you, did you?" Sarah said, a hint of hurt betrayed in her voice.

"What am I suppose to think, when a woman with PTSD is looming over me, in tears with a loaded gun?!" Ryan shouted at her. Sarah sighed and lowered the firearm.

"I'm sorry …" Sarah placed a hand on his shoulder. He let out a shaken breath but nodded and placed his hand out motioning her to give him the pistol. Sarah complied and handed the gun to him. He checked the magazine and then flipped the safety on. He leaned over Sarah and holstered the weapon. When he returned to his position, he looked at her with a concerned face.

'What's the matter?" Ryan studied her eyes. Sarah shook her head wiping away any traces of mist in them.

"Nothing" She cleared her throat. Ryan gave her a look that let her know he knew something was the matter. Sarah however continued to say nothing as she refused to meet his gaze.

"Don't worry … I'll get you back to your time." Ryan guessed at his grandmother's issue with a roughshod but cocky smile. Sarah knew that his confident answer was felled by ignorance, but she went along with it.

"I know you will." She said nodding, but couldn't help the tears that were falling from her eyes. Ryan watched with a sympathetic look. After a beat he scooted over and enveloped her in a cautious hug. She however in turn squeezed to him tightly and buried her face into his navy blue T-shirt. She wanted to pass along as much of her hardened heart to him as possible in what she believed was his short amount of time.

Ryan was surprised at such a heat felt and meaningful hug as he had been told all his life that Sarah Connor was a very guarded woman and rarely showed normal affection to her own child much less someone she had only known for four days. But he decided to take what was given back to him, embracing her tightly.

This time, both eventually nodded off to sleep in the embrace.

***

Several hours later Sarah was awoken by large booms from outside. She turned to find much to her confusion, Ryan still asleep.

"Ryan … RYAN!!" Sarah yelled at the young man as she struggled out of his arms.

"They're not even the big guns … plus if something was going on someone would come to get me." Ryan groaned lazily, showing off some of his youthful sloth. Suddenly the door opened and a figure rushed inside making a dash into the bedroom. It was the same Auburn haired girl from the other night. "Like that" Ryan sighed

The girl saw Sarah without her pants and averted her eyes before clearing her throat.

"What is it, Sid?" Ryan yawned not even opening his eyes.

"Ummm … Rye the artillery is firing." The girl said nervously as another boom sounded.

"Obviously" Ryan huffed. There was a pause as the young woman waited for the CO to do something.

"Well …" she asked as Sarah slid on her pants.

"Do you know what they're firing at?" He asked condescendingly.

"No"

"Do they know what they're firing at?"

"I guess"

"Then why don't you get them to let us in on it?" Ryan sighed. Sydney glared at him

"I'll go do that then, _lazy jerk_." She muttered, as she was leaving she gave Sarah who was putting on her fatigue button up the same star struck once over before leaving.

Sarah frowned at Ryan who looked like he might have already dosed off again. She sat down with a large creek causing him to shift agitatedly on to her lower back. She next slammed her boots on the wood floor loudly.

"I'm up!" Ryan yelled into the mattress. He sat up tiredly and glared at Sarah who was slipping on her socks. He silently walked over and snatched is boots up, sitting next to Sarah; he tiredly put on his socks.

Finished dressing she snatched the .45 out its holster and stalked to the door with it in ready position. Quietly she pushed the door open and peered out side.

The small village was unchanged in the dark. However she saw flashes of violet light streak across the orange and purple sky.

"What are you doing?" Ryan asked tiredly from behind her. She glared at her decedent's lack of situational awareness.

"What does it look like" Sarah hissed annoyed.

"Well it looks like you are being overly cautious." He shot back once again holding out his hand and motioning her to give him the gun. This time Sarah hesitated fixing him with a scolding scoff as she slapped the gun in his hand. Ryan holstered the weapon with a yawn and walked out into the town. Sarah shook her head, following cautiously.

After a moment Sarah felt a bit embarrassed as the soldiers of Companies A and B watched Sarah from there sitting positions in the middle of the road with goofy faces. She cleared her throat and walked casually behind Ryan who stopped in front of the Lieutenant from last night.

"Isn't it a bit early for Eiling to be forcing another engagement?" Ryan shook his head at Crowley. The Lieutenant shrugged folding his arms across his chest.

Just then the firing stopped and everything went still. There was a hush as everyone looked around.

"That was strange." Ryan muttered as people went back to whatever they were doing. Sydney arrived soon after a little out of breath.

"Pickets made contact with a Skynet scouting party." She breathed. "Gray's" she finally said after several gulps of air.

"Huh …" Ryan scratched his neck in interest. Sarah was confused at the word, but chose not to say anything. "Alright, I'm going to HQ to get word … tell your boys to gear up." Ryan addressed the two in front of him. They saluted and walked in opposite directions.

Ryan turned to Sarah and sighed pensively.

"Umm… why don't you get yourself some breakfast?" Ryan smiled lightly. Sarah glared, feeling like she was being treated like a child. Ryan knew automatically that he had tripped a wire in Sarah's temper.

"I'm not some withering flower or some damsel tied to the train tracks. I can help here or maybe you have forgotten, but I was the very first resistance member?" Sarah gritted her teeth. Ryan sighed at her.

"Tell me … what is 3, 6 flip hole?" He asked with a very Cameron like tilting of his head that only got Sarah angrier.

"I don't know." Sarah said

"What is Lead Triple Option?" Ryan asked again.

"I don't know" Sarah answered on his heels.

"Do you know what an Ogre is or what a delta attack pattern contains?" Ryan said in an irritated voice.

"No" she responded in frustration.

"They're all tactics and nicknames used by us. So tell me how you could help if you don't know the first thing about this war or the people in it?" Ryan said hotly. Sarah tightened her jaw in response. "Now quiet being a pain in the ass and go eat!" Ryan growled at her.

"Go to hell!" Sarah said intensely and stormed away.

Ryan felt as much like an ass as he sounded, but he would have to make it up to her later.

***

Sarah tossed the soupy eggs on her plate with a ruthless scrape sitting at the table back at the house.

She resented the way Ryan was treating her, like she was some inept idiot who didn't know the first thing about fighting machines or worse, some delicate princess who need protecting 24/7. If it was one thing she hated, it was being useless in a fight.

Her angry thoughts where interrupted by a gentle knock.

"Come in!" Sarah said harshly thinking it was Ryan. However it was the auburn haired girl who poked her head inside.

"Is this a bad time?" She asked in a small frightened voice that immediately caused Sarah to feel guilty.

"Umm … No." Sarah cleared her throat. The girl nodded and walked in, closing the door behind her. She watched Sarah as if trying to get close to an angry animal with out setting its temper off. The girl motioned to one of the seats across from Sarah. "Not my house." Sarah commented going back to the gunk on her plate that somewhat looked like they might have been possibly eggs in there former life. The girl sat quietly observing the map in front of her in an awkward silence.

"So you guys must have one hell of a night." she commented off handedly.

"Why's that …?" Sarah scowled

"Oh … umm no reason it just I heard you screaming and groaning last night, that's all." She said awkwardly.

"It wasn't what you think." Sarah corrected the girl.

"Oh … I know … Lauren told me." The girl smiled and went back to staring at the map.

"If you're waiting for Ryan … he's out." Sarah scowled angrily at the name.

"Umm … I'm actually not … I know he's up at the church with Colonel Perry." She responded with a small nervous chuckle trying to lighten the mood. Sarah glanced up at her expecting the girl to continue. After several moments the girl looked at Sarah.

"You're … her … Sarah Connor." The girl asked nervously. Sarah nodded her head in answer. "Lauren … she uh … she told me that you and Ryan's mom … you guys saved my parent's lives?" the girl asked with a glassy look in her green eyes.

"You're Sydney Fields?" Sarah asked with a tilt of her head. The girl nodded with a smile. "Yes … once." Sarah confirmed with a hint of remorse remembering Derek telling her the story of the girl's mother's death while they lay in bed one night. Sydney had a look of pure awe at the woman in front of her. When she realized that her hero worship was evident she cleared her throat and plastered a fake passive look on her face. However she looked into Sarah's eyes with a spark of emotion.

"Thank you" she crocked.

"For what …?" Sarah frowned feeling guilty about the loss of a woman that she couldn't quiet remember the name of.

"When you saved my mothers life … you saved mine, so thank you." Sydney smiled gratefully.

Sarah looked at the pretty young woman in front of her and realized that the botched mission at the Field's cabin wasn't such a disaster after all.

"You're welcome" Sarah smiled slowly at the realization.

***

Sarah walked with Sydney through the Mexican town giving the young woman her side of the cabin story.

Sydney ate the story up. laughing at her sister's wit and tearing up at her father's determination to protect his family (Sarah left out the part about her real father).

"I just want to thank you again for telling me about all this." Sydney said fondly.

"It's your family … you have a right to know about your loved ones." Sarah replied seriously. The girl nodded. After several more minutes of idle walking, they spotted Lauren sitting next to Ryan on a sand bag wall.

"Speaking of family." Sydney smiled. Sarah glared at the Navy Blue T-shirt clad back several yards in front of her.

Sydney laughed at Sarah's murderous glare. "Don't be too hard on him … he can be a jerk sometimes, but he just wants to keep you safe."

Sarah didn't respond, just watched the two converse. It seemed to be a serious talk, in which Lauren looked remorseful with a hand on the young Captains back as if consoling him.

After a beat she got up and spotting the two of them, she walked up. Lauren greeted them with a tired sigh hugging Sydney with glassy eyes.

"What's the matter?" Sarah asked seeing the hurt behind them.

"I … uh lost Barnes on the table last night." Lauren shook her head stroking her sister's hair tiredly. Sydney looked like she had just been slapped, but after a moment she wrapped an arm around Lauren.

"I'm sorry" she said consolingly.

"He was a stubborn old bastard … but out here, when your time comes, it comes …" Lauren steeled herself. Sydney and Sarah nodded in agreement.

After a moment of silence Sydney sighed. "You need to get something to eat." She stated to Lauren.

"Pass" Lauren wrinkled her nose at the prospect. Sydney gave her a stern look.

"Quit being an infant … I eat that crap, but you don't see me complaining." Sydney crossed her arms.

"Yeah, because you were raised on that crap, I however remember the way food supposes to taste." Lauren shot back.

"Look at you, acting all special, because you remember pizza." Sydney mocked. Lauren stuck her tongue out at the young woman, but sighed in defeat when she realized that she wasn't going to top little sister this round.

"You wanna come along, Sarah?" Sydney smiled with the knowledge that she had won. Sarah smiled at them, but turned back to Ryan who was still sitting by himself on the defensive structure.

"No, you go ahead, I already ate." Sarah nodded at the two siblings.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Lauren said sympathetically. Sarah laughed a little at the comment. Sydney glared at her mother figure while tapping her foot.

"Fine …" Lauren let out an exasperated sigh and stuck her arms out like expecting to be handcuffed. Sydney snatched her by the wrist and pulled her away.

"Now who raised who again?" she heard Sydney ask as they disappeared.

Sarah flicked her eyes toward the sound of a slow somewhat sorrowful rendition of Dixie being played by a lone Harmonica.

The crackle of gravel under Sarah's boots ended the small tribute when she got close enough. Without a word she took a seat next to the glassy eyed Captain. She shifted on the soft sand filled bags as Ryan looked down at the beaten up harmonica.

"He was always a fan of that song … god only knows why." He sniffled slightly shaking his head. Sarah was hard pressed to fight off the mother in her as she could clearly hear the hurt in his voice. She merely nodded in acknowledgement at the sentence.

There was a long pause before he stuck the harmonica in one of his pouches on the belt.

"I'm gonna miss that rough old son of bitch …" Ryan's sigh was cracked with emotion.

"He's in a better place now …" Sarah tried to give him some comfort through words.

"… Yeah, I guess you're right about that." Ryan cleared his throat and wiped away the mist from his eyes. Sarah saw a backpack sitting at Ryan's feet and found something to take his mind of the hurt.

"What's in the bag?" she motioned her head to the pack. Ryan breathed a short chuckle and picked up the bag and put it in his lap.

"There's an old saying that when you've scorned a woman you shower her with gifts. So with that in mind …" Ryan handed the pack to Sarah. "I'm sorry and Merry Christmas." He smiled roughly with a tilt to his head. She raised an eyebrow and opened the flap.

Sarah smiled lightly when she pulled out a black Tank Top and a Utility Belt with a black Colt 1911 holstered in it.

"It's not quite Christmas yet, but I thought since you'll most likely be back home with Mom and Dad in 2009 by then, I'd give yours early. Plus women like clothing." Ryan shrugged.

"Thank you." Sarah smirked at the items in her clutches. "I didn't get you anything …" She smiled cheekily.

"Meh … how bout you make up for it by not trying to kill Mom when she gets pregnant." Ryan said with humor clearly evident in his voice. Sarah gave him a playful pensive look which earned her a bump from his shoulder.

"Alright … deal." Sarah sighed in mock exasperation.

"You Captain Phillips!" a deep voice called to the two of them. Both turned to a large burly soldier.

"Yeah" Ryan nodded. Sarah's gaze was captured by three soldiers guarding a tall shackled man behind the lead soldier.

"We caught this _Thing _outside one of the pickets." The soldier motioned to the shackled man. Ryan's face darkened at one glance of the prisoner.

The man was exceptionally taller then all of the soldiers. He had on grey and black unblemished clothing that sort of resembled a type of military uniform. The man looked beaten up, but what caught Sarah's attention was how perfect he looked. He had no blemishes or scars on his supermodel like face. He had perfect posture and looked unfazed by his current surroundings.

"He had these on him." The Soldier handed Ryan maps with writing ink on them. He observed them, looking to the woods and back to the maps. He snorted in miniscule anger. Sarah tried to read what was scratched on the paper, but the red ink was some sort of binary writing with circled drawn on the topography. She frowned and turned to look at the prisoner.

Sarah felt chills when the man locked eyes with her. He averted away from her sharply as if he was unworthy to even look at her. The quick action caught Ryan's attention.

"Stay here." Ryan ordered with protectiveness in his voice, handing the map to the Soldier. Then he got to his feet and overtly stood in front of Sarah defensively.

With slow menacing crackles Ryan walked till he was standing only inches from the prisoner.

"Name and Rank" He commanded. The prisoner said nothing. Ryan snorted at the defiance given to him. "He say anything to you?" Ryan turned to the lead Soldier.

"Oh yeah, he was talking all sorts of that _Gray_ Bullshit, till now" The soldier said with a sigh. Ryan "huh" and shot a curious look at Sarah who was to busy studying the Gray to notice.

"See something you like?" Ryan addressed the Grey motioning to Sarah. The chained man looked him the eye with some outraged anger. "I don't know she's really pretty, think I got a shot?" Ryan asked with a cheeky wink. The Gray began to seethe in silent anger. "I mean the things I would do to her …" Ryan trailed off.

The Gray tried to come at Ryan. "You gutter rat … my father will murder all of you! He knows your positions and where you'll hide … you won't live to see tomorrow!" He yelled as the Soldiers held the prisoner back. Ryan laughed in response.

"You know what I love about the Cannon fodder … the canners bring them up with so much entitlement that when there captured the slightest pinprick gets them talking." He announced, which earned him some laughs from some on lookers. "Take the maps to CP and make sure not to kill _Test Tube_ before he gets interrogated by intelligence." Ryan ordered. The lead soldier saluted and motioned the others to move along.

"Don't worry you're not alone … He'll come for you!" The man yelled out to Sarah as he was being dragged away.

"Hold!" Ryan said and walked up to the Gray. "Who are you talking about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." The man spit.

"That's why I asked, genius …" Ryan slapped the Gray lightly.

"The terror of men, the unstoppable gale, the hammer of Connor …. _The Beast_!" the man listed of names but put poignancy on the last.

"Please tell me you're not actually talking about the _Minotaur_!" Ryan sighed as if he was told a really bad joke.

"The same … and he'll come for you!" He again shouted at Sarah with reassurance. Ryan rolled his eyes upward and motioned the guards to take him away.

When they were gone Ryan's humored face melted away and was replaced with worry as he rubbed his soul patch with his thumb in thought taking a seat next to Sarah.

"Something he said …?" She asked.

"Something he wrote." He answered distractedly.

"On the maps?" Sarah asked studying his face.

"It's for me to worry about." Ryan said with a confident smile but his eyes where troubled. Sarah started to feel that she was being condescended to again but she decided to table the discussion … for now.

"So who was that?" Sarah changed subjects flicking her eyes in the direction of where the prisoner and the soldiers disappeared.

"Oh … that was a Gray. They're part of Skynet's breeding program. Human's grown in Test Tubes and raised to serve the glorious father in the heroic cause of killing as many "Gutter Rats" as possible." Ryan explained with a stiff laugh.

"He seemed so perfect it was almost inhuman." Sarah observed loudly.

"Yeah, they're made the way a machine views how humanity should look and be, which means perfect and obedient, with a hell of an inferiority complex." Ryan chuckled at his last comment.

"What's the beast?" she asked feeling like there was something familiar about it.

"Oh, don't worry about that. He was just trying to scare you." Ryan answered with a snort. Some how Sarah doubted that generating fear was what the man was trying to do. It sounded to her like he was trying to consul her or even give her hope. Ryan caught on to Sarah's pensiveness.

"Look … there was tales coming out of Century that Skynet had some sort of monster locked up somewhere. He was suppose to be this super being, able to kill anything, they said that Skynet built this special prison complex where it took the most physically gifted and intelligent prisoners and put them in this maze where it trained the monster how to hunt and kill the best of the humans. They nicknamed it the Minotaur because it supposedly at least partly human." Ryan laughed mockingly when he finished the story.

"And you don't believe in it?" Sarah asked slightly spooked.

Ryan sighed and wrapped an arm around Sarah. "I been from one side of this wrecked world to the other and I've crossed blades with some flesh eating humans that where born with radiation mutation. But if your asking if Skynet has some fugally human eating monster locked away somewhere … then the answer is no." He shrugged. Sarah turned and smiled to humor him.

However her memory flashed to her standing in a darkened room in a half tied hospital gown. Her eyes where in tortured tears touching a glass tube where a baby floated in green liquid with a wire connected to it's belly button.

"You okay?"

A voice took her out of her flash and she was once again sitting next to Ryan who had an arm around her.

"Yeah …" She looked down at her hands. Ryan looked up at something and sighed.

"I got an Officers call I have to be at." Ryan sighed removing his arm. Sarah nodded silently. He gave a friendly slap to her thigh and stood up.

Sarah felt a hand take her chin and pull it up and she locked eyes with Ryan.

"There just stories …" he said consolingly and gave a quick kiss to her forehead. She watched him walk away.

Sarah wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to stop the shivering that the flash had left her with.

***

The Command Post was bristling with anticipation as Helicopters dropped squad after squad of anxious soldiers who rushed out of the landing zone and formed up with there platoons and companies.

Each soldier kept there eyes on the main command bunker where inside there fates were being decided.

***

The main Bunker was filled with Regimental Colonels and brigade generals, along with there Company commanders.

Each officer sat in undesignated rows of seats facing a white wall with a futuristic looking projector.

Inside the room there was a calm storm of emotions, unlike the men and women outside the bunker waiting anxiously for the word to move with nervousness. Those who sat in the large briefing room where the seasoned veterans of the war, who have fought in many battles large and small, who where rewarded for there services with promotions. Each man and women of the senior command of the 1st Division where focused on the job at hand, not death.

There was a thud and a creek of a heavy door and a petite woman walked in to the room. She walked with authoritive purpose as she passed the rows till she reached the projector and turned on her heals, looking out at the crowd.

She was an attractive older woman in her mid forties. She had long flowing brunet hair and high cheek bones. Her stormy brown eyes surveyed the group in front of her.

"Good morning ladies and Gentlemen." She spoke with an elegant English accent that took many by surprise.

"General Eiling has been dismissed, my name is General Hughes. John Connor has personally asked me to relieve the General and take charge of the defensives here." She explained simply. There was a murmur of acceptance from the officers. "Lets get started." She smiled lightly which caused several lifted eyebrows.

The Woman's charismatic and gentle tone was different then the Officers of the 1st Division were use to, but they accepted her as the woman in front of them possessed the rare quality that made all those who meet her to immediately fall in love with her.

The lights dimmed and the digital projector flipped on. A digital map of the surrounding six miles appeared.

"Though I believe that the other nights blunder in orders was a ghastly affair at best." She nodded with a sympathetic look to a Brown eyed officer with grown out raven curls. Ryan nodded back in acceptance. "I do believe we have gained a slight advantage. With the mistake in orders Captain Phillips and the late General Barnes has forced Skynet to speed up there offensive, therefore forcing its hand and giving us the advantage of choosing our own ground to fight on.

General Hughes flipped a button and the map turned vertically.

"Skynet know that to get to home plate that it can't simply march over open ground where our bomber and Gunships can tear them apart. It will have to use the mountain ranges and passes till they reach the river, here" She walked toward the map and with a slender finger traced a path through the 3D topography toward a thick blue line.

"Colonel Andrews you and the 82nd are to skirmish the machines advance and harass them as mush as possible, till practicable." The map zoomed in and several red dots flashed in the mountain passes.

"There main goal is crossing the river. It's an obstacle that we will use to our advantage." The map shifted to the river. "The main crossing is to the north which will be guarded by the 2nd and 3rd Brigades. However we believe that Skynet will put extra focus on the southern crossings guarded by the 132nd." She gave a poignant stare at Colonel Perry. "All of our defenses will have artillery support and some air to ground, but be sure to use it wisely." She addressed the Officers nodding to the back of the room the lights came back on. Once on, she gave a hardened, dead serious look to her Commanders.

"Under no circumstances are there to be any break through. There is no retreat, no falling back. We are all that stands in front of the machines from massacring the settlements behind us. If we're over run then the only thing the children are getting for Christmas is a plasma bolt." Her voice was almost emotional and desperate as if begging them. She cleared her throat and gave a stern look. "However on the flip side, if we stop Skynet here, it will have no choice but to go on the defense for the duration of the war. So keep that in mind." She said confidently.

There was a thoughtful hush over the crowd of Soldiers as each thought about the prospect of the Mechanical nightmare ending.

"Dismissed …"

***

To say that it was humid was an understatement. Everyone who was outside for more then several minutes felt like they had been coated with slime. It wasn't the dry heat of the desert that Sarah had become use to it was the kind of heat that zapped the life out of you and made you think you might suffocate. Like the heat from the jungles of Central America.

In fact those times in her life kept flashing to some because she had changed into her Christmas present and braided her hair in the same fashion as she once did in the jungle, but mostly, because it was the only time in her life that she was ever close to a militaristic setting but .

Most of her training was given by veterans that had come home or retired and in turn for there help she surrendered to there deepest sexual desires. She had also been known to fake a passionate whirl wind romance, where she played the role of the helpless single mother who needs the protection of a strong man. Then when he taught her everything he knew she uprooted in the middle of the night with a note of romantic bullshit proclaiming everlasting love and sorrow.

Sarah regretted living that kind of life. Not for her, but for John, because from a very young age he wasn't sure what to believe. Not sure what face his mother would put on, the helpless beauty, the sultry party girl, the fearless mother. Back then Sarah use to think as long as John knew that she loved him all would be okay. But now she knew that the sounds of her screaming in another mans bed or wondering if this man who mama claimed to love would be his father. All of it scarred him deeply.

The sound of another group of helicopters broke her concentration. She watched the scores of dirty soldiers jump out of them and run out of the way as they lifted back into the air and left. She closed her eyes as the blades stirred the hot air around her. She sighed and shifted her bottom on the car hood she was sitting on next to Alice who was conversing with some other Lieutenant from the same Brigade. Sarah was surrounded by Tank top, T-shirt, and even only bra clad people who where waiting in the heat for there Senior Officers to come back and give directions.

"So rumor is we got Sector E …" Sydney announced to everyone upon her return.

"No way …" a shirtless 2nd Lieutenant said with a shake of his head in disbelief.

"They wouldn't do that to my mama's baby girl." Alice said in a campy southern accent wiping her chest with a towel giving her some attention from the males around her.

"What's in Sector E?" Sarah risked sounding like an idiot with the question.

"Southern river crossing … you know where HQ is." Sydney answered. Sarah frowned in confusion at the fear the youths had about the position.

"It's really the middle of the line. Usually Skynet is arrogant when it comes to tactics and hits the center hard." Alice explained the rest. She was clearly bothered by the heat as she fanned her self with her hands.

Everyone went silent when the bunker doors opened and men and woman began filing out. Everyone in the small group began to look for the company commanders. After a minute they spotted Ryan and a shirtless George talking to a large brutal looking bald black man.

"Was it really necessary for George to take his shirt off?" Alice laughed wiping her face on the bottom of her tank top attracting more stares from the males at her toned stomach.

"He just wants to impress a certain someone here" Sydney laughed and bumped Sarah who glared disapprovingly at the young woman. "Sorry" She apologized but kept a smirk on her lips.

"I wouldn't mind seeing Ryan take his off." Alice muttered loudly.

Sydney cringed. "I would, he's got all these knife and bullet wound scars. Plus have you seen his right hand, all his fingers are disjointed from the brakes. Sarah can back me up here." Sydney turned to Sarah.

"I wouldn't know." Sarah commented as she watched the three males talk.

"I still wouldn't mind seeing for myself." Alice commented, causing a smile slightly

"_In spite of J-day and the war one thing hadn't changed and that was the Sex drive of a College age girl."_

Everyone went quiet when Ryan approached them after a quick salute to the black man.

"So what's the verdict boss?" Sydney asked.

"Sector E" Ryan sighed. The air seemed to become scarce in the small group. Ryan seemed to move past it. "Alice you're with me." Ryan said glancing at the blond.

"Yes sir" the young woman couldn't hide the smile on her face.

"Jake … we're being reinforced." Ryan turned to the large man who hadn't said two words since the pickup ride there.

"With who?" Sydney asked pleasantly surprised.

"_Gravies_" Ryan answered. There was a collective groan from both Sydney and Crowley. But Alice looked like someone had slapped her face and called her a name.

"Are you kidding me? I'd take some green FNG tunnel rat over some Cherry _Gravy_." Crowley said in frustration.

"At least tunnel rats know how to fight." Sydney added.

"Look they're better then nothing … so quit bitching. When they get here I want you to break them up and pair them with a veteran. I don't want them running away in there first fight." Ryan ordered sternly. He received no protest but some choice words under breathing as the two left.

Ryan was about to address Sarah when both notice Alice was still there. She had a look of angry sadness on her pretty face. Ryan sighed and his hardened eyes melted and walked toward her.

"So that's why I got transferred … to help brake in the Test Tubes?" She said with angry tears mixing with sweat.

"Yes …" Ryan admitted honestly. She scoffed and turned her head. "Alice … I know you don't like it, but you're the only one they can relate too." Ryan said taking her cheek and turning her head to face him

"Rye … I'm not one of them! I may have been some Baby stolen from the factory, but I got a family …!" Sarah winced when she saw true emotional pain behind her eyes as she yelled at Ryan placing her hands on his chest.

"I know … but whither you like it or not, you share the same background and I need you on this, babe." Ryan was docile in tone as he stroked her cheek gently. After a moment of collecting herself she sniffled deeply and nodded her head. "Thank you" Ryan removed his hand and gave her a smile. She ran a hand down his chest and walked after Sydney.

Ryan sighed as he watched her leave.

"Gravies?" Sarah shrugged.

"Gray's captured in infancy and raised in Tunnel orphanages." Ryan explained without hesitation

"Is she a …?" Sarah asked watching the wavy haired young woman walk away.

"A Gray … could've been." Ryan finished her sentence and continued to watch her with what Sarah saw as something that could be construed as love. "We were both five when we met. Mom and Dad had cleared out a sector and Dad and I where scavenging around for a gift for Mom's birthday when I came across this abandoned R&D lab … she was the only one left alive out of 20 children. Dad got her out and led her by hand back to our quarters. Mom found her some adopted parents. But because she's so beautiful and we found her in a R&D lab there is no way of knowing who or what she is." He shrugged with a sigh.

"You love her?" Sarah asked with a raised eyebrow. Ryan gave her a hard stare.

"I'm a Connor … it's better for her if she didn't know one way or the other." Ryan said regretfully. Sarah felt sad, because she knew how he felt as Derek and Kyle both entered her mind.

There was a small pause between them.

"Where do you want me?" Sarah asked after a moment. Ryan looked at her and was emotional for a second.

"Well this is where the trail ends." Ryan said with a small smile. Sarah frowned in response. "You're going on the next Chopper out of here." Ryan explained.

Sarah hadn't really thought about this moment. Part of her was desperate to See John but on the other hand the same feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that Ryan was going to die that night.

"Please, I'm not looking for an argument right now …" Ryan said with a sigh seeing the indecision on her face. Sarah primal need to see her child out weighed everything in her mind at that moment.

"Alright … alright I'll go." Sarah nodded in agreement.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Ryan smiled with glassy eyes as he pulled a letter out and handed it to her. "You remember what I told you the other day?" Ryan asked. Sarah nodded.

There was a pause again between them, but this time unlike there other goodbyes there was no hesitation by either party.

Sarah squeezed him tightly in a fierce hug stroking his matching hair. Ryan buried his nose into the crook of her neck and returned the squeeze. Ryan released her after a moment but Sarah wouldn't let go as she felt his death looming stronger then ever.

"It's alright … its okay." Ryan whispered gently as he stroked her back when she wouldn't let go. Finally after a minute she kissed Ryan's temple and with several deep breaths she let go of him. Ryan had a few stray tears in his eyes.

The sound of a chopper landed with a thud and loitered. As soldiers jumped off and stretchers of wounded from the other nights battle where placed on it.

"This is you!" Ryan yelled over the loud hum of the blades. Sarah felt sick to her stomach at the thought of leaving someone that shared her blood with, that she in a strange way helped to create inside her. The line of thought made the three words spill out without any control.

"I love you!" She yelled over the hum.

Ryan gave her a look of shock. It was a rare thing for him to hear when he was a child and now grown it was even more of a rarity. He was about to respond when commotion from the command bunker made him snap to attention.

A soldier was yelling as the Gray from earlier who was streaking toward the helicopter.

Sarah reacted quickly, snatching Ryan by the utility belt and pulling him behind her. She drew her sidearm and fired three shots into the man's leg.

Then as if in slow motion Sarah saw a sphere leave his hand and land into the open door of the Hewey, where the injured where placed.

"**GERNADE!!" **

On instinct Sarah tackled Ryan to the ground and covered him with her body.

There was an ear popping boom and she felt the exposed skin on her upper back become coded with intense heat for a second as the ground shook. Then everything went silent.

Ryan sat up bring Sarah with him as both sat tangled together staring at the Helicopter burn intensely.

Both felt a strange isolation to everything around them with the sound of each others close breathing penetrating the unearthly silence.

Both turned to one another wide eyed.

"Thank you" Ryan said panting. Sarah nodded in response.

Ryan was the one who now felt a tug of nausea in his gut, as he realized that after this there wouldn't be any other choppers landing and therefore Sarah would have no choice but participate in tonight's firefight.

Feeling a deep worry he wrapped his arms around her. "I won't let anything happen to you." He whispered.

Sarah understood full well what he meant and turned her head to the main bunker where her heart leapt in her throat.

She watched Cameron lock eyes with her and discreetly leave the main bunker, passing into a crowd of onlookers.

**The question has now become who was Cameron trying to kill?**

**And What is Sarah's link to the Minotaur?**

**Sorry for all the hugging and the family sappiness but Sarah is a mom at heart and Ryan is a small part of her so …**


	17. Free Will

**So I saw the first Twilight movie while I was writing this, so if Sydney Fields description sounds vaguely like Kristin Steward or Major Hayworth sounds similar to Elizabeth Reaser … sorry LOL. **

**Free Will**

The Sun was high and harsh in the Large Mexican sky as noon approached. The humidity was so thick it was almost like it was sucking the air right out of the soldier's lungs.

Sarah sat alone outside the jungle staring at squads of soldiers cut paths into the brushy woods. There was a quiet eeriness to the environment that made her feel strange, almost alone in an existential way.

While in the Rainforests of Central America with John, the jungle was like another living being that she and her then little boy respected. In its hearth there was life, from movement of unseen beasts to unidentified sounds that made the trees and plants come alive. But the woods Sarah watched from afar was far from alive, she could say that it was even farther then dead, if it was possible. There weren't sounds of mammals scurrying along the floor or colorful birds cackling on tree branches. There wasn't even the annoying hum of misquotes buzzing around her face and exposed creamy skin. It was just silent, A sad monumental tomb of a once earthly wonder.

Letting out a sad sigh, she traced the sticky sweat on her neck. The sound of hacking and grunting made her feel useless, which was the last thing she wanted to feel with all that was on the horizon.

She turned toward the town behind her remembering that she was waiting for Ryan who was in going to give her a lesson on Plasma Rifles 101. When she didn't see any trace of him the thought of going after him crossed her mind. With a purposeful slap to her thighs she stood up snatching the rifle and headed for the town.

It wasn't a long walk from the defenses to the town, but it was a difficult one, as a large sloppy ridge where the old mission church stood separated the two important points like a natural fence protecting the town.

She grunted and huffed as she went up the rocky hill till she reached the top. Once there she stopped when she spotted large looking cannons that where several stories tall and being moved into sandbagged positions by several Terminators with another shirtless male directing them. Sarah looked sideways and noticed a whole row of the monsters commanding a view of the woods below. She suddenly noticed something in her examination below.

The twelve mile stretch of woods seemed to stick out like a sore thumb in the wake of the rocky and arid climate surrounding it. Something about it didn't quite sit right in her gut and she started to ponder if the humid landscape was some sort of experiment like the Town she and Ryan ran into and if so, what was its purpose for recreating such an environment in a desolate place like this.

"_Heat's making me over think." _

Sarah sighed and continued into town where everything was a bit emptier then usual with most of the soldiers near the woods.

There was a strange knot in her belly that was telling her that she was being watched and not in a good way. She turned to see eyes of shadowed faces watching her suspiciously with almost a pang of fear in them. Sarah cleared her throat, averting her eyes from the shadows till she reached the HQ.

She entered the home that was now almost unbearably hot.

"Ryan!" she looked around the empty home but found no sign of the young man. She noticed that his rucksack was on the table but the map wasn't nor anything of value. She pulled up a chair and sat, knowing that he would be back for his things.

After several moments of sitting in the enclosed heat, she was starting to seriously think of joining the shirtless club, Bra or not. She opened the front door and was walking back to the table when she noticed scrape marks on the floor, something that she seemed to have missed the other night in the dimly lit room. Sarah followed the scrape markings to the wall where she saw the army blanket that covered her and Ryan last night draped over a large square item as if it was to cover something.

At first Sarah thought Ryan had just tossed it there for somewhere to put it, but on further examination, it seemed that he had gone out of his way to cover the item. Suspicion and mistrust that Sarah thought she had conquered came rushing back as she observed the object.

With an angry tug she pulled the blanket off the object. What was under the cover was a one of a kind silver framed mirror that would most likely fetch a great price. Sarah all at once felt ashamed that she had returned to the mistrust of her own flesh and blood who to her knowledge was protecting the former owners priceless family heirloom from scavengers.

She smirked and let the female in her take over deciding to check her reflection out to see just how five days in the future and made her look. Then she understood immediately why Ryan had hidden the mirror.

In Sarah's mind, she had carried with her the self image of the woman who looked at herself in the bathroom mirror of the Metroplex Theater while waiting for five year old Savanna Weaver to finish using the restroom. However what she saw wasn't the woman in the Theater bathroom, but a woman from the past, a woman who still had a sense of humor, who was loved by all in the guerilla's camp, a _girl_ who was making up taking care of a three year old little boy as she went. She wasn't looking at the hardened soldier of thirty three what Sarah Connor was looking at was the still green twenty-one year old girl she knew in the Central American Rain Forests.

Sarah hitched her breath and squeezed her eyes tight wondering if she was seeing things due to those years being on her mind constantly. When she opened them, the girl was still there and she was breathing just as harsh as Sarah was. A slow freak out began to take place as she touched her face feeling the wet yet flawlessly smooth skin under her palm. She looked at her face and immediately saw there was an almost flawless perfection to her that made Sarah sick to her stomach at how insanely Beautiful she looked.

Familiar distinctive thuds entered the room and she looked into brown eyes with panicked green ones. Then the realization that Ryan knew all along what she had looked like and had been lying to her and worst had been willingly hiding it from her.

Without hesitation she drew her pistol, pointing it at Ryan aggressively.

"Hey?!!" Ryan yelled putting his hands up instead of going for his gun like Sarah had expected, when he saw her at the mirror.

"What did they do to me … what did _you _do to me?!!" Sarah demanded her eyes crazed and her teeth clenched. Her chest was rising and falling in almost hyperventilation.

"You need to calm down …" Ryan said calmly seeing her entire upper body heaving.

"_Fuck you_, calm down. You're not the one who had been turned into this _thing_!" she responded aggressively. Ryan closed the door with his foot to make sure no one could see the young woman pointing a gun at the Regiment's senior Officer. "Answer me!" she growled pulling the hammer back.

"I don't know …?" he said calmly holding his hands out in a stopping motion.

"You're lying!" She said in a panicked grit. Ryan's calm reason filled face melted to one chalked with frustrated anger.

"You know what, do it, and pull the fucking trigger." He said with a growl.

"Don't test me!" she said aiming for a headshot.

"No, I want you to, because you'll be doing me a favor by putting me out of my misery." Ryan put his hands down and began walking toward her.

"Back off!" She yelled shakily. Ryan didn't do it; instead he placed himself right in the middle till the gun was pressing into his heart. Both engaged in a stare down that lasted several tense moments, then in a smooth motion Ryan snatched the gun away and slammed his fist into her jaw, knocking Sarah down flat on her back. He tossed the Colt away and with frustration grabbed the Sarah by the material of her green fatigue shirt and lifter her inches from his face.

"That is twice now you have stuck a gun in my face … I swear on your life that it will not happen a third time." He said with a gravely growl, his knuckles digging into the straps of her black tank top. Sarah threw her head into his face knocking him back but just as she was about to free herself she felt a metallic grip choke slam her to the floor. She let out a dazed gag throwing her arms up in the air trying to grab hold of her restrainer. Suddenly the grip lightened and she could breathe again.

"Now you listen to me, I didn't do anything to you. I'm not the bad guy here, _you are_!" Ryan shook her viciously.

"_You … lie" _Sarah chocked out.

"You want to know why you're here … huh?" Ryan questioned her aggressively, with a tug he brought her to her feet and dragged her to the mirror. Then with a pull of her hair she was forced to look at her youthful reflection. "This body is a _Clone_ … a Clone of your real one. Born and raised in Skynet Central. When it was old enough the machines reinstalled your memories with the purpose of being rescued by me and my Strike team. You see, you wouldn't remember anything … not a damn thing! Then with a psychological profile given by mom Skynet knows that I would never lift a hand against my hero, it knew that I would lead you back to safety in which you are given a private meeting with the old man. Then when you're alone with you're one great love again, you waste him." Through out the angry explanation of the situation Sarah suddenly felt numb with all her fearful predictions turning into truth.

"And you've been doing lovely job of executing the plan." Sarah gritted painfully at the young man. Ryan scoffed.

"You know what Operation Angel is …. It's a front. A front for what I'm supposes to do." Ryan had angry tears in his eyes.

"What's that, huh?" Sarah asked.

"I'm supposed to rescue you … then once you get to a safe zone; I torture you till you give me the location of the Skynet eugenics lab, then when you're broken. I'm supposed to kill you." Ryan turned her to face him. He looked to be in more pain then Sarah was. "But somehow Skynet's found out that I know the plan … so now it's sent mom to protect you to insure that you get to dad. So the longer I'm here with you, the longer I'm playing chicken with the girl who raised me, because Skynet thinks I'm gonna kill you." Ryan spoke with desperate infliction as if the walls were closing in on him.

"Why haven't you done it already? Why haven't you killed me yet?" Sarah asked angrily feeling like Ryan was playing god with not only her but with John.

"Irony …" Ryan chuckled all of the sudden.

"Irony?" she asked as he let go of her and continued to chuckle to himself slightly insane.

"Mom is fighting for the other side and Dad's mind is rarely in the here and now … so that means you're it … you're all I got left …" Ryan's chuckles started to sound like sobs as the stress of his choices began to bare down on him.

Sarah wasn't sure how she should feel about the situation. Should she feel grateful that Ryan loved her so fiercely that he had put his life on the line to protect her Or she should she be furious at him for not doing what was necessary to save John's life? Sarah turned to see that he had his hands on the back of his head and was pacing anxiously as if his brain was about to bust from his head.

Just then the door opened and the pale faced statue esque blond entered the room with a crisp salute. Ryan took a deep breath to collect himself and saluted back. She handed him a folded piece of paper. Ryan took it from her and began to read. The woman looked at Sarah a moment and then back at Ryan.

"Nikki …" Ryan held up the paper with a betrayed look when he finished reading, as if asking for an explanation.

"I'm sorry Rye … Someone has to take the fall for the tussle in the Valley and Eiling wants it to be you." She seemed to be very sympathetic despite the cold demeanor to her.

"Is your boss still at HQ …" Ryan asked angrily. The young woman nodded and turned to lead him there. Ryan looked to Sarah and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He motioned the blonde to go ahead.

"Ryan …" Sarah called to him. He turned to look at her. "What if I … what if I do it …?" She asked almost in fearful tears.

"You won't …" He shook his head at her with a calmed sigh.

"How do you know?" her voice was filled with indecision. Ryan walked up and looked Sarah in the eye.

"This … this is artificial …" Ryan place his cybernetic hand on her stomach. "But this is all you." He stroked her hair lightly pressing his hand on her head. "No machine how ever intelligent can take free will away from you. You're Sarah Connor and you would rather die then strike down the person you love the most in the world." He said with conviction that gave Sarah comfort and hope. She nodded with a troubled look. He touched her cheek gently in a silent apology from earlier. Then he exited the home with his head down.

Sarah repeated the mantra in her mind several more times.

***

There was quiet discussion amongst several high ranking officers when the door to the church slammed open and Ryan stormed forward in front of a table with a marked map on it.

"What the hell is this?" Ryan lifted the folded piece of paper. The others in the room looked uncomfortable and said nothing. Perry was about to speak harshly to his loose cannon officer when a slender woman with chestnut colored hair and rounded soft features that gave off an old world glamour to the woman.

"What is it Hun …" Major Ava Hayworth was gentle and maternal in tone with the hopes of halting the war path the young man she loved like her own child was on.

Ryan handed her the paper and folded his arms angrily. She read the paper. When she was done her warm eyes flashed with bitter anger. She handed the paper to Perry and placed a comforting hand on Ryan's back.

"Shit!" Perry tossed the crumpled paper on the floor. "Eiling wants a goddamn court marshal!" the man said to George who wasn't following.

"He wants to do it now?" George lifted an eyebrow.

'Figures the stupid bastard wants retaliation for his hurt pride just before a major fire fight …" Perry slammed his hands down the table.

The maternal beauty rubbed Ryan's back in a soothing manner and turned to her commanding officer. "What do you want to do with this …" she asked in a serious tone.

"We'll do it by the book." Perry growled.

"Are you kidding me!?" Ryan shouted.

"Ryan … I'm demoting you back to 1st Lieutenant. Ava … you take back Alpha" Perry spoke clearly and with authority.

"This is bullshit!" Ryan stated angrily.

"You're not wrong … but my orders still stand Mr. Connor, so I expect you to live with them." He steeled at the young man.

"I do this under protest, sir!" Ryan growled.

"Understood" the large black man stated.

"Come on sweetheart." Ava placed a hand on the Officers chest and guided him outside gently before he said something stupid

Perry narrowed his eyes as the couple left outside into the harsh sunlight.

"Connor's" He grunted with a shake of his head to George who smiled at the comment.

***

Sarah sat alone on a sandbagged defensive position where an unmanned mortar and a metallic ammo box sat. She shivered in uncertainty and fear every time she glanced at the fragile beauty looking back at her from the reflection on the box.

In truth she wasn't sure how she could have missed the fact that her age had been reduced fourteen years. On the other hand she hadn't exactly hit old age yet. With extreme daily exercise and healthy eating since her pregnancy with John, Sarah hadn't felt any different in a long time. She knew that there could have been other signs to it.

Upon testing her voice she noticed a less deep almost girlish quality to it. Then there was the way people treated her. No one seemed to bat an eye at the fact that a thirty three year old woman had no scars on her or experience with "modern" Weaponry, but the big sign should have been when everyone was okay that she was about to be the "wife" of someone fourteen years younger then her. Those thoughts alone led her to an angry realization that Lauren and Sydney knew about the shift and like Ryan, put there poker faces on.

"Hey princess …!" A deep voice called out to her from behind.

Sarah turned to a large linebacker built muscular man with sweat damped short black hair and a thick distinguished mustache and Goat tee. He had on an army green tank top and black fatigues. In his powerfully muscular arms was a large heavy looking sleek weapon.

"Command wants us to go on search and destroy in the area to clear it for tonight's engagement." The man shifted the weapon to one hand effortlessly and tossed her an ancient looking tactical shotgun that was hanging on his shoulder. "It's time you earn your keep around here and do some work that doesn't involve giving Connor blowjobs." He said with a chuckle looking at Sarah's lips hungrily. She pumped the weapon with one hand giving the man a deadly glare.

Instead of backing away he chuckled impressed at her. "A girl that knows how to handle her weapons, I see Connor coached you up after a little R&R last night." the man winked suggestively at her. Sarah continued to burn a glare at him, which in turn seemed to almost turn him on even more.

"Where are we going?" She asked marking the old weapon skillfully.

"Well … don't you want my name first …?" the man asked.

"No …" Sarah was short and indifferent. The man chuckled with a vain of superiority as if he was bidding his time with her. Sarah hated the way he was looking at her, like she was some sex object or a piece of meat, but judging that he was someone who can tell people when and where to go he must be important.

"Morgan …!" Sydney came up to the both of them. Sarah gave the pale auburn haired girl a dark glare. "Is there a reason that your bothering Ms. Baum, Sergeant?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest. The man gave the young woman an arrogant smirk.

"What, you jealous baby?" the man had a deep almost growl to his voice. Sarah looked back and fourth between the two. Sydney was shorter then the tall man she was also a good deal younger.

"I'll ask again … what are you doing?" she frowned. It was clearly apparent that despite Sydney's Officer ranking she was not the alpha of the building conversation.

"I'm just giving Connor's _perfect_ little bride here a weapon to defend herself on the patrol." He grinned with a charming wink.

"Well, guess what … she not coming on patrol." Sydney tried to take the weapon out of Sarah's hand. But all she did was jerk when the weapon didn't budge.

"Says who?" Sarah growled in protest. The young woman gave the other girl a confused look.

"Sarah…?" she shook her head. Sarah ripped the weapon out of Sydney's grip angrily.

"Give me that ammo belt." Sarah ordered nodding to the leather belt with rows of red shotgun shells in little holders.

"Hell yeah, that's the spirit!" The man chuckled. As he walked toward Sarah he consciously bumped Sydney out of the way nearly knocking the brown eyed girl over. She gave Sydney a look of cold defiance as the staff sergeant draped the belt over her shoulder ignoring the man whose hands were sliding over he fatigue clad chest in a discreet groping manner.

Sarah had enough of being treated like a little girl. With every fiber of her being she wanted to prove she was still the warrior at heart, not the fragile beauty in the reflection. She understood that what she was doing was careless, but she was no longer a needed protector and with the knowledge that she couldn't go back to her timeline looking the way she did. She needed to prove not only to herself but to everyone else that she was still a soldier.

When the man was done he grabbed Sarah by the front of her pants.

"Come on … we got work to do." He gave a victorious grin to a flabbergasted and somewhat worried Sydney.

***

Sarah was starting to get flashbacks to Central America as she followed the Staff Sergeant into the brushy landscape.

The jungle was dense and with the trees close together it made the air very thin and suffocating. After several moments of fighting through thick shrubs she came to a small clearing where sweaty soldiers where digging fox holes into the ground. Then like a well oiled machine they moved the used dirt into sacks which they were using to cover the holes like miniature bunkers. Several yards in front of her, Sarah saw a familiar powerful running river.

She noticed that there were only some soldiers digging. Those that were looked much like the Gray from earlier. They had a milky almost pale complexion. They also where incredibly attractive looking. But what caught Sarah's attention was the fact that those who weren't digging looked like many of the officer in the 132nd, they were gruff and tattered looking, tanned and with an almost primal animalistic quality to them. There was also one constant, they all had a look of pure hatred for the partly dressed pale looking teens who looked almost scared out of there mind.

"Eyes on me!" the Sergeant called sternly. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to the man. He gave glare of anger at the teens digging. "Did I say stop digging?" He said dangerously. The teens went back to shoveling the dirt with sad frightened looks of abuse on there otherwise perfect faces.

"So Command wants us on cleaning duty … so keep an eye out for any metal or _them_ out there." the Sergeant called out to the groups of sweaty males and females.

"Is there a reason you're doing my Job, Eddie?" the sound of Sydney's voice sounded behind them. Both Sarah and the Sergeant turned to the pretty auburn haired girl.

"Just warming them up, Baby …" The larger man gave a sleazy look her way. She ignored the man and gave a glance over to the teens digging.

"If this is a briefing then why a quarter of the Chalk still not assembled?" she asked slightly angered. The man gave a disrespectful snort the girl's way.

"Because there Gravies, what do they possibly need to be informed off." The Sergeant scoffed.

"They are apart of this unit …" Sydney argued back.

"What, it's simple, we stick the males on point to avoid any major losses to _our_ _people_ and we put the girls in the back so that after word we can fuck there brains out, then nine months later we contributed to repopulation of the planet." The man explained his solution as if going over simple math.

Sarah looked at him with complete disgust that went right down to her soul. She couldn't believe that someone could treat another human being like they were cattle or worst.

"They're not slaves … they're people Eddie and they deserve to be treated accordingly." Sydney's tone suggested that she was as disgusted as Sarah was.

"Yeah, well not to me they ain't …" He chuckled evilly and before disappearing he gave Sarah a hard slap to her rear. She gave an enraged glare at the man and wanted nothing more to smash his skull in with the shotgun, but she held back knowing that she would only cause more trouble for herself.

Listening to the way this staff sergeant Eddie Morgan spoke and acted. It reminded her of another man who she learned about heavy weapons from. He also was a strong, sadistic bastard. Sarah learned a lot from him … but the things she let him do to her when it came time for payment made her shiver. Sarah shook her head away from the traumatizing, not to mention degrading memories that iced her veins.

"Everyone listen up!" Sydney announced motioning the teens over. "As Sergeant Morgan had informed you we are on search and destroy … it should be pretty routine since the 82nd already swept through here earlier this morning on there way over to the passes. I want you to spread out and watch out for anything unusual or mechanical, we know that there was a Gray patrol combing over the area so there might be surveillance equipment." The young woman's briefing was awkward and a bit underwhelming. Sarah could tell that the troops in front of the young woman had little confidence in there leader and worst … there leader had little confidence in herself.

***

The sound of boots thumping the jungle floor and pants scraping past brush where the only noise that echoed through the thick green landscape. Despite the silence there was a lack of intensity amongst the soldiers, in fact there was a wordless awe at the concentration of the plant life the soldiers where surrounded by.

Unlike Sarah who had seen a nature trail only six days prior, many of the soldiers of the 1st platoon, Company Alpha, 132nd Tech-Com hadn't been inside a forest in many years and those who where born close to or after Judgment Day had never before scene one in there entire lives.

As the unit made there way across the chest deep running water, there was a collective sigh amongst those who felt a cooling relief from the rushing liquid as the carried there rifles over there heads.

Once on the banks, Sydney divided the soaked soldiers in there squads and spread them out over the banks. Sarah scowled when Sydney ordered her into the middle of the formation near the young officer.

Then with a silent motion the Platoon entered the heart of the dark canopies.

***

The trek through the uneven ground of the heart of the jungle was challenging as well as frustrating as many of the new recruits kept tripping and falling on tree roots and plants. This was mainly due to the soldier's sight seeing more then being cautious. Sarah even caught Sydney being guilty of taking off her focus to look at Mother Nature.

The only thing that gave Sarah a piece of mind was that they were only doing this as a secondary precaution. But then Sarah Connor knew better.

"_No one is ever safe." _

After twenty minutes of stepping over roots and helping a teenage Gravy get his foot uncaught, Sarah was starting to feel like she could've found something more useful to do other then to take a long hiking trip through the woods.

Then there was a small clicking of a bird call. Immediately all in the vicinity turned to the fluttering sound of wings as a red coated Parakeet landed on a branch above them.

Sarah smiled as she looked up at the beautiful bird as everyone else in the line stopped and stared in child like wonder.

Then suddenly Sarah had a flash.

***

"_MOM, MOM!"_ _The sound of a little boy called out to a woman in her mid twenties._

_The woman stopped in her tracks and spun around looking to find her little boy no where near her. Though the call was not in distress she backtracked quickly._

_Brushing past plants and leaves she reached a small boy with brunette hair that was dressed exactly like her, with an automatic weapon in his hand and a backpack that was larger then him. _

"_Look" the boy pointed to a white faced parakeet with a red coat. _

_Sarah relished in John's small happiness for only a second, giving the bird a glance. _

"_We got to keep moving." _

_***_

The smile on Sarah's face lingered as she saw the exact same white faced bird chuckle in the branches in the trees.

The smile turned into a sad one as she longed to see John again. To hold him in her arms again, to watch him sleep and feel is little breath on her stomach which he use to be his pillow in the jungle.

She missed her boy so much it hurt.

CRACK!!

CRACK! CRACK!

CRACK!!

The next thing Sarah knew there were three sickening thuds that knocked down the boy she helped out of a root.

"AMBUSH!"

Sarah dropped to the floor on instanced as another Soldier dropped to the floor with bullet holes in his chest.

The sound of automatic machine gun fire could be heard in the distance as bullet sprays kicked up dirt all around her. With trained instincts Sarah returned fire with the boom of her shot gun at the muzzle flashes from a tree line several yards away.

"Son of bitch …" Sarah cursed when she saw that she was out of range for her gun to be affective. Crawling she reached one of the dying soldiers.

He had a blank lifeless look in his eyes as blood oozed out of his chest. Feeling slightly guilty Sarah snatched up the man's plasma rifle and pulled the trigger. With slight recoil the weapon sent a bolt of light toward a muzzle flash.

"Battalion CP this is Ghost Rider one zero, we are taking heavy fire from an enemy ambush point, over!" Sarah over heard a familiar voice call over the firefight. Crawling on her stomach she reached the pretty auburn haired officer who was flat on her back and had a phone pressed to her ear that was connected to a wire that stretched to a radio backpack that was strapped to an unmoving teenage girl.

"_**This is Battalion CP were receiving you Ghost Rider. What is your position, over?"**_

Sarah crawled over to the motionless girl, upon turning her head she saw a hole clear through the spiky haired brunette's forehead.

"We're …" Sydney cut off when there was an explosion near the two young women. "GODDAMMIT GET THAT ELEPHANT UP HERE!" she boomed to some soldiers behind them in a voice that Sarah had never heard her use before. The male and female ran hunched several yards away from there Commanding Officer before dropping down to there stomachs. The male was carrying a large sleek weapon with some tape wrapped around the barrel, while the female carried a belt of large silver magazines.

"We're in Sector E, Grid 6, 20 clicks from the blue line!!" Sarah watched the couple set up the large weapon, while Sydney barked into the phone. The large gun whined mechanically before a blinding rate of bolted light was spit out at the tree line in short bursts. Sarah was impressed when she saw the machine gun like laser weapon saw several trees in half.

"2nd Squad give me a firing line, here!" Sydney yelled behind her and pointed to her and Sarah's position. There was a delayed movement forward with several Resistance members getting slugged with bullets. Dropping to there stomachs, there was a wiring that went down the gaped line before plasma bolts started to match up with the muzzle flashes. "3rd squad, take the left flank!" Sydney directed on a headset.

Sarah took a moment to watch the others around her operate there weapons so she could see how to work them. After a moment she began to fire the weapon with expert aim knocking down muzzle flashes. She wasn't sure what she was shooting at, but instincts had taken over and she was just fighting back.

After several moments the weapon powered down on it's own. She pressed the trigger over and over to no response.

"_Dammit, out of ammo" _

Sarah looked hurriedly over her weapon. She couldn't find the magazine release. Looking up she saw a smoke trail in midair and felt a explosion only yards away.

A light warm spray of liquid coded the side of her face. With a shaky turn she glanced at the male and female gun crew. She saw the weapon tossed to the side, twisted and broke. Then her belly clenched when she saw pieces of human limbs scattered around her and Sydney. Sarah touched the side of her face and looked on mini red chunks that were staining her hand.

There was a silent moment as she glanced around the area.

"Sarah"

Everything was silent as the dead bodies seemed to be around her.

"Sarah!"

"_Is this what John dreams about?" _

"Sarah!!"

She turned to Sydney who was yelling her name.

"Sarah, flip the switch!" The girl ordered. With an almost dazed look she leaned over and turned a knob on the dead girls back pack. "Battalion CP this is Ghost Rider … Fire Mission, Fire Mission! On tree line 5 clicks from our recorded position, over!"

"_**Copy that Ghost Rider. Hang in there baby!" **_

Then there was a firework like explosion above the other side of Sydney. Sarah threw her arms over her head for cover. She felt a sharp stinging pain in her thigh. Uncovering herself Sarah saw a glint of tiny metallic shrapnel the size of a postage stamp stuck in her leg. Gritting her teeth Sarah picked it out causing a small stream of blood to rush out momentarily put stop quickly. She sighed in relief then tuned to Sydney.

Sarah's breath was caught in her throat when she saw the pretty young officer moaning in tortures pain, on her back. Sarah quickly crawled over to the other girl. Sydney had a large piece of jagged metal lodged in her leg and a semi circle of her outer palm was cut away.

"Christ … Medic!" Sarah shouted as she loomed over the girl who was grunting in animalistic growls of pain. "Hang on …!"

A man rushed through gun fire toward them and slid like he was stealing home plate. Wordlessly the blond man began to tear equipment out of a messenger bag.

"_Ouch …" _Sydney groaned in a tender little girl like voice that broke Sarah's heart.

"I know honey … but you're going to be fine." The medic comforted the girl as he examined her hand. Sarah spotted that the missing part of her palm was blackened which meant that it was cauterized. He then turned to the leg. "Hey … I'm going to have to pull this out, when I count to three I want you to hold her down!" He yelled at Sarah.

"Alright …" Sarah turned and mounted Sydney's stomach and pressed down on her shoulders. The girl shook her head in protest with glint of tears in her eyes.

"One"

there was a grunt of protest and the young woman under Sarah let out a blood chilling scream, then began to heave her chest with a helpless look on her face as tears where washing down her cheeks.

Just as Sarah dismounted Sydney there were loud electric booms that echoed through the woods.

"INCOMING!"

Sarah dove to cover the young officer's body. The entire Jungle was engulfed in a bright violet light before huge earthquake tremors rocked the ground. Explosion after explosion shook the brushy floor, snapping trees and incinerating plants.

After several moments there was complete utter silence. Looking up from her sheltering pose, Sarah saw that the entire tree line where the muzzle flashes where coming from was turned into a clearing of splintered wood and fallen logs.

There was an ozone gas like smell around the area. Turning back she saw Sydney looking up at her with apologetic eyes.

"_I'm sorry for … lying to you." _She said weakly.

"I know, I'm not hearing you talk that Crazy good bye shit, L.T.?" the medic chastised using some sort of grafter that Sarah had never seen before.

Heavy footfalls came right behind Sarah and stopped with a large masculine shadow blanketing the pretty girl's face.

"Oh shit … they actually got you!?" the Staff Sergeant laughed with a snort at the terrified Lieutenant. Sarah looked up at him with a murderous glare. Instead of being reproached he gave a humorous laugh and casually strolled to the radio and took a knee turning the dead girl over to look at her.

"_Damn … and she was a good fuck too …" _he muttered with a shake of his head, to which Sarah had to fight to keep her anger in check. He disrespectfully dropped her with a thud and took the phone on the ground.

"_**Ghost Rider this is Battalion CP has the area been cleaned out of hostiles?" **_

"Not quite sure … CP. You want me to go check?" The man reported checking the dead girl's utility belt for anything of value.

"_**Negative … you are to evac your wounded and hold position till further instruction, over and out."**_

There was a pause from everyone as Morgan hung up the receiver on the radio.

"Ha, Fuck that …" he said with a chuckle. The burley man turned to those in 2nd squad who where looking at the temporary platoon commander.

"You, you, and … you" the Staff Sergeant pointed to several of the Gravies that survived there first battle. They looked in absolute horror and disbelief at the man who was grinning smugly. "I want you to go check out to see if there isn't anymore of them out there." he motioned to the wrecked tree line where the ambush was. "And …" he trailed off and with a violent motion he tugged Sarah up by the back of her fatigue button down. "You should _lead them_." The monster of a man once again gave a swift slap to Sarah's butt.

This time with flashes of her crying while a similar man in mood and appearance degrading her in front of John, she pulled back and with one powerful crack she knocked the large man back into the tree.

"You keep your damn hands off me …!" she growled dangerously. Several members rose and held her back. There was a rack from a shotgun and when the man got to his feat he pointed it at Sarah angrily.

"Or what … you'll tell _Boy Wonder_ that I was being _touching_ you … huh, _princess_ ?" he chuckled playfully as if this was all apart of game Sarah was playing with him. The two shared a stare down with each other. Then with shit eating grin he tossed Sarah the weapon. "… Get that ample ass down there to check or I'll give you more then a slap." He growled grabbing Sydney's fallen rifle then pumped the weapon.

Sarah gave him a vicious look then turned to the fallen trees, then back. Then with an angry look she motioned the scared teen's to follow.

"_Crazy, blood thirsty bastard …" _one of the teens said shakily.

Sarah agreed full heartedly.

***

The soldiers were in a tense silence as Sarah led point with the tactical shotgun stepping around bullet ridden trees.

There was a pressure inside her chest as she could clearly hear the shaking breath of one of the teen girls behind her. Sarah had always made John's safety a priority when on missions, but that was the existent of her leadership experience discounting being the captain of the Varsity cheer squad her senior year in high school. Now she was in charge of three teens that were just as scared and lost as she was. She pushed those emotions and thoughts to the back of her head.

With a shaky sigh she moved into the blacked out zone where the plasma artillery rounds had struck. Amongst the over turned tree limbs and ash where skeletal remains with scorched AK-47's.

"They were human?" Sarah observed a skull before one of the youths spoke up.

"Grays don't use bullets … no one does, but the Resistance and even then it's only shotguns and pistols." The boy told her with a confused look.

There was a shuffle in the brush that caused Sarah to point her shotgun at the methodical scrubbing brushes of the unseen moving object. Sarah motioned her squad forward, stalking the crawling figure.

When they came to bare on the mysterious figure, they stopped dead in there tracks.

"He's … he's a member of the village …" one of the girls chocked out in shock. Sarah glanced in shock at the Mexican man who had a hole through side.

The man turned over and looked Sarah in the eye. There was something almost regretful in his look as he died. Sarah was shocked as were the rest of the others.

"Did we make a mistake … did they make a mistake?" one of the teens asked her. Sarah turned and saw a palm pilot stuck in his hands with a familiar map and markings like the one on the maps that the Gray had on him from that morning.

"No … the villagers where helping Skynet all along, they where giving the Grays our exact defensive positions for tonight's assault." Sarah sounded as if someone had broken her favorite doll.

There was a value of disbelief to the words she spoke. Sarah had always believed that John, her son, would lead all of a united humanity against Skynet. She thought the human race was bounded together in unity of the one great cause she had been apart of for her last three years as a teenager and all her adult life. The Grays she could handle, because Skynet had created them and used them like puppets. But these people, the villagers, the Resistance was there for there protection to save them from the mechanical nightmare. But instead they chose to betray them, there protectors. Sarah felt like something was dying inside her when she thought about John and how he must have felt when he realized that the romantic visions she planted in his head since he was old enough to understand were shattered when things like this happened to him.

Sarah had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she missed a female villager jump out from behind a tree. On instinct Sarah pulled the trigger and blew the woman away.

She breathed harshly when she saw what she had done.

"_I killed someone … another human …a human woman." _

Suddenly she felt weak. Shaking, she fell to the ground. Sarah saw one of her female squad member's drop to her knees and start pressing on her lower shoulder. In her haze she turned and saw blood flowing out of her. Sarah felt like her body had gone limp as she fell back on to the ashy ground.

Looking up Sarah saw a perfect blue sky over the looming tree branches.

Then everything went black.

***

_The sound of a fire crackling peacefully mixed with a the soft strumming of a distant Spanish Guitar was something that was unique to the part of the world were a beautiful girl barely out of her teens had chosen to raise her baby. _

_Now in the peaceful night, she lounged using a rolled up sleeping mat as a pillow as the breath taking youth stared up at the endless field of millions of twinkling stars, absently stroking the hair of a chubby four year old boy who was fast asleep using her partly exposed toned midriff as a substituted pillow._

_The girl wondered whither she would ever love another man again or if she would spend her life pinning away for a dead hero with her only friend being the little boy laying on her. _

_The girl turned to the little person on her mind. He shifted slightly and whimpered. The girl knew he was having a bad dream. _

_In one scoop she collected the boy and placed him on top of her moving his little head against the smooth exposed skin that her tank top didn't cover. The rhythm of her heart some how always calmed the boy. With a relieved sigh, he placed a little chubby hand on her lips. He was feeling to make sure she was real. _

_The youthful beauty smiled and kissed the hand gently. The boy gave a pirate grin in his sleep and lowered his hand, placing it under her chin. She wrapped her arms around the small boy and she returned to observation of the star littered sky. _

_She smiled when and thought that life couldn't be so bad if she could hold on to her only true love like this forever. _

_***_

A dizzy drowsiness and her lying on a soft hospital mattress was first thing Sarah felt since her heavenly dream.

Though her vision was blurred she could feel her head was placed gently on top of a soft T-shirt that covered the chest of a person that was lying on the bed with her. Under her ear she could hear the quiet thumping of a heart. From the corner of her fuzzy vision she saw a blur of navy blue. She could also feel a protective arm gingerly placed around her waist.

As her vision cleared slightly she got a good look of a black leather clad hand scratching neat writing on a legal pad with a pencil.

"Ryan?" she asked sleepy.

"Hmm …" He grunted in response continuing to write.

"Where's John …?" She asked confused why her baby wasn't with them.

"He went to get you some water … he'll be back in a minute." The young man indulged in her drugged fantasy, giving her a sad but loving smile.

"Okay … wait by himself …he's only four …" she sounded slightly distressed.

"It's alright … Enrique went with him …" He reassured her calmingly. She nodded with a sleepy sigh.

"I'm going to shut my eyes for a moment … till they get back" Sarah said returning to the soothing sound of Ryan's heart beat.

"Don't worry I'll be here when you wake up …"

**So we're coming down to the end here in the story ... so love to get some of you guys thoughts. **

**PS. Don't think that Staff Sergeant Morgan is going to get away with harassing Sarah. **

**Next Chapter **

**1st Lieutenant Connor Vs. Staff Sergeant Morgan and more Cameron backstory **


	18. Bargain at The Crossroads

**Bargain at the Crossroads**

**2024**

_Heavy and quick footfalls sounded through the empty medical wing hallway of the Resistances headquarters. The footfalls belonged to a man who was desperate and worried as he headed to the viewing gallery of the surgical room in the military instillation. _

_When he reached the door his large gauntlet clad hand reached out and pushed it open effortlessly. The room was darkened and covered by three rows of seats facing a plate glass window with the operation room below. _

_The man walked purposefully to the window and looked down at a group of surgeons who where finishing the bandaging on the body of a barely breathing teen with raven hair and a tanned complexion. The man ran his hands through his spiked hair in disbelief resting them behind his head like a winded runner. His handsome face was scrunched in fear and alarm as he saw the extent of his son's wounds. The man's green eyes flashed in fear as he spotted a bandaged stump where the young soldiers left arm use to be and thick gauss surgically tapped to his right eye which was a tell tale sign that the caramel colored orb was missing._

"_He's alive, John …" a tender voice called to the threadbare uniformed man from the shadows. His face went from a terrified parent to a cold rage in an instant. He turned slowly to the silhouette of a familiar angelic beauty that had a similar look of paternal worry. _

"_Damn you, Cameron … goddamn you!" He growled as he turned to the shadow with anger._

"_John … I" the girl couldn't seem to find the words to address her former love with. _

"_He never gave up on you … after all these years! He still looked for you, he still believed you were some damsel in a cage somewhere … and this is how you repay the undeserved love and devotion he shows you?!!" John Connor had never been as angry and hurt in his entire life as he was at that moment looking on the woman that he loved with every fiber of his being._

"_I didn't do this to him, John, I brought him here, I saved his life …" Cameron took a step out of the shadows. Even after all the years of absence and anger John still had to catch his breath at his gorgeous wife._

"_No, you're wrong, you are responsible for all of this … you may have not been the machine that took his eye and arm, but you sent him on the path that lead him to his … death bed." John paused at the freezing pain in his chest at the thought of losing his son. _

"_You never told him the truth …?" Cameron asked with a hint of hurt in her voice at the brutal and cold reception from the man that vowed to love and cherish her forever._

"_Tell him what … That his mother wasn't kidnapped, but instead ran out on him so she could go be a play thing for a liquid machine? How do I tell an eleven year old that?" John was hard in tone and cold in voice. _

"_That's not what happened …" Cameron started but was interrupted by the gallery door opening and Lauren stepping inside with blood covered scrubs. John shot an anticipating look his old friend's way. _

"_There is good news and bad news, Johnny …" she said addressing the larger human in the couple. "We got him stable, but he's still critical which might be a permanent condition due to the heavy damage he took in the fight with the monster truck." She sighed and was professional despite her own maternal like sorrow. _

"_Will he live?" Cameron asked with human devastation. Lauren looked at Cameron then back at John as if silently asking him for permission to address the teenage queen. When John didn't answer she cleared her throat and turned to the girl. _

"_He'll live … but he doesn't have every long … I'm so sorry, there just isn't much we can do other then keep him comfortable." Lauren's eyes watered as she touched John's fatigue shirt intimately._

"_Can I see him?" John asked numbly. Lauren nodded and then excused herself when she couldn't hold back her emotions. _

_Alone again Cameron reached for John's hand. The man moved away from it with a flash of hatred in his eyes. Then he left the room, leaving Cameron alone in tears. _

***

"There is a right way and a wrong way to fight this war …!"

"Jesus Fucking Christ, Connor, You actually believe that bullshit your daddy spits out?"

"Every word you son of bitch!"

"That's enough, both of you!"

Sarah awoke to the sound of argument from another room. Opening her eyes she found herself lying on a familiar cot in the old Mexican home that Ryan had been using as a company HQ. She felt a bit numb, but alert enough to move. She sighed and turned to the raised voices.

She bristled in anger to see Morgan standing at the table with his large back to her. Across from the large man Ryan looked like he was on the verge of axe murdering the Staff Sergeant.

"Fighting isn't going to get anyone what they want …" a gentle maternal voice chastised both soldiers from out of Sarah's sight.

"Meh, Connor's just pissed, because I got some grime on his fragile little princess." The Staff Sergeant said in a mocking manner baiting the Officer.

"Go to hell." Ryan shot back barring his teeth.

"I said that's enough!" the female voice took a stern tone. "Ryan this is war, you of all people know that the price comes high and people we love can get hurt. Sergeant Morgan I will not tolerate your insubordination … if you ever step out of line or knowingly endanger the lives of your men again I'll have you thrown in the brig." The woman was sharply cold in addressing the muscular man.

"I hear you loud and clear Major Hayworth, _Sir_." Morgan gave a sarcastic and condescending reply.

"Ryan … you have 1st platoon." The unseen female addressed the young man in a voice that sounded like she was sticking it back at the Sergeant.

"You're kidding me, right?" Morgan moaned with a bitter angry voice at the statement.

"After what you've shown me today Eddie … why in the hell would I ever give you a commission?" the female voice was once again gashingly sharp.

"Because this joke is a waste of genetics, it's hard to believe that a _goddess of War _like Cameron could give birth to this ball less, self-righteous, idiot who gets his commands wiped out, because he lives in a fairytale word where his grandma's Code of Honor actually means something." Morgan chuckled at the raven haired soldier

Sarah felt a deep seeded rage at not only the insult he threw at someone she cared about deeply, but at his statement that there is no need for a code of conduct. The Code of Honor Sarah had taught John who in turn taught Ryan was something Sacred that she believed in with all her heart and to hear someone insult it was an attack not only on her beliefs, but on her soul.

"You don't know the first thing about my mom or my family." Ryan said dangerously.

"Oh, I know that your Mama was twice the soldier you are and that she was willing to get her hands dirty." The man leaned in as if trying to draw in the other soldier. "I was there during the Greenwood R&D massacre and I saw what she did … and I have to say it was _fucking inspiring_." He growled as if the memory of the incident was sexually gratifying. Ryan answered the comments with a cold almost shameful look at the mention of the name.

"You can bitch and moan all you want Eddie, but my orders stand as directed … you two better find away to make this work before Skynet gets here or the blood is on your hands." Sarah watched a petite chestnut haired woman in a sweated through T-shirt and green fatigue pants walk out of the home and into the late afternoon sun.

When the door closed there was a tense silence between the two soldiers. Discreetly Sarah sat up; she turned to her injury and saw that there was a fresh bandage wrapped vertically around her shoulder which was tender to the touch.

"So what's it going to be LT, friends or enemies?" Morgan asked with the same smug condescending tone he used with Sydney, once again trying to exert an alpha presence with another commanding platoon officer.

"How about neither …" Ryan said quietly. The larger man laughed at the younger soldier and walked over to another side of the table closer to Ryan.

"Then what do you suggest _Boy Wonder_?" Morgan was belligerent in addressing the war hero.

Without warning Ryan snapped a jab into the man's stomach and with his gloved hand he slapped it into the larger soldier's nerve cluster in his neck with a martial artist like precision. Ryan let the Staff Sergeant choke in pain for a second before he grabbed Morgan by the neck in a style Sarah had seen Cameron use more then once. Then he choke slammed the Staff Sergeant to the table. With Morgan pinned Ryan drew a knife from his belt and with a skilled twirl with his gloved fingers he grazed the man's cheek as he stuck it into the wood with a slam.

"Now you listen to me you sadistic bastard." Ryan pulled out a demonic gravely voice that made Sarah's heart skip a beat. "I'm not Sydney and I'm sure as hell not Holder … you will follow every order I give you. If I tell you to go hunting metal with a pistol you better damn do it!" He lifted Morgan up then forced him back down causing the blade of the knife to dig deeper into the man's skin. "And one more thing, if you ever fondle Sarah again …" Ryan pulled the knife out of the table with a flick causing a groan of pain from the pined man. "I'm gonna show just how much of my mom I have in me." He said dangerously placing a knife on the Sergeant's neck.

Sarah stood when she saw a murderous intent in her grandchild's eyes just like the kind she saw in John's before he killed Sarcissian in her defense. The action caught Ryan's attention, he relented in her presence and he gave a shaky calming breath. He turned back to the semi conscious Staff Sergeant with fiery eyes.

"I think we're clear on things …" Ryan dragged the man by his muscle shirt strap to the door. "You're dismissed!" with a grunt Ryan tossed the man out of the house to which Morgan landed with a thud and rolled into the street. There were several soldiers who walked to him and looked at the Officer. Ryan kicked the door shut with a slam.

He paused after the action and braced himself against the door with his arms, he breathed shallowly looking down at the dirty floor boards. Sarah walked into the main room and stopped at the now bare table. She felt not only proud but a bit of motherly love for the young man in front of her who not only settled a score with someone who was harassing her, but the action helped her conquer some of the residual feelings of sadness that came from the sexual abuse she had been reliving from her past.

It may have something to do with her brain reverting back to the young woman in her reflection, but Sarah started to feel a youthful somewhat stupid sense of trust in the young man.

"So what do you think?" Ryan chuckled between calming pants.

"I give it a six … the door slam was weak, but a nice touch." She smiled at him. Her sense of humor seemed to be something that she was regaining slightly.

Ryan snorted and seemed to return back to normal, standing up straight. He walked back to her and examined her shoulder.

"How do you feel?" He asked looking at the bandage.

"Still a bit weak." She admitted feeling a dizzy spell overtake her. Ryan smiled and caught her, letting her use him for support.

"That's because you're a stubborn pain in the ass that got up too fast with the drugs not fully out of your system." He said with a sigh. Sarah tried to stand on her own but couldn't as drowsiness started to blur her senses slightly.

"I think I'm gonna pass out?" She said trying to conquer the sleep that was threatening to over take her again.

"You will …" He sighed as he slung a plasma rifle over his shoulder with one hand while steadying Sarah with his other. Sure enough Sarah was out like a light and was snoozing lightly on his chest.

Ryan chuckled to himself as he grabbed a green threadbare fatigue shirt left for him by Ava and tucked it under Sarah's tank top for safe keeping. After a moment of checking his equipment he swept Sarah up in his arms effortlessly and carried her out of the house and toward the jungle.

***

**2024**

_John had taken a walk around the base looking for some sort of answers about what to do. He listened to every tape Sarah had ever made him. Not because she held the answers he sought, but because he need to hear her, needed to hear the voice of someone who loved him without a hint of doubt, who would never betray him, who was always on his side no matter what._

_As he stopped the last of Sarah's tape he heard the door to his quarters open and a soft graceful sound of footfalls approach him from behind. _

"_Weaver let you practice Ballet in her Harem?" John asked coldly leaning back in his command chair and listened to the precise steps of his once beloved ballerina. _

"_It was encouraged … she immensely enjoyed watching me dance." Cameron spoke with an ashamed tone at the mention of it. _

"_I bet she did …" John growled bitterly propping his nose on his knuckle. "So while Ryan starved in the Desert, you gave that Terminator Bitch a private recital … and I bet she enjoyed the after party too …" John was dark in tone and mood as he addressed his wife with his chair swiveled facing the wall. _

_Cameron looked down a moment then back up with determination in her cold eyes as she shrugged off John's comment. "There's a way to help him, John …" Cameron spoke with an emotionless voice. _

"_No, he doesn't need your help." John said darkly. _

"_He's my son too." Cameron said coldly. _

"_No … no he's not, you gave up your rights up to him the day you let that Terminator suck you up!" John turned his chair to face her and pointed his finger at her in a chastising manner. _

"_There is more to the story …" Cameron said to her spouse walking forward in a challenging motion. _

"_Enlighten me …" the fatigue clad man growled. _

"_I had just been dismissed from duty that night and was undressing for bed when Weaver appeared. She wanted to make us pay for killing her child … the AI platform that was using Cromartie's body as a host that we destroyed when we leveled Zirea Corp. she told me that she was going to kill Ryan in front of me like we killed her child in front of her." Cameron stood and looked a silent John in the eye. _

_The hero of humanity tightened his throat and clenched his jaw. "So what happened?" He asked. _

"_I knew I couldn't defeat her in combat so I offered her a trade. She was intrigued at my maternal guarding of a small child and surmised that I like her was a sentient machine, capable of moving past my program. So she accepted my offer and demanded to take me." Cameron's eyes flashed with pain. _

"_What happened with Ryan?" John asked bitterly. _

"_Weaver still wanted revenge and though I begged her not too, she chose to traumatize him. She stripped me and when Ryan arrived Weaver ate me alive." Cameron paused and turned away with a single tear sliding down her cheek despite an emotionless face. "She hadn't calculated that you would drop humanity to the side to find me, which to her made me even more precious. In the time between fleeing from you and Ryan … she experimented on me with different levels of both mental and … physical intimacy in order to understand how I could fall in love with you." Cameron stopped and a look of human trauma flashed across her face at the flashes of memories. _

_John's mind went to a dark place with his imagination going wild with images of what Weaver might have done to his lover in the name of experimentation. _

"_What about the night you came to me in the mountains in Chile?" John's voice was grinded and there was a hint of devastation at the very thought of that night. _

"_John … please you have to understand that Weaver … she was sick of being chased, she didn't want to play games anymore … if I hadn't came to you … if I hadn't lied about finding a better life that gave me potential with being Weaver's mate, then she was going to kill you." Cameron took steps toward John. "I said those things to save you … to save our son." She took his hand cautiously and when John didn't move away she placed it on her cheek. _

_John looked so broken up and tired as he felt Cameron's familiar skin under his palm. Angry tears slowly flowed from his eyes as if being drained of poison. _

"_I've hated you for so many years … for what you did to Ryan and for what you did to me …" he gritted his teeth in anger. Cameron closed her eyes as if she was resigning her fate to his callous hands. _

"_I did what I had to save our child's life … to save your life and I would go through what I have millions of times over to ensure your safety, because I love you … both of you, more then anything." Cameron spoke in a docile tone as she opened her eyes and looked into hardened green gems. John lowered his thumb to her lower lip and traced the moist skin. She gently took his wrist continuing to look into his eyes. _

_Years of hatred melted away in the stare and with a longing John wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and lifted her up effortlessly to eye level were she tossed her arms around his strong neck and the two kissed each other deeply. _

_Without breaking the kiss he carried her to his bed. _

_***_

Soft water running serenely was a peaceful and relaxing sound that made Sarah content as she opened her eyes from the last of her drug induced coma.

Lying back on a sandbagged covered foxhole, she had seen just before the patrol. Sarah looked around to find that the dead silent Jungle was now darkened as evening spread through the thick forest.

Sarah sat up and looked around a moment, trying to see the through the dim blanket of darkness finding the only light coming from a clearing in front of the mini bunker.

The sky was purple and orange as darkness had already fallen on the earth below. Squinting she noticed the lonely figure of a young man sitting on the sandbagged structure staring at the reflection of the beautiful evening sky on the clear flowing water. Something moved inside Sarah as she could feel a deep sadness from the lone young man that seemed to be almost infecting the secluded environment around them.

She stood slowly and walked cautiously around the other side of the defensive pod to where the shadow was sitting. When she reached him, she saw Ryan a million miles away with a look of sadness on his face. Sarah tilted her head and hopped up next to him. Both were silent as Sarah looked at the blurry dying light of the day reflecting on the rivers surface.

"I think I'm going to die tonight …" Ryan spoke with resignation and a dip of his head.

Sarah frowned, she wanted to tell him that he was full of it, that he was imagining things, but she felt it too and it was eating her alive.

"You know … when I was younger … I use to think that when I grew up, I was going to be a hero, that … I would find mom and bring her back home safely … and Dad, Mom, and Me … we would be a family again … but after all the years later here I am at the end, no mother, no father, and no family. Just a under strength platoon and twelve thousand machines coming at me …" He chuckled with a sniffle and sighed sadly looking out across the river to the shadowed tree line of the far bank.

"That's not true …" Sarah said turning to look at the officer. "You may not have Cameron and John might not be here … but you have a family, because as long as I'm here you'll never be alone …" Sarah said taking his cheek in her hand and stroking it gently feeling the soft stubble between her fingers. Sarah knew that the young man in front of her was John's baby who in her mind made him her baby by default and no child of hers whoever the mother is will ever feel abandoned as long as she was breathing.

Ryan gave her a rough smile and with a flash of weariness that went down to the soul he leaned his head into the crook of her sweat glossed neck in a childlike need of paternal reassurance in his dark hour. Sarah's eyes lightened as she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his head as they sat in the comforting embrace.

There was a silence that griped both as Sarah held Ryan tightly. She kissed his head and squeezed her eyes shut feeling like the young soldier was about to stand in front of a firing squad.

When Sarah Connor was a girl her father left her and her mother when she was seven, ever since that day she was notorious for becoming overly attached to people who showed an interest in her. This was something that Sarah could never shake away. Often times when John was little she was the one who showed interest in the people that could teach her something of value. But for those few who cared for her from the start she clung to them looking for some sort of love, a connection to someone or something in her cursed life. It never ended well some believed she was clingy other thought she was nuts. Then after she was Raped Sarah closed herself off. The large burly Ex-Green Berea Colonel had not only broken something deep inside her, he had killed all the traces of the young woman who was once loved by all who met her, leaving only a shell of a hardened warrior.

So when Sarah found herself once again in the body of the youthful beauty that was looking for training, the girl inside Sarah that was left half dressed and bleeding in a rundown motel suddenly awoke inside her, however something changed. When she saw Ryan handle the Staff Sergeant in her defense something inside her healed. The memories didn't go away and she doubted they ever will, but she felt less broken and dead inside and like the girl before, she felt a deep attachment to the young officer who needed her just as much.

After a moment Ryan lifted his head away from her neck "thanks …" he cleared his throat of emotion and wiped away a stray tear.

"There is no need for any." She shook her head moving a hand through his sweat soaked wave of raven curls.

There was a distant sound of cracks like gunfire carried on the wind. She looked around as the sound grew. Ryan didn't flinch at the noise of the distant firefight; he merely sighed and steeled himself.

"Come on … the fight's about to start."

***

_John lay awake in his bed in silence slowly stroking the naked skin of his wife's belly while she watched him contently her head pressed back into a pillow her brown eyes watching the large hands gently strafe the silky perfection. _

_This was not a new position for them, but an old after love making pastime that both missed dearly. John lightly paved kisses on her stomach before laying his down on it as Cameron moved her hands though his spiked hair. _

"_I don't like this, Angel." John said sadly _

"_I don't either, but it's Ryan's only chance." Cameron said with tears flowing down her cheeks as she massaged his scalp. _

_***_

Sarah followed Ryan through the dense Jungle. She continued to get flashbacks of her time in Central America but the sounds of distant battle seemed to shake her back to self awareness.

She was however puzzled as to why Ryan had lead her out of the jungle and back to the rocky clearing between the commanding heights above and the woods.

Both climbed over a large dirt wall that was several yards away from the tree line. In the semi open area there where several larger sandbagged bunkers with barb wire surrounding some of the defensive structures. Soldiers from different units lounged or stood off to the side, Sarah guessed that this was some sort of assembly area.

Ryan lead her to a bunker that was off to the side were Alice was waiting. The girl smiled when she saw Sarah.

"Oh, thank god you're okay!" Alice sighed with relief coming up to Sarah and giving her a hug. Sarah tensed in the embrace awkwardly causing the blond to brake off immediately. "Sorry … I'm a hugger." She shrugged innocently and turned to Ryan who was adjusting his fatigue button down sleeves he had just put on and was rolling the sleeves up.

"Just hold on … Hold on, listen Hun … you need to calm down give me the coordinates so I can directed the artillery fire …" the gorgeous chestnut haired woman from earlier walked out of the bunker with a radio phone in one hand connected to a backpack of a teen male following the older woman and a map in her other.

"_**There is too many of them … they got us surrounded!" **_A voice came over the radio belonging to a frantic man with an Irish brogue with the sound of intense plasma fire.

"Harp three, Zero … you need to speak clearly and give me your coordinates …" Ava spoke again with a strict commanding tone."

"…"

"If you can't talk … click the radio three times …" the major said turning her attention to the cliffs overshadowing the Jungle. Sarah also turned her attention to the flashes of violet and blue lights glowing on the distant sloppy hills.

There was a sound of indistinct voices before the radio cut out completely and static echoed through the receiver. The maternal beauty handed back the phone to the teen and sighed looking at her Platoon Officers.

"82nd just got wiped out …" there was a stiff almost nervous edge that spread through the small group. The major ran a slender hand through her main of hair and quickly glanced at her map. "Come on …" she motioned Alice and Ryan to get closer.

Both young adults did so with Sarah unconsciously obeying the order as well.

"Alright … Rye you're taking the five pods in the western area of Sector E, and Alice … baby I want you to take the other seven to the east. Ryan you have command of the key crossing area so I want an _Elephant _crew with a good firing sight of the area." Ava pointed a finger to several areas on the map that had colored in dots on the blown up part of the map.

"With all do respect … my Chalk has seen three days worth of action I was hoping to be put in reserve for this engagement." Ryan spoke with seriousness.

"I understand Lieutenant, but Jake's platoon is better suited to reinforce your positions." The major spoke with a guilty voice. Ryan nodded stiffly with out a word. "The defensive positions are going to be aided by the magnetic mines on the river bed and Claymores on the eastern bank's tree line.' The major pointed to positions on the map.

"Okay now … the pods are Mobile Position One, if I give you orders to fall back I want you to rally the squads here …" the older woman pointed to the earthworks that Ryan and Sarah had walked over earlier. "This is Mobile Position Two. Now in a worst case scenario Mobile Position Three is the sandbagged wall in front of the church." She pointed the youths to the mission church on top of the heights were they could clearly see soldiers systematically dumping the bags in rows.

"Any questions …?" the major asked the two officers in front of her with a look in her eyes like she was addressing two of her own children.

"Mama … I mean ma'am …" Alice caught her casual slip when talking to the maternal figure in front of her. "Judging between the spacing of our foxholes you could run entire Regiment between them with out us knowing the better." Alice addressed the woman who raised her cautiously.

"Alice has a point, sir." Ryan pointed out touching shoulders with pretty blond.

"Your pods have been spaced to cover each mini crossing." The woman answered the officers with patience. Both youths exchanged doubtful looks, but said nothing. "Dismissed …" Ava saluted the two officers.

"Ava … you wouldn't mind taking one more on your staff …?" Ryan asked gently after returning the majors salute. The slender female turned with a coy smile to Sarah.

"No … not at all." She smiled warmly at her before turning to talk to Alice.

Sarah frowned then turned to Ryan angrily when it hit her that she had just been signed on to tailcoat duty.

Ryan sighed when knew a reaming was coming.

"Look, before you start cussing me out, I need experienced soldiers on the wire out there." Ryan said taking the reins.

"What and I'm not experienced enough?" Sarah growled frustrated at the young man.

"How many machines have you fought in your entire life discounting the aid of mom?" Ryan asked with another sigh. Sarah gritted her teeth when she knew what he was getting at.

"It's the quality not quantity that counts." She felt so childish in coming up with that saying as her defense.

Ryan gave her a hard stare and put a hand on her cheek. "Look, I can't do my job and protect you …"

"I don't need protecting!" Sarah barred her teeth at him and swiped his hand away.

"Listen to me!" he gripped her by the waist. "This isn't your fight and this isn't your war … you're not needed here. You're needed in 2009, Dad and Mom, they need you. You're no good to anyone dead!" both locked eyes.

"I can't … there isn't anything for me back in 2009. Cameron would shoot me on the spot if I greeted them like this. This is my war now whither you like it or not." Sarah spoke with sadness as she came to realize there was no getting around the fact that she was stuck in the future with no escape.

Ryan shook his head at her. "Mom wouldn't do that … and Dad would accept you no matter what you look like, though I doubt anyone would believe that you're his mother." Ryan smiled slightly. Sarah doubted his claims, but he had an overall point, she had no pretense with weapons or tactics of the resistance and she knew that she would do more harm then good in the trenches.

Sarah dipped her head in defeat and tensed in frustration at the whole situation. She looked at him and finally addressed the real reason she wanted in on the fight.

"If I'm not there … then who's going to watch your back?" Sarah asked with concern. Ryan gave a Cameron-esque ghost of a smile.

"I've been out on the line by myself before …" He wrapped his arms around Sarah's waist and pulled her into one final hug. Sarah sighed tenderly gripping the ragged material of his green fatigue shirt.

"_I'll be fine"_ he whispered into her ear. Sarah didn't say anything just pressed her cheek against his.

After a moment she kissed his cheek and with one more maternal hand through matching hair she let him go. Turning she noticed that Ava was saying something to Alice out of ear shot while playing with her adopted daughters hair like any mother of a typical college aged girl.

Ryan turned to the older commander and stuck his hand out to her. Ava looked offended at the formal gesture, but acknowledged the professional attitude he was trying to present. She clasped the hand firmly and shook it before he turned and walked away.

As he passed Sarah he placed a hand on her waist and as he walked he dragged it across her stomach in a small gesture of comfort and reassurance. She smirked sadly as she touched her belly and watched him walk away without a look back.

Alice received a kiss and a swat on her butt from Ava before leaving.

"See ya tomorrow Sarah." The gorgeous blond smiled.

"Good luck" Sarah nodded to the girl as she passed.

She watched the girl jog up behind the stoic Connor and with a wild yelp she jumped on his back playfully. Sarah smiled as she watched them.

"Ryan's his father's son … he'll get out of this in one piece." Ava tossed a friendly arm around Sarah.

As the two officers disappeared into the Jungle Sarah didn't know if that was true.

***

_John and Cameron walked hand in hand as they made there way toward there son's hospital bed. _

_The couple was silent and unflinching from the stares of soldiers who looked like they were looking at the ghost of the sainted angel Cameron Connor who had long been lost as far as they were concerned._

_When they reached the outside of Ryan's hospital room both paused and exchanged looks of paternal fear at the sight they would exposed too. John tightened his grip on his loves hand to which she leaned into him no longer able to place her head on his should like she use to when they were younger due to his height. _

_John gave a steeled breath and looked into the room's small window. _

"_Cameron!!" John said in warning breaking his wife's grip and tossed the door open to there child's room and stormed inside with a chromed 45. Caliber pistol with a black rubber grip in hand._

_Inside the room Ryan lay in a bed with white sheets that offset with his black T-shirt. His forehead and top of his head were banged with raven curls poking out from under the bandaging. His eye was still covered with gauss and his stump was still wrapped up. _

_But what caught John's attention was the beautiful green eyed woman in the bed with him. _

_Her long flowing raven curls were pined back as she lay back comfortably under the covers. She wore a silken crimson evening gown with exposed cleavage. Ryan had been propped on top of her with the milky skinned intruder's chest as a substitute pillow. The stunningly elegant woman was gently whispering into the unconscious soldier's ear in Spanish as she held a book in front of them every so often kissing the Ryan's bruised jaw._

_John pointed his gun at the woman with a seething glare of death. "Get the hell away from my son!" he growled dangerously. _

_The woman smiled and put a finger to her glossy lips and shushed him as she closed the book. _

"_John …he's sleeping." The woman whispered then ran a tender hand over the teen's face which caused him to shudder in his coma. _

"_John Connor is that anyway to treat your mother?" Sarah asked, and then tilted her head in playful shock with her mouth open. John's insides squirmed when he saw the perfect mimic of his mother's playfulness. _

"_How stupid do you think I am" John pulled the hammer back with an intimidating click. Sarah smiled at the comment. _

"_That remains to be seen." She replied emotionlessly._

"_Katherine!" Cameron walked stoically into the room locking eyes with Sarah Connor's imposter. The beautiful woman tilted her head at the angelic girl in front of her. _

"_Cameron …" she nodded with a sly smile. _

"_Please remove yourself from John's and my son." Cameron asked politely which made John burn inside. _

"_Since you've asked so nicely." Weaver gently removed herself from under the soldier and the covers. As the woman stood she pulled the blankets up on the injured Private and gave him a deep kiss. John's grip tightened on the pistol watching the liquid metal machine ruin his mother's memory with its perverse action._

_After a minute she broke the kiss with a light smack and wiped the young army scout's lips and looked John in the eye with satisfaction. _

"_So Cameron … I let you go to save your baby and you come running back to me, Get tired of John already?" the woman asked in a cold machine like manner. "Or did he find out that you were the one that had me kidnap Kate and now he wants nothing to do with you?" Weaver flicked back and forth between the two hoping that she exposed Cameron's dirty little secret. If John didn't know he didn't care because he lowered his gun and took a step closer to his wife. _

"_We want to make a deal …" Cameron said after a tense moment. Weaver tilted her head at the married couple. _

"_Let's hear it?" the liquid terminator pushed. _

"_We want you to help Ryan …" John gritted in a demanding voice. Weaver turned cold as she looked back at the soldier. _

"_Why would I do that? He killed some people that were important to me including my creator Savannah Weaver and not to mention … why should I show your son mercy when you should none to mine?" The machine had a very human hatred to her tone of voice. _

"_I will guarantee a Time Displacement trip back to the start of the century in exchange." John spoke with a heavily restraint voice. _

_John's statement caught the green eyed woman's interest. She looked coy as she walked to the soldier's bed and looked at the comatose patient. _

"_And what makes you think that I could help him?" Weaver asked looking up at the Connor's_

"_I know your talent with cybernetics and I estimate that with prosthetics Ryan's chances of recovery are raised 82%." Cameron stepped into the conversation._

"_So you did pay attention to my research." Weaver looked at Cameron with a smile. The brown eyed girl looked away at the mention of there years together._

_There was a pause as the raven haired beauty processed the statements. _

"_It's a good trade." John stated looking at his loved one's imposter. _

"_It is … but there is a stipulation." She turned her cold stare to Cameron._

"_Stipulation?" Cameron repeated turning head slightly. _

"_For Cybernetics to work you need two things, a special lab and genetically tailored prosthetics." Weaver listed off with thoughtful statements. "You have neither." She said coldly. _

_There was a deep seeded despair between the John and Cameron as they knew what had to be done. _

"_Yes we do …" Cameron spoke up. "Ryan shares the same O negative blood type as Alison Young and furthers more because he shares half of her genes he is a match for my eye, and with some extensions and bulk shielding my arm should be the adequate size to fit his." Cameron seemed confident in her calculations. _

"_That is very true, but the lab?" Weaver asked. Cameron gripped John's hand and looked down at the floor. _

"_Skynet has lent us one of its facilities …" John was quiet after his statement griping Cameron's hand tightly. Weaver tilted her head and smiled a very Sarah smile. _

"_What did it want in return …?" the woman asked as if she gotten a hold of some juicy gossip. Cameron looked at the other machine with pained eyes but said nothing. "It wanted its baby girl back, didn't it?" the machine smiled at the pained soul mates._

"_Just my consciousness, John can keep my blank chip for the other TOK 715's body." Cameron answered quietly. _

_The elegantly dressed woman turned to John with a smug look. "My complements John Connor, you have set this up nicely." She gave a small applause._

"_Will you do it?!" John snapped at the machine. _

"_And pass up the chance to see the two of you suffer again … I wouldn't miss it for the entire world." Weaver was said coldly. _

"_And Ryan …?" Cameron asked. Weaver walked and took the teens cheek in a maternal fashion. _

"_It's not a problem." She winked at both of them._

"_Then it's a deal?" John spoke in a hard voice. _

"_It's a deal …" Weaver smiled. She turned back and whispered into the soldier's ear. _

"_If you only knew how much your mommy loved you." The raven haired beauty smiled evilly. _

**Well that about does it for the major reveals. **

**You now know how Ryan got his implants, why Cameron is part of Skynet's forces, and how Weaver played a part in all of it.**

**There are more flashbacks but they're more for character building. **


	19. Last Stand

**This chapter is going to be rated M for graphic violence and war scenes. **

**I appreciate the upsurge of reviews but I would like to inform some of you guys that all in italics are flashbacks … so what happened with Jameron and Weaver!Sarah happened five years prior to the events of Purpose … So**

**Last Stand**

Night fell swiftly in the twelve mile patch of muggy humid jungle in an area that was once a territory of the country of Mexico.

Nervousness gripped the psyche of the soldiers at the assembly headquarters as staffers walked by hurriedly carrying reports or messages back and forth between companies in efforts of coordination between commands. Amongst the glorified secretaries and pencil pushers Sarah Connor felt out of her element. A warrior at heart, she felt like she should be on the wire with Ryan, not on the sidelines watching.

"Well … I guess I should welcome you to the staff?" Major Hayworth sighed with a warm smile that made Sarah feel a little more tolerable. The slender woman tossed an arm around Sarah's shoulder and led her toward the sandbagged bunker.

"So … how did you and Ryan meet?" Ava asked as if they were two women gossiping at a salon. Sarah wasn't sure how to respond exactly to the question, so she decided to tell the truth.

"He saved me from a …" she stopped and tried to think of the name of the hulking machine whose head her grandchild vaporized. "T-600" she finally found it.

"Lucky girl … there isn't many who would put their neck out to save someone from one of those monsters." The older woman grinned. "But then I guess it helps to look as pretty as you do."

Sarah felt like she was being condescended too, but at the same time she knew that with her now youthful appearance the likely hood that anyone was going to take her serious was little to none. Suddenly she remembered why she hated being the pretty girl in a camp of soldiers.

The Major directed her into the entrance of the company's new headquarters.

Ducking under the roof Sarah found that they were inside a massive fox hole that was the size of a walk in closet, toward one of the sandbagged walls stood a small school desk with a wispy looking man sitting at it with a laptop computer and a discarded radio backpack.

"Sully …" Ava called to the man. He jumped quickly and nearly knocked over the computer. The man shot a nervous smile as he placed the equipment back were it should be. Sarah could see why the nervous wormy looking soldier was left behind.

"Sully this is Sarah, she is going to be joining you and the Commander tonight." Ava presented the young woman as if she was a new student in a high school. With that she gave Sarah an encouraging pat and left outside, leaving her alone with the under toned man who looked like a classical nerd.

There was a slight pause as the Soldier shifted shyly. "Ummm … my … my name is Sully." He stuttered out. Sarah felt the man's shyness in front of her was only adding to the high school atmosphere.

"I know …" she smiled politely and nodded.

"Right … no, of course you know that … the Major told you." He stuttered again. This wasn't a new situation that Sarah was placed in, as a captain of the high school cheer squad and a walk on at her university in college, she had often dealt with young men that stumbled over themselves trying to talk to her. Of course this situation was different because the stuttering person in front of her was not a teen and neither of them was in an educational environment.

After an awkward moment he tried again.

"I guess I should show you how things work …?" he said cautiously. Sarah gave a humoring smile and nodded her head in agreement. "Alright …" he motioned her toward the laptop.

On the screen was an over head look of digital topography of the woods with Blue dots shaped like people were moving about.

"This is Sector E … this is where our responsibility is." He explained a little more comfortably now that they were in his realm of expertise.

Sarah watched the blue human like smudges move about with awe at the leap of technology.

"_John would flip out if he saw this …" _

Sarah smirked as she imagined her boy's face as if he was standing next to her.

"I know it's pretty cool, huh …" Sully said with cockiness like she was a teen girl admiring his new sports car. Sarah gave the guy a strange yet humored look at the corniness of his come on. The man's confidence disappeared as he caught her look. "Anyway …" he trailed off. "Everybody to your left is part of 1st Platoon under Lieutenant Connor … I mean Lieutenant Phillips … Phillips." He smacked his head a bit at the slip of the tongue. "And everyone else is the new 3rd Platoon under the now promoted 1st Lieutenant Taylor …" he pointed to some more blurs that were grouped into smaller units of three and spread thinly over the digital map.

Sarah noticed like Alice mentioned that the soldiers of Company A were spread out way to far from one another. This did nothing for her nerves as she thought of Ryan who if landed into trouble would have no one to help him.

"_Damn it, I should be out there with him!" _

Sarah frowned in frustration at the situation her loved one was in. Sully looked at her with a cautious flick.

"Okay … well, I guess I should show you what you're going to do?" He nudged his head toward the radio backpack. Sarah gave one more look at the blue blurs on the left before following the nerdy tech to where he was leading her. "You are going to be relaying the messages from the Officers to the Major …" He patted the radio.

"Oh please Sully, don't refer to those little silver spooned brats as Officers." A familiar Australian accent moaned in annoyance. Sarah turned her head to an attractive petite Asian woman whose arm was in sling.

"I don't know Jess, I heard Connor is pretty good in a fight …" Sully said to the woman with reassurance.

"Yeah, good at getting us killed, like his old man …" Jesse replied.

Sarah felt the fire of white hot rage burn a hole through her self control at the woman's comment about her children.

"What the fuck would you know about it?!" Sarah said hotly. Jesse took a visible step back at the blunt force of the younger woman's statement. Her face turned from shocked to smug.

"Oh it's you …" she snorted after a moment like Sarah was a yappy purse dog. Sarah was a second from laying the bitch flat.

"_**Company CP, this is Ghost Rider One Zero, come in over …" **_

Sarah heard Ryan call over the radio.

"Speak of the devil" Jesse said with a smug smirk. Sarah balled her fist ready to hit the woman in the face.

"_**Company CP, this is Ghost Rider … pick up the damn radio new guy!" **_Ryan ordered with an irritated huff.

"That's you, Sarah" Sully winced apologetically. Sarah gave the Asian woman one last warning murderous glare before she picked up the phone and pressed the handle.

"This is Company CP … we're receiving you Ghost Rider." She looking to the wispy man who in turn gave her a thumbs up to tell she did a good job.

There was a pause on the other line.

"_**Oh it's you … sorry about that Sar … Angel." **_Ryan caught himself before he said her name over the line and instead covered quickly.

"It's alright … babe." Sarah played along catching a pathetic look Jesse gave the young adult, which earned her a glare.

"_**So they got you answering phones do they … that's uh … haunting" **_Sarah gave an unamused bite to her lip at the snort on the other end.

"I guess you could say that …?" Sarah sighed. Sully motioned for her to wrap it up. "Right … what did you need?" She nodded.

"_**Just reporting that chalk one is in place …" **_Ryan said with ease. Sarah looked to the man again as to what to do; he motioned to Jesse who nodded at Sarah.

"Acknowledged …" she responded.

"_**Ghost Rider One Zero out …" **_Ryan blipped out and there was a small amount of static on the line. Sarah sighed worriedly and hung up the phone and looked at the backpack in thought.

"Hey, that was good, but … you umm need to get to the point a lot faster …" Sully smiled and gave the girl in front of him an awkward pat on the shoulder as if he wasn't sure he should touch her.

Sarah nodded not liking the job already.

"Also you need to keep the bedroom names off the com …" Jesse added in a chastising manner. Sarah was about to responded with some choice words when another voice came over the radio.

"_**Company CP, This is Ghost Rider three Zero, Come in over." **_Alice's sweet southern accent came over the receiver, the kindliness made Jesse look to the roof in disbelief.

"This is Company CP …" Sarah gave the short answer.

"_**Hey …" **_Alice greeted friendly to which Sarah shook her head with a slight grin. _**"No … right, we're all settled down here." **_She corrected herself seriously.

Sarah turned to Jesse who shrugged back.

"Alright" Sarah answered with finality.

"_**Take care …" **_Alice cut out.

There was momentary silence amongst the individuals in the room. Sarah wrapped her arms around her and decided to walk back and look at the bird's eye view of the battlefield.

She watched the blue hues unmoving in groups of two's. Sarah caught a figure moving from one group to the next on the left of the screen.

"What's that …?" Sarah asked with a squint. The man leaned in and looked along with Jesse.

"Oh that's probably Lieutenant Phillips, checking the line …" Sully responded. Sarah focused on the hue with interest.

"I hope you kissed your bloke goodbye?" Jesse said with a sigh. Sarah turned back to the Aussie with contempt.

"And why's that?" Sarah asked. The Asian woman flipped her hair out of boredom.

"Because he has to go from pod to pod the entire fight … you know what the survival rates of Junior Officers are in defensive engagements …?" She scoffed looking at her nails. Sarah hitched her breath and turned back to the mobile dot while Sully shook his head taking his best friends bate. "Let's just say there is a reason that there are so many **kids** with officer's stripes." Jesse chuckled.

"Aren't we optimistic?" Ava said walking in with a scolding look for the slightly younger woman.

"Sorry sir …" Jesse apologized. The woman brushed past her and stood between Sully and Sarah looking at the screen with them.

"Report" She commanded indifferently.

"The 1st and 3rd are in place, but we haven't heard from the 2nd." Jesse reported professionally.

"I just got back from there …" she said off handily. "They're ready" she followed up with a worried sigh.

***

The hours pasted tensely as the small group in the bunker milled about inside. The one thing Sarah hated more then Skynet was waiting. She however couldn't imagine what it must have been like for those in the jungle.

In Central America night fell swiftly in the rain forest and without the light of a camp fire it was a like trying to find your way through a blanket of darkness. Now add that to the knowledge that a host of metal monsters were on there way to kill you and you couldn't even see your own hand in front of you. Sarah shuddered at the thought and suddenly had the need to go out to the foxholes and take her grandchild in her arms and protect him from the frightening feeling she was feeling herself.

"So after the Carter, Jesse and I got assigned to the 132nd." Sully finished with a nod. Sarah turned to him with a fake interested smile only catching the tail end of his story.

"What time is it?" Jesse stretched with a bored yawn. Sully looked to a clock on the computer.

"1:30" he stated with a sigh then lounged back in his seat. Sarah frowned at both former submariners. She couldn't understand why they felt so relaxed at this moment in time. Did they think that they were immune from the fight?

Suddenly from outside the sounds of distant cannons from the cliffs fired out and there was echoes of plasma fire.

All in the bunker perked up and looked at the computer screen to find it still clear.

"_**CP this is Ghost Rider One Zero, checking confirmation on contact from 2**__**nd**__** and 3**__**rd**__** Brigades with enemy units?"**_ Ryan's voice sounded over the radio.

"Stand by Ghost Rider …" Ava answered motioning Jesse to go outside and check. The woman responded immediately. The chestnut haired commander checked the screen once again seeing a clear picture with the exception of the blue figures. "They may be probing …" the Major said to know one in particular looking at the folded map in her hand. Sarah watched her trace her finger over the water line of the river. There was a thud and Jesse came inside quickly panting and out of breath before nodding her head.

Ava flipped a switch on the radio and pressed down on the phone. "Ghost Riders be advised the right and left flanks of the line have been engaged … so keep your eyes open." She said into the phone in a hardened tone.

Sarah looked at the map then at the screen with her mind racing with a theory with what Alice had told her while waiting out side the command bunker. "They might be demonstrating against the flanks in order to draw resources from the center." She blurted out loud.

Ava gave her a thoughtful look then looked at the map a second.

"You may have point …" she gave Sarah an impressed smile and took the phone again and switched a knob on the frequency. "Halo this is Ghost Rider requesting a blown up picture of Sector E at an 800 yard field position." Ava asked with a formal tone.

"_**Copy that …"**_ the responding voice was distorted by what sounded like helicopter blades. After a second she looked to the computer screen and watched the picture of the field zoom out twice to reveal lines upon lines of Red and gold figures standing in rank.

"Are those …?" Sarah trailed off looking at what seemed to be thousands of red and gold hues. Sully nodded with a fearful flash in his eyes that wasn't there several minutes ago.

"They're just standing there …?" Jesse puzzled tilting her head in confusion. Ava motioned Sarah to give her the phone to which she complied.

"Ghost Riders One and three zero be advised, be advised, you have enemy units in your sector!" the Major said with a small panic at the onset.

"_**I don't see them …?" **_Alice responded.

"There out there …" Ava said steeling her nerves.

"_**Acknowledged" **_Ryan said simply, which haunted Sarah with every conversation she ever had with Cameron over the phone. Ava hung the phone up and went to a small walkie talkie and turned it on to which chatter echoed.

"_**Squad leaders we got Skynet in the sector, set your weapons to 30 watt range and only fire at what you can see. Wait to blow your claymores till there's a bottle neck." **_

Sarah clenched at the sound of Ryan's voice. The maternal figure gave an excepting nod at the advice and flipped a frequency on the talkie.

"_**Pods six and seven re angle your line of fire." **_

"_**Copy that …" **_

Alice's voice was responded to by another southern accent.

Suddenly there was a mechanical squealing from the electrical equipment before a low hum cleaned out all sound.

"_**Those of you that are members of the Companies of the 132**__**nd**__** Tech-Com, Your numbers have been depleted to near decimation. There is little you can do to stop this assault, but I offer you a choice. If you surrender your weapons and swear loyalty to Skynet, all of those you care about will be spared extermination … you must realize that loyalty to John Connor will only bring more death upon you and your families … this is the only way out."**_ The beautiful female voice that sounded over the radio__was tender, warm, and sounded empathetic, as if she was a worried lover that was almost in tears.

There was a wave of silence from everyone in the bunker as if the charismatic and innocent voice had cast spell over them.

Then without warning there was a large explosion that shook the ground followed plasma fire that increased by ten fold all of the sudden.

"_**CP, Contact, Contact!!" **_Ryan's voice came loudly over the radio. _**"All pods report contact with enemy forces, over!!" **_

Sarah was shaken out of the haze and turned to the screen to find the entire digital woods overflowing with red and gold blurs rushing like streams of ants at the river where they were disappearing when a tiny bolt fired from a blue dot hit it.

"Copy that Ghost Rider!" Ava yelled over the ruckus.

"_**Grid 6 watch for the bull rush …" **_

"_**Yes, sir" **_

Alice's voice echoed from the walkie talkie. Ava turned the frequency again and bit her nails nervously.

"_**Grid 2 knock them down, when they hit the water … pod three keep the figure eights on the banks." **_

"_**Aye, Aye" **_

"_**Watch the crossfire boys …" **_

There was the sound of thudding explosions close to the assembly area.

"Sir, Lieutenant Connor just lost pod four!" Sully called out. Sarah's breath hitched as there was the sound of continues explosions hitting near by.

"_**CP, this is Ghost Rider One Zero, there is a Skynet mortar position that has my holes zeroed, over!"**_ Ryan sounded urgent.

"Hang in there, One Zero." The Major called and turned on the knob on the backpack. "Halo this Ghost Rider … there is a couple of three point shooters that have my command zeroed in Sector E, can you give me a visual."

"_**Yeah, we see them … fifty clicks from the blue line, there's about eleven of them, they seem to have a bead on your boys." **_The harsh male voice called over the roar of helicopter blades.

"_Fucking villagers …" _the Major growled in a rare shot of anger with a low mutter. "Copy that." She said and turned a switch. "This is Ghost Rider … Fire Mission, Fire Mission on Sector E about fifty clicks from the blue line, Over!" she called into the phone.

"_**We'll bring the heat, Ghost Rider!" **_a feminine voice called from the other line.

After a second there were the same mechanical booms that Sarah heard during the ambush. The ground shook violently with the shock of the artillery rounds. Sarah steadied her self on a desk.

"_**Target neutralized, over …" **_the voice of the mysterious helicopter pilot sounded over the radio.

"Acknowledged …" Ava answered with a relieved sigh

***

.

Sarah watched the battle on screen for what seemed like only minutes but what was in reality three hours as column after column of machines and Grays continue to enter the river only to disappear off the screen in rapid succession.

There was a tiny sliver of hope in the back of her head when she felt that maybe the fight was winnable as she watched attempt after attempt of crossing the river turned back.

Her hopes were dashed as she watched small flashes of trails cross over from the east bank and obliterate blue dots on the right of the screen.

"Sir, there are large gaps forming in 3rd platoons defensive perimeter!" Ava turned from the Radio and rushed to the screen and watched as red blurs began to cross the river and reach the other back.

"There gaining a foothold…!" the Commander gasped and grabbed the phone. "Ghost Rider Two Zero, come in, over." She commanded.

"_**This is Two Zero …" **_the angry Lieutenant from the other night responded.

"Jake, Alice is in trouble I need you to move in and stop the bleeding in grids 5, 6, and 7, over!" Ava ordered.

"_**Aye sir …" **_the man responded.

The slender Beauty turned to the computer and pressed the phone to her chin and watched as there started to become a heavy stream of red dots making it to the other bank and split the two Platoons in half. The red dots began to disappear slightly when there wedge was hit from a cross fire of several blue dots from 1st platoon and an emerging 2nd as the two began to contain the breach.

The containment was short lasted as heavier columns of the enemy soldiers began crossing with the dwindling numbers of alpha company unable to keep up.

Soon there was dots of different colors jumbled on the western bank some even meeting each before one would disappear, a tale tell sign of hand to hand combat.

"Hold them … hold them …" Ava was chanting nervously as she watched the struggle on the screen.

"_**CP … they're rocketing our pods and there are Grays all over the perimeter!"**_ Alice called.

"_**CP the defenses are collapsing … permission to …" **_Jakes voice was cut out as an explosion sounded from the other line.

"Ghost Rider Two Zero … come in over … Jake!" the gentle maternal figure called into the radio but got nothing but static.

Sarah looked to the computer screen where the right side of the line was crumbling but the center and the left seemed to be holding the machine back by the skin of the teeth.

After nearly four hours of hard fighting, Company A was starting to be pushed back by the sheer volume of numbers.

The computer screen flickered a moment causing Sarah to frown but she pushed it aside as not important and continued to feel a panic in her stomach as she hadn't heard from Ryan yet.

"_Oh god, what if he's hurt or … Dammit I should be in there!" _

Then with another squealing the screen blanked out.

"What the hell!" Ava yelled looking to Sully who turned and began to type quickly on the keyboard, but nothing came up, there was a pause and then with trumpeted music an animation of a rocket ship flew past the screen and transformed into a familiar logo that made Sarah cringe.

"_**Cyberdyne … the company of the future!" **_a cheese movie guy voice announced and froze the screen with the logo front and center.

"No, no, no, NO!" Ava slammed the computer with panic. She lifted the radio to her hear and pressed down on the switch but there was a pleasant female voice already talking.

"_**At Cyberdyne System incorporated we strive to explore and expanded the knowledge of technology for a brighter and glorious tomorrow for all of mankind."**_

"Our communications have been hacked!" Sully announced.

Sarah turned to the Major for some semblance on what to do next. However Ava looked frozen mentally watching the Cyberdyne logo as if looking for some divine answers.

"Sir!" Jesse shouted to the woman, she looked at the former, then dropping the phone and walked outside. Both Sarah and Jesse traded looks and followed.

The night was still hot but less humid in the assembly area. Both women followed the commander into the dark. Ava had her binoculars to her eyes with hawk like observation of the area in front of her.

The forest that Sarah once thought was dead was now illuminated like there was a fireworks display for the fourth of July being set off inside, every several seconds there was a flare shot over the tree lines with the sound of plasma fire accompanying it.

From afar there was a whistling like a falling bomb followed by an explosion that lifted everyone off there feet and to the ground. Sarah huffed and got up as she looked to Ava who was on her back. She quickly rushed to the slender woman and lifted her up to a sitting position. The woman looked panicked as she stared at the crackling jungle.

Ava turned to Sarah with hopelessness "Sarah … I don't know what's going on?" She spoke with a voice of a worried mother as she turned back to the battle again. With some help she stood and walked a little farther towards the jungle. "What's happening …?" she said with a whisper.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY SOLDIERS!?" Ava yelled at the woods suddenly as if the exotic vegetation would answer her. Suddenly the Major turned and desperately grabbed Sarah by her shirt. "Sarah … I need you to go in there and find your fiancé and tell him to pull back … you understand?" she said with a fever pitched tone.

Sarah didn't need to be told twice as she rushed forward toward the woods, however she stopped and took a look around realizing that she had no idea what she was walking into or where she was going. She turned back and watched Jesse rush in to the woods on the other side most likely to find Alice.

Feeling the urge to pull Ryan out of the disaster situation building inside the woods more then assessing the danger, Sarah threw caution into the wind and raced inside the twisted maze of vegetation.

***

Sarah quietly stalked through the woods staying close to the trees which wasn't a hard maneuver seeing as she had to avoid them every other step.

As Sarah moved closer and closer to the fighting the sounds of shouting and rifle fire grew louder. Sarah ducked for cover when flares were shot into the air from the far bank. The entire Jungle was illuminated by the rockets of light bathing the dense climate with twisted and eerie shadows. She memorized her surroundings from cover so that when the light died she could move again.

Several minutes later she had reached the bank of the river only to find to her fear that she had made it all the way to a secluded gap in the perimeter. She cursed under her breath as she saw shadows from the far bank running adjacent to the river. Sarah took cover behind a tree so they wouldn't see her. Cautiously she turned her head to the left and chanced a look.

Down the river bolts of plasma were being traded across the banks in a rapid pace, reflecting off the river in a spectacular yet terrifying show of violet and blue flashing. Sarah watched with a small catch in her throat as bodies of clean uniformed Gray foot soldiers were washed down stream, there faces frozen in pain and shock.

Since John was little Sarah had always maintained a toughness and exterior that she would kill someone for just breathing wrong, always keeping her gun close and murder in her eyes. But despite this fact this was the very first full out battle Sarah Connor had ever witnessed and been a part of and like any human there was a pang of fear in her steps as she slinked ever closer to the fighting that was echoing through the jungle.

After several moments of following the river bank Sarah came across a Fox hole still intact. Flicking her eyes from her squat position toward the other bank looking for snipers, the raven haired young woman sucked in some air. With an exhale she ran crouched to the sandbagged defensive structure. Not drawing any fire she slid into the mini bunker.

The Pod was tiny and not very spacious with only enough room for two maybe three people max. There was a window you could fire out of but it gave very poor peripheral sight around you.

Sarah found a lone male soldier inside the bunker. He wasn't more then fifteen and there were visible tears in his eyes as he held a plasma rifle in firing position out the window.

"Keep firing, don't freeze, keep firing, and don't freeze." The boy kept repeating in frightful sobs as he stood alone in the dark trembling. A part of Sarah's heart broke for the frightened kid.

"Hey!" Sarah pushed him slightly to get his attention. The boy looked at her and suddenly felt relieved to see an adult. "Have you seen Lieutenant Phillips?" She asked clearly.

"No … not … not since the fight got started …" he stuttered out. She observed the boy for a second and saw that the way his straight hair was brushed down almost in his eyes somehow reminded Sarah of her little boy which in turn awoke the maternal side in her.

"What are you doing here by yourself?" she asked spotting a second plasma rifle leaning against a wall to which she snatched up.

"My partner … He deserted and … left me here to defend the crossing by myself." He said with a frightened sniffle.

"Have the machines tried to cross yet?" Sarah motioned to the river. The boy shook his head hurriedly. "Well … Major Hayworth is ordering the entire unit to fall back so you need to get back to Mobile Position Two." Sarah ordered with motherly steel in her voice.

"Yes, ma'am …" he nodded his head and was about to leave when a crack of light from across the river illuminating the far bank. The boy immediately got into a firing position.

"_What is that?"_ Sarah asked in a whisper following suit.

"_Flares … it alerts us to let us know that Skynet is about to cross …"_ he whispered back.

Sure enough shadows appeared on the bank and started to move in rank and file. Sarah was impressed when she looked through the scope of the plasma rifle and saw the images in night vision.

After several seconds of sloshing there was a buzz and a thud followed by an explosion that kicked metal and water high in the air.

"_So that's what the magnetic mines where for." _

The boy began to open fire on the column of bodies in the deep part of the water. Sarah watched for a moment not sure if they were human or not. Closing her eyes she breathed and repeated the teen's mantra.

"_Keep firing, don't freeze …" _

Sarah aimed and pulled the trigger with recoil and watched her shot knock down an approaching body. She numbed her racing mind and put herself aside and continued to fire not thinking about who her targets where, just that they were on there way to kill John and she need to protect her baby.

After several minutes of careful shooting and barrowing a magazine from the kid the machines stopped trying to cross. Both shared a look and then back at the far bank … there was some shouting from across the bank that Sarah couldn't understand.

A glint caught Sarah's eye and with a squint she saw a chromed endoskeleton load something into a tube.

Sarah reacted immediately. "Get out of the hole, they're gonna blow it!" she said harshly grabbing the young man by his WEB gear strap and hauled him out of the hole and under enemy fire to behind some brush where she threw herself on top of the youth in protection. Moments later a rocket like projectile slammed into the pod sending bagged soil into the air in the explosion.

Both panted harshly trading looks then back at the fox hole. There was fast sloshing before a group of human soldiers with helmets appeared and gathered around the hole in search of bodies.

The teen pushed Sarah off him and with a several deep breaths he picked up his gun and charged out at the soldiers.

"No wait!" Sarah called but it was too late as the teen rushed up and opened fire with a yell, gunning down the group of soldiers and jumping into the now exposed hole in the ground and fired at the far bank.

"Dammit …" Sarah sighed and grabbed her rifle and followed Jumping into the hole next to the teen and opened fire at the shadows in the water.

After several moments of trading bolts she realized that this was unsustainable and that she needed to find Ryan.

"Hey, we need to go!" Sarah yelled snatching the teen by his strap. The boy turned to look at her when a flash of burning light seared her cheek painfully. She dipped a little and touched the second degree burn the bolt's graze gave her. with gritted teeth she looked up to order the teen back when she saw a blank look in his eyes and a cauterized hole in his forehead. Sarah felt him fall back into the hole.

There was shocked pause that froze her chest as for a moment in the dark she saw John leaning back lifelessly instead of the random boy she had slightly bonded with.

A battle cry snapped her out of her haze, turning she saw a human shadow charging at her from the river bank. She reacted quickly by knocking a plasma rifle away from the Gray with a swipe and flipped the man over on his back were she mounted him and knocked him out. She felt arms wrap around her chest and pull her off the unconscious enemy soldier and held her in a restraining manner. In front of her a shadow used Sarah's stomach and face as a punching bag sending wind knocking blows. She keeled a little, however when she saw the model like female gray pull out a knife to gut her with, Sarah pulled back on her restrainer and propelled her feet into the knife wielder's stomach then face. With that enemy taken care of she threw her head back into her restrainer and snatching the arm, she flipped her advisory over her shoulder. Once on the ground she delivered a kick to the face knocking out her attacker.

Suddenly a blinding pain rushed through her leg like a thousand bee stings. She let out a fragile moan and looked down to see a cauterized hole through her thigh. She fell to the ground and saw glowing red eyes of a familiar endoskeleton that murdered her soul mate in a computer factory in 1984 hold up a smoking plasma rifle and advance on her.

Like then Sarah dragged herself away from the monster that haunted her dreams as it menacingly stalked toward her with a limp.

Sarah stopped out of breath and fell to her back and looked into the red mechanical orbs with a sense of closure.

"_I hope you saved some room on a cloud for me Kyle?" _

Sarah heard the clicking of pistons of a mechanical hand as the T-800 reached for her neck. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to place herself a million miles away.

Flashes of heat passed right in front of her face followed by the sound of metal twisting and a metallic thud. She opened her eyes to see a familiar darkened figure on a knee near her body in a defensive manner as the male shadow carried a familiar sniper rifle that Derek once used and a plasma rifle sung behind him.

The figure fired deliberate shots into the dark that were accompanied by dead weight and pain full groins before he turned and collected Sarah and tossed her over his shoulder. She saw bolts of light wiz by her and the male silhouette as they raced through the woods till they were covered by total darkness.

The male figure pulled Sarah down and close to him as the two slid down a small dip in the ground. Were he rolled them behind a tree.

Sarah examined the face in the dark and for a split second she reached out and touched the distracted soldier's face tracing the familiar soft patchy stubble with a grateful tear.

"Kyle?" she said with a hitch. The soldier looked down at her and chuckled distractedly.

"_Sorry to disappoint you."_ Ryan sighed. Sarah immediately felt embarrassed and withdrew her hand quickly. The young officer ripped her pant leg wider and tried to examine her wound. She let out a groan of pain when she felt a hand touch the burned skin. Sarah watched her descendent lean down inches from her leg. There was a strange feeling that over whelmed her as she felt the air near her wound become vacuumed up.

"_Did you just sniff my thigh?"_ she asked with a weirded out look.

"_I can't see shit … I had to think of a way to make sure your wound was cauterized_." He said nonchalantly followed by the sound of a utility belt pouch being opened. Sarah understood why he did it, but still shifted uncomfortably with a frown.

"_Come here."_ Ryan grunted and pulled her toward him. With some effort he sat back against a tree then placed her in his lap so that he wouldn't be an easy target while administrating first aid. After a moment he handed her the slightly heavy sniper rifle. _"Anyone rushes by from behind us; you get them in the head."_ He commanded while unfurling a rolled first aid bandage. Sarah nodded in understanding the turned her head.

"_I'm supposed to tell you to pull back your platoon to second position … but I think the point is probably moot."_ Sarah whispered as she felt gauss being placed on the hole in her leg.

"_Yeah … when the radio got hacked I gave the order … I was just checking to make sure I got everyone out … lucky you._" Ryan chuckled as he worked on her leg while looking over her shoulder. Sarah flinched as he began bandaging her leg.

After several moments he spoke _"Well the good news is that you got a flesh wound the bad news … there is going to be a hole on your leg the size of a coin."_ He grunted tying the knot.

"_There are worst things to be troubled with."_ Sarah winced. Ryan sighed and patted her waist before steadying her as she stood.

"_Can you walk?"_ he asked hugging her close and leaning back into the tree as the sound of footsteps flew by and out of sight.

"_I think I can run if the situation calls for It."_ she nodded.

"_It just might …"_ Ryan said distractedly picking up his plasma rifle and trading Sarah. _"Fire only on Metal … I got Grays."_ He instructed her as she marked the weapon. After a moment the two moved quickly through the twisted Jungle.

"_How do you know where you're going?" _Sarahhissed as she followed closely. Ryan turned to look at her and whirred his eye with a soft blue hue. _"Oh …" _was all she replied as he turned back and led the way.

After several tense minutes the two reached the edge of the jungle. Ryan placed a hand on Sarah's stomach in a halting motion and motioned her to take a knee. She complied with a nod as she spotted the earthworks.

"Red leader come in …" Ryan called touching a com link one piece in his ear. Sarah couldn't hear a response but she saw Ryan nod absently. "Be advised, me and Lieutenant Baum are coming out of the brier patch … hold your fire." He spoke with a commanding tone. After a pause he gave one last nod and turned toward Sarah. "You go first and I'll cover you …"

Ryan turned and around and put the sniper rifle in a firing position out into the jungle. After a several beats he tapped Sarah's shoulder to which she took off in a run for the earthworks.

Blood roared in her ears as she dead sprinted from the edge of the undergrowth and brush to the open no mans land. With some effort she ran up the hill and jumped over into waiting arms of Alice who caught her. Sarah nodded in thanks breathing heavily.

"No problem …" Alice sighed and lay back on the soft dirt.

"Son of a bitch!" Ryan cursed as plasma bolts impacted the ground behind him. He rolled over the wall and into Sarah's arms just in time as the last bolt of light grazed the surface of the earthwork.

Ryan breathed harshly sitting up and traded a look with Sarah. The mother in her took over and with out thinking Sarah gripped the soldier's chin and turned his face to look at a small knife gash on his cheekbone. Seeing that it was none lethal she sighed still shaken up from her first exposer to the future war. Breathing heavily she slapped her grandsons thigh.

She became lost in his brown eyes a moment feeling a ton lifted off her heart to find him alive after their brush with death.

After a quiet moment Ryan gave a small scoff like chuckle to which Sarah smiled and shook her head before pulling him into her in a heartfelt relieved embrace.

***

Sarah was given a dose of pain killers to numb the pain in her leg while she waited with the rest of what was left of the entire 132nd for Skynet's next push.

It had came to her knowledge that Ryan and Alice were the only officers present in the entire regiment as only a part of Company C fell back with none of their officers present. Sarah felt a pang of regret when she thought about George, lefty, and Eric who she had played poker with for two days prior.

"Sarah have you seen Momma … I mean Major Hayworth?" Alice asked worriedly.

"Not since she sent me to find Ryan." Sarah answered honestly. Alice gave a sad flash but nodded and with a shaky breath, she crouched down and returned to reorganizing Company C.

"CP this is Ghost Rider come in over …?" Ryan called over a radio backpack taken from a dead soldier.

"_**We read you Ghost Rider …" **_an unfamiliar voice answered.

"My whole damn command has been wiped out and I'm holding together less then seventy in Mobile Position Two. I'm requesting a Firestorm on Mobile Position One which has been overrun, come back over." Ryan said looking at a map which once belonged to Major Hayworth. Sarah frowned and turned to see that the bunker that she had spent several hours in was now nothing more then rubble.

Ryan caught her look. "Sapper machines got through the perimeter and detonated there power sources in the assembly area." He explained bitterly. Sarah turned back to the now demolished area.

"Suicide bombers?" she asked aloud in puzzlement.

"Yeah … something like that." Ryan nodded. There was a numb feeling in her chest when she once again thought about Sully, who was looking to impress her so desperately.

"_Is this the way it always is here, one moment you're talking to someone … the next they're gone?" _

Sarah felt even worst when she thought of Ava, one of the kindest people she had ever met and by far one of the prettiest. Sarah hurt when she thought of Alice losing her mother.

"_**Ghost Rider … your request has been granted, air raid and borage ETA three minutes." **_

"Copy that …" he nodded and touched his ear piece. "Squad leaders … Send word down the line that we have a firestorm coming and to keep their heads down." Ryan was about to address Sarah when plasma fire from the jungle raked the defensive line, knocking several fighters down.

"Here they come!" Ryan shouted and grabbed a plasma rifle and opened fire into the blackness of the forest. The line of soldiers returned fire trading bolts once again with unseen enemies that where using the jungle for cover.

Sarah once again numbed her mind as she returned fire aiming carefully for any sort of hint of visible movement.

The sound of wailing mortar shells flew above the 132nd's head and landed in the jungle kicking dirt high in the air.

Soon the shined endoskeletons moved forward into the line of vision. It was like Sarah's worst nightmare as hundreds of glowing eyed metal marched in step toward her.

The situation seemed impossible as the soldiers put down the shined terminators into piles but there was just no stopping them as there numbers became too great to hold back.

Sounds of mechanical booms echoed overhead as Resistance artillery landed all over the area in front of them.

"_**Ghost Rider … this is Cowgirl we need you to call the shot, over!" **_a muffled female voice called over the radio.

Ryan ducked down for cover and put the phone to his hear. "Cowgirl this Ghost Rider, I need a weight loss on the entire tree line of Sector E, over!" Ryan yelled as Sarah reached over him and pulled a magazine from his belt and reloaded.

"_**Glad to be of service!" **_

Sarah was racking up metal kills when the sound of jet engines grew closer till they buzzed in front of the defense line. Sarah was immediately pulled down by Ryan and placed in a shielding embrace as a large fireball erupted shaking the ground tremendously. After a second of recovery both Connors looked up to see that the line of shined metal was decimated and junked.

The smug feeling Sarah was feeling was short lived when a large host of yells belonging to clean uniformed enemy soldiers came charging through the hazed flames and toward the entrenched Tech-Com soldiers. The firing picked up as the 132nd cut into the wave of perfect flesh, dropping ranks after ranks of them, however the numbers of them were just to great to demolish and several plattons reached the wall. Sarah was suddenly thrown into another first in her life, the vicious occurrence of hand to hand combat.

All around her humans were animalistic fighting each other with what ever they could find, from combat knifes and bare fists, to toss aside shovels and rifle butts. In all Sarah's life she had never seen anything so horrible or brutal as what was going on around her. From afar she watched Ryan duck a knife wielding Gray's swipe and quickly swat him in the head with a one handed shovel knocking teeth and blood to the ground. Sarah jammed a the new magazine into her Plasma Rifle and when a Gray soldier climbed on top of the dirt mount she pulled the trigger knocking him off.

Next to her a female gray soldier punched Ryan to the ground, Sarah turned to shoot her only to have the woman grab the rifle and try to snatch it away from Sarah. The two pulled on it in a life or death tug of war. Then from behind the Gray an arm wrapped around her waist and a glint of metal flicked across the woman's throat. Sarah's face was sprayed with blood as the soldier fell to the ground chocking. Ryan appeared behind her with a bloody knife. Before Sarah could say anything Ryan launched the knife over her shoulder hitting another soldier in between the eyes.

"Rye!" a blood soaked Alice appeared next to the couple with a shotgun in hand. "Rye we can't hold them anymore!" she called over the racket. Just then motor shells began to explode around the line blowing away Gray and Resistance soldiers alike.

"Alice, get them out of here! Fall back!" Ryan yelled to the blue eyed blond. She nodded and moved down the line. "Cover me!" He called over another explosion to Sarah.

"Right!" Sarah responded as Ryan picked up the phone and turned a knob on the radio.

"Fire Mission, Fire Mission! Scatter Shot on Mobile Position Two, Sector E; Hit it with all you've got!" Ryan yelled over a mortar shell explosion.

"_**Be advised, that you're ordering us to Zero on your position over."**_

"It won't be our position for long, goddammit!"

"_**It's your call Ghost Rider!" **_

"Do it!"

"_**Roger that!" **_

Ryan threw down the phone and snatched Sarah by the hand, pulling her with him as they along with the surviving members of the 132nd raced away from the fighting and up the rocky hill as splintered plasma bolts fell on the earthworks, shelling the Gray's firing line as a rear guard for the fleeing Resistance members.

***

The climb up the boulder strewn hill to the mission church was difficult for many as the slopes made it almost impossible for the Resistance members to go up the hill straight up. Also there was the added fact that the Skynet mortar teams now were using the Tech-Com equipment against there owners, raking the hill with mini bombs and rockets.

Sarah's leg was burning in almost intolerable pain as Ryan pushed her up the hill from behind.

After several seconds of gasping pain, Sarah and Ryan reached the top of the hill.

Sarah collapsed on the ground unable to move her leg any further. Ryan didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms and carried her past the large the artillery pieces that were now abandoned. With some huffing Ryan stepped on and over the sandbags in front of the Church and sat with his back to the wall, were he was joined by Alice and only a handful of soldiers.

"What now?" Alice asked as Ryan stared at Sarah who was looking like she was going to pass out.

Ryan stroked Sarah's hair in thought.

"Rye what do we do!?" Alice asked again.

Ryan closed his eyes and breathed for a second before his mocha orbs went hard and turned to the blond with determination.

"Get everyone out and I'll cover you." Ryan said steely.

"What … no … NO!" Alice shook her head. Ryan grabbed the beautiful blond by the shirt.

"I gave you an order, now get!" Ryan grabbed Alice's belt and undid it, taking her ammo. She had Tears in her eyes, but nodded and motioned to the others to move ahead, some looked plagued with indecision while others didn't needed to be told twice, taking off.

Alice went to grab Sarah when she was pushed away by the raven hair young woman. "No … I'm not leaving!" she shook her head.

"Quit being a pain in the ass!" Ryan yelled at her.

"You try to drag me away and I'll knock you out." She said dangerously to Alice. She looked at Ryan who gave an exasperated sigh and motioned Alice to go.

Ryan walked with her several steps and was about to give her some advise when she pulled the young officer into a long drawn out kiss, crushing her lips into his for the first time.

After a moment the two broke the kiss. Ryan smiled and placed a smaller kiss on her neck before giving her a shove to let her know she needed to go.

With one last look she disappeared into the dark.

Ryan gave a sigh and ducked under a sandbagged wall next to Sarah.

"After several days of observation I've come to the conclusion that hanging out with you is just plain bad luck …" Ryan said to Sarah as he loaded a clip into a rifle. Sarah smiled weakly.

Ryan sprang to his knees and opened fire on machines that reached the top of the hill. He ducked under again when he ran low on ammo to which Sarah handed him a remagazined Plasma Rifle.

The system kept the machines at bay for only minutes before there was just too many to cover.

"We need to bottle neck them!" Ryan called pointing to the Church. Sarah nodded in agreement.

In an unspoken plan Sarah got to her feet and hobbled to the large doubledoors and pulled one open, while Ryan covered her backing away laying down suppressing fire. Once he reached inside, both closed the door.

***

The inside of the large church was illuminated by the large Christmas Tree that reflected off the stain glass windows giving the house of worship a colorful appearance that was quite a breathing taking sight to behold.

Ryan grabbed a pew and dragged it in front of the large double doors, bracing them.

"How much ammo do we have left?" Sarah asked checking the rifle in her hand.

Ryan walked up to her and without hesitation and wrapped her in a hug from behind. Sarah leaned her head back and closed her eyes savoring their last embrace, when she felt a pinch to her neck.

She looked up to see Ryan extract a small syringe.

"What … what was that …" Sarah said drowsily. "You son of a …" Sarah collapsed in Ryan's arms.

He quickly swept her up in his arms and carried her to the altar. Laying her on the ground behind the large pulpit, he ripped the tattered and aged drape on a table and knelt next to Sarah's unconscious body.

"I'm sorry I got you into this … I hope you know that I still love you …" Ryan said with one single tear. A force of great power slammed against the door taking his attention a second. With a nervous breath he gave the sleeping beauty one last look.

"I'll see you around Gram …" Ryan bent down and kissed her jaw gently and after a stroke of her cheek he covered her with the drape.

Snatching the rifle Ryan rushed to meet the onslaught.

***

_It was snowing outside of the small bed and breakfast in a rural New England town._

_In a queen sized bed a young mother in her early twenties sat propped up under the sheets and watched a Christmas themed romantic movie with her five year old little boy sitting in her lap with a pensive look on his chubby face. _

_Both we're in the middle of a "Sleepover" which to little John Connor who was never allowed to go over to a friends house meant staying in bed all night with his Mommy and watching movies and playing games. Too young to understand loneliness the boy still considered the spaghetti strap tank top clad woman he was laying on to be his best friend. _

_On the television a man knelt on one knee in the snow in front of a well lit Christmas tree and asked the pretty blond woman that had been his best friend through out the movie to marry him. _

_John turned to the raven haired beauty that was clearly absorbed in the movie as she stroked his hair. He took his sight off the woman and to the small three foot Christmas tree on the dresser drawer that they had just decorated, then to the window where the night's snow was accumulating on the sill. He turned back to the screen were the couple was now hugging._

_John reached down and pulled out a small prize he won in school during a Christmas party out of his pajama pocket from under the covers and looked at it. _

_With one last look of the screen a light bulb turned on in his little brain. As the credits rolled, John turned to Sarah who was smiling down at him. _

"_Momma?" John asked with a slight nervous look. _

"_Hmm?" she brushed some hair out his small eyes. _

"_Will you marry me?" the little boy offered the beautiful young woman a small metallic ring of brass with a plastic diamond._

_Sarah's face contorted in a pang of sadness and her eyes misted over. John was about to cry himself thinking that he had done something wrong, however Sarah smiled brightly despite tears and took the ring from the boys grasp and slipped it on her finger, then nodded with a tearful laugh. The boy gave her a small pirate grin and turned into her arms. _

"_I love you" John said into her chest. _

"_I love you too." Sarah buried her head into his hair. _

***

Plasma bolts flashed thru out the colorfully lit cathedral, smashing statues and singeing walls.

Behind a row of pews Ryan took cover, bottle necking T-800s in the front entrance of the mission. The machines were unable to effectively aim for the officer without becoming victims to his marksmanship.

To his side a metal tube was sent through a stained glass window. Ryan caught the shadows of Gray foot soldiers trying to sneak in thru the window.

Ryan dropped his plasma rifle and drew his chromed .45 and put down the intruders in rapid secession.

Turning back to the front doors, the machines were starting to clear a path to reach him. Ryan holstered his pistol and picked up his rifle and put down the Terminators.

After another wave of machines Ryan had finally ran out of power clips for the plasma rifle. Ryan looked to the floor for any clips he might have had forgotten when everything went still.

Looking up, Ryan spotted a lone silhouette walk gracefully into the front of the church. He stood and walked into the main aisle facing the shadow.

Through the cornucopia of colors from the still lit tree the beautiful teenage girl looked cold and emotionless as her satiny curled hair curtained over her shoulders. She wore the same tattered wedding dress he thought she had given back to him.

In the light she looked like a tainted Angel.

Ryan said nothing as his eyes bored into matching browns as there was a deep silence that breathed into the house of God.

Her face lightened slightly. "I love you more then you'll ever know." Cameron spoke with an unfazed voice, despite slow tears running down her eyes.

"I know …" Ryan nodded with resignation.

With one last look she walked out of the church as a row of T-800s rushed past the angelic beauty and at her child.

There were sounds of pistol fire and metallic ringing and a small scuffle before it went silent in the church.


	20. I'll make it better

**So this it the last chapter. **

**It's been fun and somewhat confusing to write.**

**I would like to thank all of you guys that stuck with this story even when you didn't know what was going on. LOL**

**Hey, if there is any peeps that have been shadowing this fic then by all means I would love your final input on this story.**

**Yes there is going to be a sequel coming, but not sure what to call it so for now if you're interested then just keep an eye out for anything new I write. **

**And finally I would love to give a final shout out and special thanks to Figgy … you have been my biggest support through this story and your long reviews have not only helped as inspiration but have sometime got me out of holes. **

**So this one's for you girlie ;) **

**I'll Make it Better, I'll Always Make it Better**

The sound of a cold wind whistling like a tea pot stirred Sarah from her induced coma.

Her body ached all over and there was a heavy and hard pain in her chest. With great effort she lifted her eye lids to find a tattered silk canopy over her eyes. Her mind was running sluggish and it took her a moment to figure out that she was in fact under a large cloth like material and not buried under grass.

With a grunt she pulled the oversized alter sheet off her and with great pain sat up.

She observed her surroundings with heavy eyes.

The lights that once lit up the church were burnt out, bathing the cathedral in a gloom, the once neat and orderly pews where a tangled mess of shattered and broken wood. All around the wooden floor an unheard of number of killed and spent Endoskeletons lay scattered which looked like a squad of Tech-com soldiers fought them off.

"Ryan?" Sarah called weakly. She looked around to find dead bodies near a shattered window but none of them wore Resistance fatigues.

"Ryan?" She called again with a fragile voice. The empty cathedral answered her quarry with silence.

With the help of a pulpit she raised her self to her feet. She found the mess of Skynet's finest ruined about the floor not helping in her quest. She moved gently with a limp as her thigh was stiffened in paralysis.

Each thud and slide she made in her walk toward the door was followed by a little girl like whimper.

Avoiding Terminator piles and bodies she pushed the unhinged double doors open with no great effort.

She was greeted with bitterly cold air and water colored dawn.

"Ryan!" She called out and hobbled toward the sandbagged wall that had lifeless Gray foot soldiers slung over the ramparts each body with a cauterized hole in them.

She gritted her teeth and limped to the wall and looked out at the sight below and had her breath stolen from her.

Between the foot of the hill and the tangled Jungle lay a field of bodies. Some in green fatigues some in off gray with helmets, some metal skeletons, all with their own twisted lifeless bodies piled on one another. There were little places to step on the bloody field without desecrating a departed soul. The sight was like something out of Sarah's nightmares of Judgment day.

The stench of sweet burnt meat and hot metal was carried on the wind and into Sarah's nostrils. Like chloroform the smell of death knocked the wind from Sarah's lungs and with gags she turned her back on the awful sight, sitting on the dirt filled sacks looking at the purple and orange coded clouds with a single tear.

She cried not for the soldiers, but for the loss of innocence of the brutal reality of the Connor and Skynet Rivalry. She cried for the romance that Kyle Reese filled her head with that will never have the same meaning.

There was the sound of a mechanical engine that burst over the silent horror of the field.

From the corner of her eye she saw a dirty and slightly rusted M1-A1 Abrams tank mow past her and set its large cannon down at the tree line, then with a shudder the beast powered down.

Sarah ignored the sounds of boots and footsteps as a platoon of Resistance soldiers in overcoats and beanies move past her on there way down the hill.

"Hot Damn … that must have been one hell of a fight you guys fought last night?" a teenage male with a Cajun accent addressed Sarah with a whistle in his voice.

Sarah didn't answer; she merely looked at her feet lost in pushed together and slow thoughts.

"Hey, ma'ams … are you okay?" the boy shook her, she didn't respond. "Hey medic … we got one here!" he called out.

The sound of shifting gravel approached the youths; a familiar hand reached out and took Sarah's chin.

"Sarah?" Lauren Fields locked eyes with her. Sarah didn't say anything, just simply blinked in answer. "Its okay honey … you're okay." Lauren repeated as she began checking her.

"Lauren?" Sarah spoke gently.

"Yeah …?" she stopped her work on the banged thigh and looked up at her.

"Where's Ryan?" she asked tenderly.

***

_There was a silence that settled in the waiting area of General John Connor's office. _

_In fact the entire hall leading to the secluded area of the large mountain fortress was quiet as if noise in that part of the base was a blasphemy. _

_Alone in a row of seats a young soldier sat in a leather arm chair. His face was paled, the young corporal's right eye was blood shot and a thin gruesome scare ran across it ending in a V on his cheek like someone had placed a large checkmark on him. _

_Ryan opened and closed his left fist looking at the sun kissed smooth skin that was several shades lighter then the rest of him. He clenched his teeth when his hand twitched in an unexplained glitch. _

_He sighed when he got it under control._

_Suddenly the sound of boots announced a newcomer into the room. _

_A beautiful teenage girl with long soft brunette hair and an unmistakable Angelic face stood shadowed over her peer. _

"_John wants to see you." There was little warmth and no emotion behind matching mocha eyes as she addressed the soldier. With a quick turn of her heels she made her way to leave, saying her peace._

"_Mom!" Ryan got out of his chair to pursue, the girl didn't turn or acknowledge the call. "Mom …" he grabbed her waist and tugged her back. _

_The girl turned to face the soldier with curious yet wary eyes, there was few that had touched her and even fewer that had pulled her into such an intiment position. _

"_I'm sorry; I believe you have me mistaken for someone else." The girl tilted her head. _

"_What do you mean? You're saying you don't know who I am?" he bore into her, looking for anything that might hint that he was looking into the eyes of Cameron Connor. _

"_Yes … that is what I mean." She flicked her eyes to the hands grasping her sides curiously._

_Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. She wasn't his mother; she was a machine, the machine that severed his arm and gouged out his eye, the terminator that nearly took his life. _

_Ryan's grip tightened on the cyborg and his teeth became clenched. The girl found his action intriguing and for a small moment there was a small flicker of painful discomfort emotionally from the pure hatred coming from his eyes that she hadn't felt when others had looked at her the same way. She wrote it off and would analyze why he was so different later. _

"_Ryan …" A powerful voice called to the teen from the shadows of a large metal doorway. He slipped his grip off the girl and walked toward the voice. _

_A tall man with broad muscular build and spiked hair moved out of the way letting the brown leather jacket clad soldier by, the girl followed closely and once inside the man walked away leaving the girl to close the door effortlessly._

_Ryan didn't have a favorable look on his face as he stood across the desk from John Connor. _

_John sat in his chair and motioned the young soldier to follow. Ryan flicked his eye at Cameron who was standing in front of the door in a guarding manner. It was an old Tech-Com rule never to let a machine stay behind you. John motioned Cameron to come to him to which she did without hesitation. _

_The girl walked purposefully behind the desk and stood at her keeper's side and flicked her eyes at the young soldier. _

_Carefully Ryan sat in the chair with one eye on his father and one on his mother's imposter. _

"_How's the prosthetics, Cowboy?" John asked in an attempt at small talk. _

"_The added weight of the arm is taking some getting use to, and the neural network is giving me a headache." He complained slightly. John nodded silently. _

_There was a pause between the two males as neither knew where to begin. Ryan flicked up to Cameron who seemed to have an interested if not shocked look on her face that only grew as she analyzed the teen. _

"_Can we not do this with this __**Thing **__here?" Ryan bit off feeling uncomfortable at the stare the brown eyed girl was giving him._

"_She's the reason I summoned you here." John answered in her defense. Ryan scoffed and resettled in his seat. "We need to talk about your mom." He continued. _

"_What mom? In case you haven't heard she's dead …this monster killed her!" He spat at Cameron who responded with a small flash of hurt in her eyes._

"_If Allison is dead then why are you here?" John asked with a foreboding tone. Ryan blinked and shifted in his seat again. _

"_Sorry … temporal mechanics wasn't part of Connor 101." He shot back sinking in his chair. John glared slightly at his rebel's one liner. There was a pause again. _

"_Because Alison Young isn't your mother." Cameron spoke up as if the question was directed to her. _

_Ryan shot out of his chair with rage as if he was ready to fight her. "Go to hell!" he bared his teeth in a display that left John wondering If he was looking at the ghost of Sarah Connor. _

"_She's right Cowboy …" John spoke up unfazed at the hot headed youth. _

"_Oh yeah then who is, huh … if my mother isn't Alison Young … then who is!?" Ryan yelled at John. _

_There was a deeply troubled silence in the room, then with a deep breath John spoke. _

"_She is" he looked at Cameron. _

_Ryan took a step a back in shock looking at the cyborg in horror. _

"_No … that's …no that's impossible." Ryan stuttered shaking his head at Cameron._

"_It's not impossible." Cameron spoke up touching her lower stomach as if to make a point. "Program 66 …" she spoke softly. _

_John nodded stiffly before looking at Ryan. _

"_You said that Mom … Alison." Ryan turned to John in disbelief. _

"_Alison was human your mother was based off of …I told you to stay away, because she had to die so that you could exist and that we could capture Cameron … your mom." John explained carefully but all his efforts were wasted on the irrational teen. _

"_Don't you tell me that …" Ryan picked up his chair and tossed it at the wall. "Don't tell me that! You didn't see her face! You didn't see the fear in her eyes as she faded into nothingness!" he yelled at John. _

"_Your mother and I … we didn't tell you because … we just didn't know how." John tried to get through to his boy who had murder in his eyes. _

"_That what, I was part monster …?" Ryan gritted with hatred. _

"_Your Mom was not a monster!" John shouted out. _

_The hell she wasn't just look at her, she killed Alison Young for no reason!" he yelled challenging John. "Now look at me … Look what you've turned me into!" he held up his arm. _

"_Cameron loved you more then you'll ever know." John said dangerously. _

"_They don't know love!" Ryan countered. John stood out of his chair and looked his son straight in the eye. _

"_The woman who raised you who took care of you, she gave up her arm, her eye, her FREEDOM … so that we … so SHE wouldn't lose you." John balled his fist. _

"_Than it was a waste of her time and mine … Because I would rather have died in ignorance then to be turned into some goddamn Frankenstein's monster!" He turned to leave. _

"_You'd spit on everything she gave to you!" John roared at the teen. _

"_I'm putting in for transfer … somewhere were I don't have to see her … and I don't have see you!" he called becoming no more then a shadow in the doorway. _

"_Don't you turn your back on me" John said darkly. _

"_My life …" was all he said gripping the door handle. _

"_You walk out that door … you leave, don't you ever come back." John said coldly. _

_Ryan stood still turning his head looking at the handsome older man, then wordlessly he jerked open the heavy door and whisked out slamming it shut. _

_John slid into his chair and placed his hands on his face. Cameron watched the door and turned to John. She stalked to him and cautiously put a hand on his shoulder like she had seen him do to others in distress. _

"_Is he my child?" Cameron asked simply. _

"_No … not yet." _

***

There wasn't much Sarah remembered before being shipped to the ICU field hospital. She could feel the hazy morning sun hit her face as the cold wind was repelled by a thick blanket that covered her as she lay in a row of bodies.

She sat up and looked around. Sarah was stunned to find that the main Command Post bunker burned out like there had been several explosions inside. She found that the barracks where she had gone to the Christmas party was missing two of the walls, victim of Skynet artillery.

There was small fear in her chest as she looked down the line of bodies.

"_Am I dying … are my injuries severe?" _

"Hey … Sarah is that you?" a familiar Australian accent called to her. Sarah turned to find Jesse laying on a mat several unconscious soldiers away.

"Yeah …" Was all she responded. Sarah observed that the female soldier was lounging contently in a white bra and a large bandage wrapped around her waist.

"Looks like we're two of the luckiest bitches in the entire 132nd, eh?" she laughed out before laying back down.

"Speak for yourself." Sarah said tiredly.

Her questions were answered when she saw that person after person where placed on Helicopters and transported away.

Lauren walked up to her and knelt. "You should be sleeping." She chastised lightly pressing her hand on Sarah's chest forcing her to lie down.

"How's Sydney …?" Sarah asked the older woman with a tired sigh.

"She's gonna make it." Lauren smiled.

"And Ryan … where is he?" she asked in a voice that only a concerned mother could have. Lauren stayed silent and gave her a pained silence.

"Sleep …" she said in a docile tone. Sarah would have protested but fighting the sleep overtaking her was like trying to fight quicksand, there was no winning.

***

Everything was a blur with the occasional sounds of a helicopter and the feeling of a gurney being pushed.

There were loud sounds of purposeful walking and strangled cries of the wounded when she felt herself become stationary. Though weak she never forgot her training or mantra.

"_No one is ever safe."_

From her observations she could tell that she was inside an ER of some sort. Then with frustration she blanked out again.

When she came to a shaky consciousness she was now in an isolated room, next to her there was a heart monitor. The tape on her arm and the numbed sensation in her shoulder and leg also told her that she was hooked to morphine.

She felt eyes on her, watching carefully. A hand was stroking her cheek gently. Normally she would shutter or fight off the affection, but the touch was familiar, soothing, and she felt the love in each strafe of her smooth skin. She sighed contently and pressed into it.

The sound of a door opened and heavy boots walked into the room.

"You needed me?"

Sarah recognized the voice as the one that came over Ryan's portable radio after her first meeting with him by the camp fire.

"I want you to detail a scouting parting to find Ryan …"

The voice was deep and powerful.

"Sir … we've already had three sent out in the past three days." The female argued cautiously. "Maybe it's time to call It." she offered.

The hand stroking Sarah's cheek stopped and was removed swiftly. Even in a semi conscious state Sarah could feel the rage of the person next to her.

"FIND HIM!!" the male voice was like a clap of thunder that shook and vibrated the equipment in the room.

"Yes sir …" the feminine voice was sharp and obedient and with a sharp click the door closed.

The room was quiet again as she felt her mattress dip and a warm body lay next to her giving a worried shaky breath.

Sarah felt strong arms envelope her in a gentle and tender hug, like she was something precious or fragile.

Like before the touch and the warmth of the body was so familiar and comforting that there was only two people she could think of that could make her feel so safe.

"John?" she called weakly burying her face into hardened muscles of his chest that were covered by a T-Shirt.

"I'm right here …" the voice took a softer and despite the deepness in it there was a unmistakable tone that only she knew.

Sarah let herself surrender to the embrace and she tucked herself in his arms as if she had finally found the last piece of a puzzle.

"I'm sorry for leaving you." Tears ran down her cheeks and onto his chest.

"You haven't … and you never will." John whispered, kissing her wet cheek. She sniffled lightly and nodded settling into the loving embrace.

The rhythmic stroking of her back slowly sent her into a soothing sleep that she never had experienced in her entire life.

***

"_I guess you know why you're here?" a shadowed figure spoke to Ryan from his desk._

"_Yeah I heard …?" the young soldier wore the same leather jacket from before though it only went down to his knees not his calves. He no longer was the rebellious teen, but a grown man with facial hair and now styled grown out raven haired, not the shoulder length challenge of military conduct. _

"_Then you know what you have to do …?" the voice was dark. _

"_No … but I know what I'm going to do." Ryan shot back._

"_After all of these years I thought you would have learned the lesson of doing all that is necessary." _

"_Maybe that's what you tell yourself to get yourself through the day … But I don't kill unless it's actual life and death." _

_There was a pause between the two. _

"_I guess the blood runs deeper then I thought." The voice chuckled with a sigh. _

"_Yeah maybe …" Ryan trailed off. He flicked his eyes to the ominous figure sitting in the dark. "Why me?" he asked with a nod. _

"_You're the only one I can trust to do this." _

"_You pulled me from my family, from my command to lead a strike team into a Eugenics Lab to find … who, some assassin?" _

"_You'll know when you see it." _

_Ryan sucked in some air of frustration. There was a pause of between the two again. _

"_It's a damn shame about your wife, Cowboy." _

_Ryan swigged a jug of fragmented wine. "Yeah … it is." He grunted letting the burning pass. _

"_I'm sure your mom would of liked her." _

_The young officer scoffed. _

"_Mom never liked or disliked a damn thing in her entire life." There was bitterness to the soldier's voice. _

"_So you've accepted the truth …?" _

"_I've accepted that a machine conceived me, but I don't believe for a second it was out of love." Ryan got to his feet and turned to leave. _

"_Your mother loves you Cowboy, she always has … even if she doesn't know it." _

_Ryan stopped and gave his father's shadow a look of disgust. _

"_You know what old man?" he said with anger. "It turns out that everyone was right about you after all these years. You are insane." Ryan turned on his heels and exited the office. _

_Alone in the dark John Connor spoke into the emptiness. _

"_Cameron loves you, Baby boy … you'll see it before the end." _

_***_

"John!"

Sarah sat up from her position on a cot readjusting the strap to her tank top.

The room she was surrounded in was about the size of a dorm room. It was mostly Spartan with only a map on the wall with thumb tacks pinpointing locations.

She pulled the sheets off her showing off her milky bare legs and a pair of panties. She got her feet and walked to a small computer desk that was missing a computer.

It was covered in empty bottles and there were papers on the floor like someone attempted to trash the area, but there just wasn't much to trash.

One of Sarah's bare feet stepped on something cold and metallic. She jumped back a moment in alarm till she found that it was nothing but a picture frame. Bending over she picked up the picture and turned it over.

In the frame was an exquisitely beautiful woman. She had long sleekly curled black hair; her exotic looks were complemented by blue eyes and pale complexion. she wore a sleeveless white wedding dress and a black choker. There was a beautiful somewhat coy smile on her perfect lips. The beauty in the frame was a true human marvel, not an artificial creation of Skynet, but something only God could have had a hand in.

The only thing obscuring the heart stopping sight of heaven was impact cracks on the glass frame were it had it the floor.

Sarah found a peace of folded paper on a chair in front of the desk. She unfolded it to find that someone had torn it in half.

**I can imagine it right now …**

**Were asleep in our room snuggled together in our soft linen sheets and the door bursts open and our little boy and two girls rush in and jump all over us, because it's Christmas morning and they want to open presents. We pretend to be stern, but we let them lead us down the stairs too a our beautiful decorated tree where there is all sorts of bows and silver wrapping paper that will be shredded into a million pieces by our cavalier little soldiers, and I'll be mad at them, but will secretly enjoying every second of it.**

**After the joy of putting together toys and reading instructions the babies will fall asleep again and it will be just you and me and the bows our children had put in our hair. You'll kiss me and we'll enjoy the sight of sleeping children under our tree with their favorite toys spooned with them.**

**When you find time to sleep on this Mission or if you're lonely just think of this and you'll find consul and a home in my heart. **

**I Love You,**

**Mary**

Sarah smiled at the neat writing of a clearly young wife who loved the person she wrote it too very much.

Under the bottles there was a crumbled up piece of yellow paper. She frowned and moved the stale smelling alcohol bottles and uncrumbled the paper.

It was a telegram wire that had a seal in the corner of the sheet that looked like the patch on Ryan's leather coat.

**1****st**** Lieutenant Ryan C. Phillips**

**We regret to inform you that on the 3****rd**** of December, 2029 Staff Sergeant Maria Monaco Connor was stricken with Pneumonia after the birth of your Infant child. **

**On 5****th**** of December, 2029 Kyle Connor was killed of respiratory complications. Though a minor case of pneumonia your wife Maria Connor faded into a coma where she also died. **

It was all Sarah could bear to read.

She dropped the wrinkled paper to the floor and suddenly felt tears streaming down her face.

It had never occurred to her all through there time together that Ryan had lost his family. The words of Mary her Grand daughter in–law echoed through her head like a lament as she stared at the remnants of what Ryan's life had became before he rescued her.

Booze, faded memories, and broken dreams, it was only now that she truly understood why Ryan fought so hard to protect her.

Sarah was truly all he had left in the world.

***

Eventually Sarah found pants and boots that were left for her stored under the cot. Both were somewhat big on her but she figured that she was other forgotten or they didn't expect her to up and about yet.

Pushing open the door she walked out into a narrow hallway where there seemed to be several rows of doors like a motel.

Unknown how or why Sarah began making her way down the hall and through corridors. She passed soldiers who didn't seem to give her a second glance as they passed by her in the halls.

Sarah walked down flights of steps and through corridors. As she got lower and lower her surroundings became less and less like a military installation and more like cave tunnels. She also noticed that the farther down she went the fewer people she came across.

In truth she wasn't sure where she was going, but no one seemed to stop her or turn her away, so she kept going.

Finally after traveling a great distance she reached a secluded hallway.

It was dimly lit and as far as she could tell it was abandoned, but something inside told her that it wasn't.

With a purposeful breath she cautiously walked down the poorly lit corridor till she reached the outside of a room.

There was a wooden office building like door with frosted glass obscuring the view from inside.

Where there should have been curiosity, Sarah had certainty. She opened the door and walked inside.

There was a row of leather arm chairs placed against the wall of what looked like a waiting room a hospital. The only light inside was from two laps on round corner tables giving the room an ominous gloom.

The sound of a terribly sad mechanical chirping tune that sounded like it belonged in a ballet came escaped from a large heavy metal door that was cracked open.

Without a second thought she pulled it open to reveal an also dimly lit office.

What immediately caught Sarah's attention were two glass cases with clothed headless manikins inside.

The first manikin had on a black Tank top and kaki cargo pants tucked into familiar brown motorcycle boots that were fitted at the feet. A familiar black waist belt with metal ringlets and ammunition pouches was strapped to the waist and a broken and dented tactical shotgun was slung behind it.

It was an eerie thing for Sarah to see a memorial of herself; a chill ran down her body.

The second manikin was a stark contrast as it contained a familiar tattered silken wedding dress with a well worn purple leather collarless jacket over the dress. At its feet was a pair of well used balled slippers.

Turning to what was in front of her she saw a large metal desk.

A host of scattered papers and maps lay strewn over its surface, also in on the surface was a well worn brown leather jacket with buttons that she had seen more then once.

But what caught Sarah's attention was the man sitting behind the desk.

He was tall and broad. He had medium spiked hair and wore threadbare green fatigues. His brilliantly handsome face was covered with designer stubble and there was a gruesomely deep scar embedded over his eye that seemed to trace his face.

Familiar green eyes had a great and intense pain in them as the man watched a ballerina figurine twirl on a mechanical wheel of a tainted gold locket.

Sensing Sarah's presence he closed the locket.

"John …" she said with a hitched breath looking at the grown man she raised. He didn't look at her; he merely tossed the locket down on the desk which made a small ringing at the clash of metal.

"John … is that you?" Sarah continued slowly seeing the similarities to her child that only a mother can spot.

The man grabbed the jacket and fingered the red sash on the left elbow.

"You know that me and Cameron … we use to call Ryan cowboy?" John asked Sarah still not looking at her.

"Yeah … I know." Sarah crocked feeling tears spill over her eyelids as she saw the soul consuming pain that hung over her grown boy.

"It's funny, but you know Cameron was the one who coined it?" he laughed a small painful laugh. "You see when he was a baby, Ryan had a hard time walking and he fell a lot. One day I was in the kitchen of our apartment making dinner and Cameron, she was on the carpeted floor trying to get the baby to walk to her and he must of fallen down at least seven times, but he never cried, just got up and kept coming to his momma. Well, eventually he made it to her and she compared him to a Cowboy trying to brake in a horse. So the name stuck ever since." He sniffled and cleared his throat.

There was a pain in her heart as Sarah realized the cold hard truth. Ryan was gone.

"God, he loved this Jacket … Cameron she gave it to him for his eighth birthday. He spent years carrying it with him because he couldn't fit into it." John's voice cracked a little. "And neither of us got see him wear it for the first time." There was devastation in his voice that Sarah never wanted to hear from her son.

Sarah was speechless as she tried to find the words to comfort John, but she had none.

Silently Sarah walked to her son till she was inches from his sitting form, and then gently she took his stubbly cheek, tears running from her softened green eyes.

"I tried … to change things, to influence all possible futures." John said taking Sarah's hand. "But there are something's I can't change, Problems in this universe that there isn't any answers, events that happen to which nothing … nothing can be done to stop them, and in my quest to solve them … I've lost everything." John shook his head as he confessed in tears and a cracked voice into Sarah's gentle palm.

Wordlessly Sarah slipped into his lap and ran a hand through his hair, tears falling freely as the weight of her failure to fulfill her promise to her son to stop the war, to protect him from the this very moment when the realization came that there was nothing left at the end of it all.

"Mom …" John looked into Sarah's eyes. "There gone … they're all gone." He said brokenly.

"I know …" She nodded and pulled his head into the cove of her smooth neck under chin. "God, baby, I know." She said as John took her in his arms and sobbed silently.

"I love you … so much." She spoke her heart to her only purpose in life. She kissed his forehead. "And I promise I'll make everything better, I swear." She sobbed into his hair.

She lifted his head so that he was looking her in the eye.

"I love you, and I swear I'll make this better."

In the silence of the office there was the sound of a smack of a kiss and then a sickening snap of a neck.


End file.
